*Lindi*

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Hi Adam, I feel much the same as Mellie, and sometimes when you think about what goes on in this world...that is almost impossible to believe! However, i don't think i'll EVER be enlightened enough to truly comprehend that 'everything in this world is Perfect', which is how one truly enlightened being put it. Your question is a very interesting one, which has come into my mind a million times over the years, because since 1982, i have had a spiritual practice in my life, daily. I've had an ongoing personal relationship (what else can i call it!) with what i choose to call God.(Divine Wisdom, Creative Intelligence, A Force For Good, Divine Guidance, An Unlimited Source of Love.....) And, at the same time, i have struggled with agoraphobia and panic attacks for SO many years. For me, what i refer to as God is not possible to really understand in our terms... though i have had glimpses and have had 'spiritual experiences' which i cannot deny...my own practice in this area is NOT affiliated with any religion. In the act of 'surrender' (or letting-go) of my will (so to speak) alot has changed for me and it is ALWAYS good! With the area of panic and some other die-hard areas in my life, this isn't so easy. But i don't EXPECT God to just take away something which i have to learn to deal with by myself....i can understand that. That expression "God can do for you what you cannot do for yourself" would apply here. There HAVE been things within me that i had no idea HOW to help myself with, in the past...and my 'letting go' of all my failed efforts...allowed something ELSE within me to kind of 'take over'. Felt like Magic! And it always taught me something. With panic attacks, I have to learn HOW to work with it myself, otherwise....if they simply 'disappeared' like magic, then what would i do if they suddenly re-appeared!! I would not have moved forward one inch. Sometimes God SHOWS me where to go, or who to speak with, or what to read or do...in order to help myself. It's truly amazing what happens, when i stop trying to 'manage' something i really can't. That's the act of surrender...something i had to be taught. And then, when i'm 'open' in that way.....all sorts of help seems to appear! It's like opening up to 'synchronicity'. As i understand it....God is PURE LOVE, and this lives WITHIN ME (something we are born with) and ALL AROUND ME. Fear cannot live in this place! They don't belong together. So, it's a struggle, because when i still 'believe' in panic having any power over me, i am....at that time...OUT OF LOVE, rather than being IN LOVE. My belief and hope is that fear dissovles and the struggle will come to an end. Adam, i could go on and on with this subject, but i'll stop right here. Did any of this make sense to you? So...God bless!! Lindi
------------------ Linda
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