I just had to post this, as I was so proud of myself for taking such a huge step in my progress towards recovery. I hope that some of you can relate.

Over the weekend I was trying to do too much at once. I had formatted my notebook computer and was in the process of reloaded all of the software onto it, I was burning a CD on my other computer for my Dad, and I was trying to make diner. All of this at the same time. I was running up and down the stairs, trying to stay on top of it all (talk about expectations!). Every time I was upstairs, my father would be calling for me downstairs with a question about diner. I was really getting stressed out and was ready to snap. My father kept asking if he could help, and I told him no. I always have a hard time asking for help, and I always want to do everything myself, as hey, I am the only one who can do it the "right way", right?

Finally, I said to myself, what are you doing? I did ask my dad to help me and he offered to make the mac and cheese (which he always makes runny, as he does not measure out the milk or butter). I then thought, ok, who cares if it doesn't turn out 'perfect'? This is a very small thing in life, and I can't do everything (as much as I would like to believe that). He then asked me if I trusted him to do it, and my response, "no, but I also realize that I can't do it all myself". We both laughed at this.

So, I made three big steps. I asked for help, I realized that I don't always have to be in control, and I also could laugh at myself. No small feat for me.

I hope someone else can at least relate to this. Anyone else have a story like this?

What a good chuckle you gave me. As I was reading this I put myself in the picture and could see me running up and down the stairs and acting like I was in a frenzy. I think that is my imagination putting me where I don't need to go. I do that all the time. I am learning how to say "wait, thats not me! I didn't do that, etc." So, I am getting better at things too. You did great! It is important to see our improvements. LIke you realizing that is doesnt' matter about the mac and cheese. Such a small thing when you look back on it but at the time these things are big to us. As time goes by we learn that small things are indeed small and they really don't matter. When I ask my hubby to do something to help out then I feel guilty for asking but I am getting better about it by telling myself that he is a big boy and can deal with it just fine. And who cares if he doesn't like it. THats his problem. Small steps, one day at a time. Take care! Reena

C o n g r a t u l a t i o n s ! ! ! ! !

Wolf
Great story! What's more important? Connecting with your Dad or mac -n- cheese that isn't runny? And don't say the mac-n-cheese!!!!! You let your dad help you and I suppose he felt good about that. You connected with a laugh. I love that! When you've long forgotten the taste of runny macaroni & cheese, you'll remember the closeness you felt with your father.
I am soooo proud of you. You are living the program! Tammy