Okay, here goes. And I will thank you in advance for reading all of this, it might be kind of long.Anyway, mostly things have been going pretty well for me, but to start off with my six year old son has been home sick for a week and a half, so I haven't had any down time (I have been passing out the same time as him at night), then my father called me on Mon. night to let me know that my grandmother had died, okay I was handling this all pretty well. But, then he asks me if I can go to the funeral, which means either spending lots of money or riding in a car for 6-8 hours to go and sleep in someone else's home. Then on Wed. I found out that an old frined of mine had snapped and now he's in jail facing up to a year sentence (no, he didn't physically hurt anyone, only he was involved). So, now, here I sit...spacey feelings, weird vision, and the shakes. Yes, I do realize that it's okay for me to be upset and a little stressed out, but I don't wanna! (That was my impersonation of a petulant 3 year old! ) I guess that my biggest concern is about my expectation of the trip...not just the car part, but having to sleep in someone else's house, I am barely comfortable sleeping in my own house! And it's not like I can't go, I need to. Not just because I should, but because my son rarely gets to see his grandpa and there will be lots of other family members there that he's never met before. Anyway, I am trying really hard not to freak out, but I am getting really close.I am scared, and I am tired, and I am already worried about being at my brother's house. Yes, they do know about my anxiety, so that helps, but I am still concerned. I am really trying to give myself some positive self-talk , but would sure appreciate some from someone else right now. Thank you very much. Ariana

I forgot to mention one other little stressor, I am acquiring a roommate tomorrow. Could I have a busier couple of days? No, thanks, don't want it.

Sometimes I try to play out how I would want things to go if I felt more confident and in control. My guess is, after it's all said and done, you will be happy that you found the courage to go to the funeral and spend a little time with your relatives. Family is important. It's your history. But go with a plan. A plan for taking care of yourself and not letting others rule your time. Find the most comfortable place to sleep where you are going and be assertive about aquiring it. Whether it's a certain room in the house, the couch, a hotel, or your CAR! You have already sacrifice some comfort to go, so grab any little warm fuzzies you can. If you want to get better at managing your life and having less anxiety when going thru changes(and you've got a LOT right now!) then start now. The way you do things THIS time will set the pattern for how you will do things the rest of your life.
Let us know how it goes.... Tammy

Ariana, I hope you got my phone message and my email, although now you are on the road and probably have no access to a computer. Keep up the positive self-talk and tell yourself how great you will feel when you can practice your skills successfully with this learning opportunity!

I'll be in touch,
Nori