I am new to this forum and have not received tapes yet, so am taking a bold step to bring up a topic.
I'm concerned about a friendship of mine. How do I expect less, and what is too much less? I love this friend who has asked me to dinner -as a friend..I think. He tells me he wants to be my friend. It causes me much anxiety since I would, and then would not like more, because having a friend to love, I feel too is a gift. However, I'm anxious about dinner,
unequal caring, feeling rejected, yet surprised he asked me to dinner. My fear is that he will forget, not be there, and I will over react, and feel foolish. All this
anxiety when I do not want to miss being his friend, and want to enjoy his company.
I don't know what to do. How is it possible to feel okay with less in a friendship? at least at this time. I want to be loving,
but anxiety is getting in the way...I don't want to cry in the soup. help.
Kris

Dear Kris,

First of all I think your reading way to much into things. I know this is easier said than done but you need to just "go with the flow" and see what happens. Try to relax as much as possible, enjoy your time with this person as much as you can and LIVE IN THE MOMENT. This is one of the chief principles you will learn in the program. It is very anxiety producing to worry about what may or may not happen in the future. And know that being a little anxous in a situation like this is NORMAL. However it's not necessary to make it worse by "whatif- ing" things to death. Just let it ride, and if for some reason worse comes to worse, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that it will, but if it does you will at least have enjoyed the time you spent together. And know that no matter what happens you are a worth while person and only you can really and truly make yourself happy.

Best of luck with the program (it really is fabulous!)

Mellie

[This message has been edited by mellie (edited 03-27-2001).]

[This message has been edited by mellie (edited 03-27-2001).]

Mellie,

Your reply is soothing. Thank you .
I like the ideas of 'go with the flow' and 'live in the moment.' Sounds wonderful and difficult too. Even today, there are many wonderful things I need to do that I want to experience without feeling concerned about tomorrow. I'm inspired to find poems this morning about living in the day. I can think of a few now by Walt Whitman and e.e. cummings. Thanks again. .
Kris