I've had anxiety and social phobia for about 30 years. It's difficult when I see others succeeding and achieving. My friends seem to have professional careers, money and have traveled to many places in the world. I have a ordinary paralegal job and have only been out of the U.S. once. I don't like my job and "feel" that I should be more successful. When I think about others I know, I get angry, envious and then very depressed. This tape is VERY difficult for me. I don't seem to know "how" to lower my expectations. It feels like I'm trying to fool myself into thinking that I am not second-rate. Does anyone else feel like this???

I totally know how you feel Mikey. This semester ( I am a little younger) I am learning to set very realistic expectations. What I do is, for classes I set a c average as my goal. I work a little harder than I need to to achieve it and if I surpass that goal then I succeeded! the point is that I determine what the punishment and reward system is in my own head. It is learning to be "average" sometime and other times to be "above average" It serves us no purpose to try to be the best at every damn thing we do. It's kind of like the saying "jack of all trades, ace of none" except we try to be "ace of all"! So learn/choose to not take yourself so seriously. Is the world really gonna stop spinning on its axis if you do this? I think not! Good luck my friend, as the journey before you is one of great honor, determination and pride.

Mikey-
First of all Stop comparing yourself to others- every individual is unique and different and who says you need to be more successful- is there any law out there that says that- No!!! So stop telling yourself that and feeling bad for yourself- all that does is make you feel worse. We all have choices and options in life and you choose to do whatever your heart tells you to do. There is nothing wrong with being a paralegal- its not boring, Please most work is boring- thats just how it goes. i have been in a high executive job before and that did not make me feel happy- You yourself choose each day to wake up happy or not so stop comparing and write a plan down - one step at a time. You are the only one who can figure that out and you should not feel that you are not sucessful- You are we all are. Success is not measured on how far you have gone with your job- It matters how you make of your life- whats important to you- Write down whats important to you and some positive things you like to do that make u happy- it helps trust m,e
Good luck- But remember You are successful too!!!!

just wanted to let you know your not alone in your feelings. I had general anxiety since i was very small and growing up missed alot of oppurtunities because of the anxiety. at the age of thirty i started having panic attacks and life really got miserable but with this course alot has changed and i fuction pretty good again.I also struggle from time to time with the thoughts of not being where i would like to be in life in terms of financial sucess or the education i would like to have (i missed years of school because i could not sit in a class room without feeling overwhelming anxiety) i did get my g.e.d. and went to college for a few years so i now know it is possible to make up lost time.hey try to qiut being so hard on yourself and count the blessings you have.we all have things to be thakful for and we really are all unique. one other thing that has helped me is cutting out the negitive people in my life. I had a close relative who loved to brag of all they had and ALWAYS! laughed at and put down my thoughts ideas etc. I just little by little stopped associating with them and now don;t have any contact and my life is much more happier and positive. good luck in all you do and keep doing what will make you happy.

I can totally relate my expectations are huge..........I scored a 76 on the test. I am super hard on myself and I have super high expectations of others and myself. I could use some good advice myself.

Thank you so much for your post about high expectations and comparing yourself to others.
I'm 37 and feel like I haven't achieved what I hoped I would by now. So, I'm really struggling with what that means. Does it mean my expectations are out of whack or does it mean that I need to focus even harder?

It's a real mystery to me right now. I'm trying to remind myself that while every day counts, every day doesn't have to be frought with drama and self-doubt. Yes, it's great to achieve every day, but nagging myself incessantly all day does not help me achieve anything.

This is a tough one for me. I welcome any input!