i can be very controling my expectations are very high i know this is part or alot of my unhappiness. how do i stop this??? I am angry at my mother and she usually isnt doing anything it binds me and makes me beat myself up every day because im always failing
HELP
kathy

kathy, relax girl. and watch all that negative talk. Do you have issues with your mom ? Are you using the relaxation tape.
Dont expect everything to happen at once. You cannot see yourself as a failure. We are all winners. You started this program and that is a great step in the right direction. Give yourself a little time and latitude.

hi kathy,

I'm not sure what your issues are with your mom, but it sounds like there are some deep ones. Remember the positive self talk in lesson 3? really really try to pay attention to that. if you are beating yourself up and blaming things/people out of your control you will stay in a negative cycle. you are not a failure, you have taken a huge step doing this program and there is no pass or fail, it isn't a test. everytime you are good to yourself you are getting well. best wishes!!!

Kathy, you must take control of your thoughts and create positive thinking habits. It's not easy but you must try and gain a little ground each time. Please don't give in, try to focus on the positive things in life. Take Care & God Bless. David

I to had a problem with lesson 4 it was so right in my face right about me. I ended up geting a personal coach to help me go on to lesson 5 because the perfectionist in me would not let me go on before fixing this in me. but the truth is it will take time and practice to fix it all, in the mean time you need to stop shoulding on yourself and stop shoulding on everyone else and move on, continuing to practice the positive life.

I just got this in my email today, and when I read your post I thought this may help you to get a new perspective on life;

There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind.

She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her.

She told her boyfriend, "If I could only see the world, I will marry you."

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend.

He asked her,'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?'

The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.

Her boyfriend left her in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.'

This is how the human brain often works when our status changes.
Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.

Life Is a Gift

Today before you say an unkind word -
Think of someone who can't speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone who has nothing to eat.

Before you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion.

Today before you complain about life -
Think of someone who went too early to heaven.

Before you complain about your children -
Think of someone who desires children but they're barren.

Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or sweep -
Think of the people who are living in the streets.

Before whining about the distance you drive -
Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.

And when you are tired and complain about your job -
Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.

But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another -
Remember that not one of us is without sin and we all answer to one MAKER.

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on your face and thank GOD you're alive and still around.