During christmas time I had to meet my boyfriends family.This was before i found the program. I was very nervous and didn't have much to say. My biggest problem is socializing and this was really hard because I wanted his family to like me. It was a long day and I really felt left out. I really wanted to be myself but I was too nervous. But anyway today i found out that his sister and two of his cousins think I'm weird. They told my boyfriend that I seem like I was bored and didn't want to be there. I was just really nervous and i wanted them to like me.My boyfriend told them that I was shy and wasn't used to them. And his sister responded by saying "she is how old and she is still shy". He told her that I was 21. I guess she thinks I'm too old to be shy. But I think they thought it was really weird ( everyone except my boyfriend because he knows what I'm going through)But they are not the only ones who don't understand. Some people know about the situation that I'm in and they use it to take advantage of me. The worst thing about the situation is that I have to go Kings Dominion with them in August and I'm going to be even more nervous because they think I'm weird. Has anyone been in a situation like this ? What did you do? I really don't want to go to the amusement park with them. What would you do?

Ok- this is my opinion- I feel I can say this because this sounds like me all over. You shouldn't care what they think and your boyfriend shouldn't tell you what they say about you. Secondly you are already having anticipatory anxiety about this if you are worrying about it now. Tell youself you are going to be your best self in August. You are going to try to look them in the eye and talk to them. Ask questions, get them to talk about themselves. Most of all don't start worrying about it. Don't worry just relax.

Dear Dinah,
It's easy to say that people are "weird" when they are shy or not like you. Your boyfriend should tell them that you have some trouble opening up to people and it would be nice if they would be sensitive to this. Also, by him telling you what others say is only hurting you and he shouldn't do it. Hang in there and soon his family will see the awesome things in you that he sees.

I am new to all of this but I thought I would like to respond to your sitution. It seems to me that Christmas would be a difficult time to "join" in with anyones family much less someone you feel a connection with. Christmas is a time when families tend to remember the good old days ( Which you probably did not take part in) and people are under stress anyway...will they like my gift? will it fit? ect.....so many last minute things to do...STRESS!!!!! Please don't expect too much of yourself too soon...it took time for you to get to know him and it will take time to get to know his family as well. But on the other hand, his family may accept you or they may not...just be yourself and try to relax and enjoy his company if not theirs.

Thank you all for the responses they really helped.

Honey, I can say that cause I am 40, and KNOW EXACTLY what you are dealing with! I have been called, "damaged goods", "weird", then got my nose broke while this jerk was saying it,"had bats in the bellfry", and the like! I didn't tell anyone what was wrong with me since I thought it was better that people find me weird than to let them know how shy I was! Your boyfriend handled that just fine,and it is impressive! YOU handled that just fine,and that is great! Go have a blast, and if somebody finds you weird, so what?Everybody is weird in one way or another! FOCUS on all of that fun you will be having!

First of all, what does shyness have to do with age? That sounds like a comment an immature person would make. Social phobia is one of my biggest problems (and I'm 28 and definately not immature). I often seem bored, like I don't want to be somewhere and worst yet--like a snob! But you know what? People make those kinds of snap judgements because they are insecure and uncomfortable with themselves. Since I have been doing the program, I have found it helpful to just tell people what's going on with me. For years I have tried to hide it so people didn't think I was weird. But how many MILLIONS of people suffer with anxiety and social phobia? Have you seen the Paxil commercials?? If they think you're weird, great, let them. Then I'm weird too.

You know, I felt like I was reading something I wrote three years ago. I had been dating my boyfriend for two months. I became so nervous when I went to meet his family because I really wanted them to like me. It is okay to be nervous when meeting the parents. It is such a common reaction. I found that for me, just to continually see my boyfriend's family and friends has been so helpful for me. I have never been shy, I just would go quiet. Sure maybe they thought I was stuck-up, or bored or anything, but what really matters now, is what I think. Who cares what other people think. But basically, with exposure to them all I began to feel more comfortable and now I am fine around them. I have found topics that I can talk about with each of them so then I just don't sit there quietly. Now, we are getting married and his family and my family couldn't be happier! I guess at the base of all my blabbering is to accept your nervousness in meeting his family, it happens to many people. I hope this helps! Take care! And enjoy King Dominion