I'm 23 and I am always worring about my future, and how will I be able to live a normal life with this anxiety and depression. I always worry that I will not meet anyone, i'll never get married, i'll never have children, i'll never have the type of job i want etc. My sister is getting married and she is just a year older than I am and so are some of the friends I once had. I even worried about this when I was a young teenager. I went out with a guy for a couple of years when I was feeling a bit better. Even though he treated me very badly like cheating on me, calling me names, disrespecting me in front of his friends, standing me up, and even spitting in my face I wanted to stay with him because at least I would not be alone, and being with him really made me forget my anxiety. We broke up and I havent heard from him in years, until about a year ago, and he says he is sooo sorry and will spend the rest of his life making it up to me. Well my question is have u ever worried about the same type of thing, and do u think peoplecan change and should I give this guy another chance. I really appreciate anyones opinion and your views.

Hello.. Not sure if people really can change but I do think that as we get older we have a very different perspective on things.. When your young you have your entire life in front of you so you do things that when you get more mature you realize that they were stupid .. I think I would give him another chance but you take control of the relationship.. Never let him think you cant live without him... There are lots of fish in the sea and if it doesnt work out someone else will come along.. They always do..I found out when they think you need them they tend to take you for granted and think you will always stay.. I have been in some bad relationships in my life and now when I look back I think how stupid I was to put up with the things that men did to me and I take partial blame cause I stayed and let it go on...That wont happan again.. The first sign of trouble and I am gone...I would rather be alone that with someone who treats me badly..Hope that helps.. Kathie

its a rough age. i'm only 25, so 23 is fresh in my memory. at 23, i was having the same thoughts. i was alone, my friends, even younger than me (including my ex gf) were all getting married, had kids, business jobs, etc. here i was, no job, no relationship, no kids, no future. i felt SO old at 23. now, i'm 25, i am on the verge of getting a job, i finally know what i wanna do in life, and, at 24 i met my current SO and we are more than happy together. everything falls into place. anxiety is no reason to not meet someone. i had mine when we met, and, i couldn't ask for a more understanding and caring person to be with. sitting with me at the ER, comforting me, etc. its amazing. i'm not ashamed of my anxiety, i feel i can be as opened as i want, and i get nothing but support. it can, and will happen for you. at 25, i have kind of a new outlook on life. yeah, i may not be where all my friends are, but, i wouldn't trade my life for anything. it all happens for a reason. if i follwed the "norm" and went right to college, at 24, i would be graduated, with business friends and a business job and i would have been living that life. well, if i were, i wouldn't have been on myspace at 4 am when i came across my fiances profile. yes, we met on myspace, but we've been together for over a year and this has been my best relationship. we are so in love, and it still feels new and amazing. before we met, i was alone for 7 years, lol. just know that you are exactly where your supposed to be in life. if you feel anxious, thats fine, your supposed to feel anxious then. don't let it get to you. if your alone right now, don't worry about it. everything happens for a reason. even if plans change, i get blown off by a friend, and i have no plans for the night, i'll be upset, but i'll think "well, everything happens for a reason. maybe on the way to meet my friend i would have been in a car wreck or something." its superstitious, but it makes me feel better, lol. and don't settle for anything but the best for you.

Sporadic, I personally want to thank you for that reply. Too bad we can't look into the future and now everything will be ok. It would save us so much anxiety, wouldn't it? I'm 22 and have all the same fears and worries. Like you, I feel SO old at 22.
Hopefully by your age, I'll be at a spot where I can look back and think of how silly I was for worrying about everything.

Kelly,

Do you see your negative thinking? Do you see the worry pattern? Are you working the program? You can heal and get over this with your participation in the exercises. Don't make any decisions based on your emotions and negative thinking. Wait until you see yourself healing first. You'll know when that is. Being alone with yourself is really good practice for you. When you can be alone with yourself and really like your own company, you then can see things clearly and will not enter into abusive relationships just to avoid feeling your emotions.

Wow, Boon- thats so very true! I agree, but of course it's easier said than done for each person. Nobody is alike,regardless, and we just have to go at our own pace. I'm definitely trying to start to love myself and not worry if i'm going to spend time with friends today. Tomorrow is another day! One thing at a time, right?! Later all!