I, like many of you, also struggle with high expectations. My parents divorced when I was little and ever since I've dreamt of starting a perfect family.so that one day I could make up for what my parents couldn't give me.........but my expectations have often made it hard for my husband and son...... Like I was so unrealistic to expect my 15 month old son to be quiet in the theater.........and my husband can't read my mind.......sometimes I would get mad at him for what "he" did in my dreams...ever did that? But believe me I don't want to be this way cause I grew up with a perfectionist father and sometimes I can see myself acting just like him.........I hate it......but I know I have control and I ask for your prayers as I move towards change. I know God is teaching me an important lesson because I've had so many expectations dashed.........and my husband is deployed for the second time so I'm learning to trust in God and not to put all my hope into a man.......It's hard cause I want to imagine my husband as my prince and I keep imagining him rescuing me from the everyday....but that's hog wash and he's just a regular human being.and if I'm gonna have a good day I"m gonna have to make it one despite what other people do. It's so much easier to play the victim or the damsel in distress. I guess this program really shows us we have responsibility for our life. I find it hard to be responsible and yet have positive self talk. Can anyone relate? oh what a tangled web we weave Please let me read your stories.
blessings, Amber D

Lisa,
I remember dreams about my husband when we were younger, and yes I would wake up mad at him! lol
Although he always reminded me they were just dreams.
Neither of my parents were perfectionists, but they were awesome parents. My dad had depression for about 10yrs. I know it had a bad effect on all of us kids.
Learning to be your own safe person is a wonderful thing, and the program teaches you that. Although my husband is wonderful, in my worst times of panic and anxiety, I to wanted him to take care of me, do things for me, make it all better. But Life just doesnt work like that. Anxiety makes us "feel" like we arent in control but we are, and always have been.
Perfect,, no such thing!! Can we be the best we can be, absolutely,, and be happy with that!!! If your parents werent perfect lisa,,none of us are. That what makes us all unique!! We all have flaws and hangups, and we all work to strive to be a better person!!
You be the best YOU you can be,, thats good enough!! take care Nelly

Yes, I can relate all too well .

Somehow I think one of the most important things I learned from this program, besides wonderful coping skills, was toning down the perfectionist in myself. "tone it down as you go along" is my motto now.

Part of learning to do this is realizing that responsibility does not have to be a harsh word. Important, yes, but even the importance varies with every situation or circumstance.
Lots of us grew up thinking that some type of rigid rules were usually associated with the word responsibility. Not so. We don't have to be responsible in a rigid way, and that lets us create more positives in our self talk.
We don't have to be harsh on ourselves in order to be responsible.
Hmmm, I'm trying to explain how I got to this point and it doesn't seem all that clear to me. So, just take the general idea of it all and now I'll give it a shot again.

Guess what I'm getting to here is that we can be responsible and still let the positives form. We can do this when we choose to consciously tone down our expectations of ourselves and others. Then, we aren't beating ourselves up so much for insignificant things - and we allow ourselves the privilege of free flowing positives to enter our minds. The clutter of our own self demands isn't there - more space for the good stuff!!!
Bit redundant, but hey, fatigue is setting in.

So anyway It took a while, but the program helped me to do this.
Life is better. More relaxed. More peaceful.

Oh yes, relating to it -
I used to have incredibly high expectations and wanted to provide the most perfect environment for my kids, all the time.
Whew, talk about exhaustion and anxiety provoking thinking and behavior!!!
It was wonderful to jump off of that train!
Give it time, you'll get there.
This program is awesome.