Hello everyone,

I have been suffering from general anxiety/panic attacks for over three years now. It has literally taken over my life in many ways. I was a highly successful professional. I had it all, the lifestyle, comfort, etc. I suddenly started experiencing panic attacks probably about once a month for about a year. I was so busy with my career that I just brushed it off, didn't really worry about it, attributed the "feeling" to stress and just moved on. There came a point where my stress level was through the roof, and that's when the panic attacks became more frequent and got more stress. And then there came a day where I had this full-blown PA, I thought I was going to die. I thought I was going crazy. I just wanted to RUN! I was at work. I left early and haven't returned to my profession since of which I took a lot of pride and joy and worked really hard for many years to obtain.

I literally became housebound from there on. I would force myself to go grocery shopping and do things but the anxiety was so overwhelming that sometimes, I had to avoid those things. Never had a problem with driving, feel like I'm in control.

I've tried psychologists, psychiatrists, a Christian counselor, Xanax with little or no relief. I have to say, though, the Christian counselor helped immensely, but the anxiety is still there.

I then mustered up the courage of obtaining a job in another profession. It was really hard but I did it. I held that job for a year. However, I was really unhappy because I was constantly comparing myself to who I used to be both as a person and as a profession. I was making a lot less money and the bills were starting to rake up. At the same time, that's when I started losing some of my fears. Going to the grocery store wasn't such a big deal anymore. Talking to people was getting easier, which was a tough one for me. I get super uncomfortable & nervous around others.

I have since quit the job and am now working closer from home. I've obtained a real estate license and I am a loan officer. I'm self-employed, so I can choose to go to the office when I need to.

The issue I'm having now is that my social fears are coming back. I'm starting to get busier at work. And although the stress level is low and the working environment is a good one and I should have every reason to be excited because I'm excelling, I'm becoming more anxious. And now that I'm having to meet more clients face to face, it's becoming harder for me to do that.

Today I had an appt at 11 a.m. but my anxiety is through the roof. I canceled. The last two nights, I haven't been able to sleep. Only got 2-3 hours of sleep a couple of days ago and about 3 hours sleep last night. I'm so anxious that I want to throw up.

I ordered this program a month ago. I'm so confident and optimistic that it will work for me. But right now, I've kind of had a setback and I'm scared to death that I won't ever overcome this. I've been really good about listening to the tapes and doing the homework. I actually listen to the tapes almost on a daily basis and make sure I have it down, take notes, and I also review the homework at least three times for the week and make sure I'm doing what the weekly assignment tells you to do, which is why I decided to start facing some of my fears.

Last weekend, I held an open house along with a real estate agent. I was really excited about it. I reviewed Lesson 2 & 4 in the morning & listened to the relaxation tape, ate a healthy breakfast, and I felt that I was good to go.

I did really good in the beginning. Then in the middle of the open house, I became really anxious. It was becoming hard to hide. From there on, the anxiety started to become worse. And right now, I'm feeling nonfunctional and numb with anxiety.

Yesterday when I went to work and attempted to sit down with my co-worker to discuss marketing plans and upcoming events, I became so anxious that I had to make excuses to continually leave the room. My lips would start to tremble, my facial muscles were doing funny things, and I'm feeling like the other person is noticing me and I'm making a fool of myself. I'm trying to use the skills I've learned but the symptoms only get worse. So finally I had to tell my co-worker that I was not feeling well and that we'd get together the next day or the day after to finish up. And yesterday afternoon, I kept having crying spells. My husband is very encouraging and supportive.

But today, I guess due mostly to lack of sleep and feeling a little overwhelmed, I'm feeling super anxious and my co-worker is expecting me at the office later.

I've been using the positive self-talk and all the skills. The more I use them while I'm anxious, the more fast my racing thoughts occur. It's such an awful feeling! I'm so desperate! I just want to cry, cry, cry.

I guess I should refresh my skills, listen to the tapes and start working on some of my behaviors. I guess I just expected it to be easier than this once facing your fears, especially when having some skills. I'm also a true believer in God and that He will help me get through this. But right now, I'm feeling like there is no hope, like I've failed AGAIN. But then I keep telling myself, no, I didn't fail. We all make mistakes in life.

I have everything to live for: wonderful husband, two beautiful children, very supportive parents, a great career and a lot of potential. Yet, this anxiety has put a stop to so many things which is why I'm really taking this program serious in hopes that I will get better.

Does anyone have any problems with social anxiety and any tips on how I could better handle it? I'd really appreciate them. I was thinking of doing some role play with my husband and he agreed to it. Just haven't really gotten around to it. I lack confidence, self-esteem and communication skills. I'm so ready to get over this!

Thank you all!!

Determined,
i read your writing twice just to be sure what you were saying. The begining was you had everything you wanted, you were climbing the ladder of success (which means working your butt off) many hours, which causes stress. You are so right, you do have lots of potential, but my clue is you are a driven person, and driven people end up with anxiety because of thier expectations being to high!! Try to take life a little slower, a little more even paced. Take time out for yourself, just you. Do something you enjoy. Life isnt all about WORK or Finacial success. You have a wonderful husband and kids, give what you can to them first!! Kids grow up. God will help you through this time, but be sure and give him some of your time with your personal relationship with him. Always reveiw your program, even when you are feeling good and when you are feeling good, try NOT to overwhelm yourself. Take care Nelly

Thanks so much, Nelly.

Right now, I'm taking the morning off, just laying in my bed and listening to my relaxation tape and just spending some time in prayer and reinforcing positive thoughts. I'm feeling a bit calm but super exhausted due to lack of sleep the last couple of days. I will take a short nap and then go to work more rested and only for a couple of hours.

One good thing that has come out of my anxiety is that I have been forced to take it slower. I've been spending more time with my kids and husband now than I ever did in the past. I cherish my family so much and they come first.

Right now, I only work part-time. I'm actually content with that. I'm also slowly getting myself back into the business, but I keep reminding myself that, like you said, it is not about success and career. It's about God and my family.

I think that the last couple of days I've been doing a little more than I'm used to, and that's what's causing the anxiety, plus meeting with more clients than I'm used to and trying to get comfortable with it. It helps to hear it from someone else.

Thank you so much!