I've been trying to understand how not to "should all over myself", and not getting any ancwers to this should questions. My biggest thing is why expectations are so important, and I know why it is for me, becasue everyone around me expects me to be a certain way. I've never been able to live on this earth not having to adapt to someone else likings and not being myself. As a daughter I had to be a certain way, being a friend I have to be a certain way, being a wife the same, and so on being a mother. I just don't fit in this world! How can't I ask myself " what should I do different to fit in," because that's my life. In all my relationships with people, it's my fault, but no one has ever given me a reason that's my fault, they don't have one, but it's still my fault. So what should I expect out of myself, but doubt and wonder what I'm doing wrong? The only strengh I have had in my life is Christ, and that's only a feeling, my faith, but not having a single human being to ever support me, it makes it hard not to have so many expectations and wishing things were different. I know in my heart that someday after I'm dead, I'll have that secure feelings of love that I wanted here on earth, but why do I have to be dead to have that Love that Christ gives us all everyday. Elisa

update

I went with my daughter to her therapist, and she knows my situation, and knows that my daughter is blamming me for a lot of her situation. Well she said something that made me feel a lot better. She said that I'm always there for people, and they know they can depend on me being bad or good situation, and because of that people feel comfortable getting mad at me, knowing that I'll still be there for them. It seems wierd typing these words, because it doesn't make much sence, but it did sound good when it came out of her mouth ELisa

Makes perfect sense to me! Glad you were able to get some peace from her therapist!