I am a little confused by the structure of lesson four. On one hand we are suggested to reduce our anxiety by beginning to challenge our expectations of ourselves and others, which I think is the key to the lesson, and on the other, we are asked 'what do we want our lives to be..goals.' I am still fully challenged with the last lesson and it will be a while before I am confident in dealing with negative self speak. Now wham, another great chance at self evaluation. Define your expectations and are they realistic. I am getting the picture as to how our self imposed belief system is a root cause of our anxiety, but don't feel ready to consider goal setting and life planning at a vulnerable, yet valuable stage. Has anyone noticed this or have any thoughts?

I have noticed this and found Lesson 4 puzzling as well. Goal setting to me seems like it should go at the end or in the middle, but not toward the beginning when we are all trying to figure out and evaluate the way we treat ourselves. Goals are something that get set when one is confidant and ambitious. I agree that this Lesson seems misplaced and noticed it had less of an impact on me than other lessons. I understand it, but was not ready for it i think. maybe going back after several more lessons and listening would be helpful. i don't know if this sheds any light other than i too thought the placement of the lesson was strange.

Hi-Lesson 4 is about examing your belief system as for some alot of anxiety comes from expectations as it did me. First I looked at where my beliefs came from-from family, from friends and from life's experiences. Then I decided which were only mine.Also this lesson teaches us about the very important should word like when you should on others that can produce alot of anger and frustration and when you should on yourself that can produce anger and guilt within. Many of us in our beliefs attach an outcome and when we do that we set ourselves up for failure and then comes the anxiety or anger or guilt or frustration. Give yourself credit for doing whatever it is and go no further like I am going on a trip the hotel and plane is booked. Maybee everything will go smooth on your trip and maybee it will not. If you expect the plane to be on schedule it could be late, if you expect great weather you could be wrong, if you expect a super room you could be wrong.So now when I am going on a trip I just stay in the present and deal with the now which is living in the precious present moment.Yes we have expectations but we need to ask ourselves if the expectations are realistic cause the only true control we have in life is over our thoughts. This is a powerful lesson for anxiety suffers like Lesson 3 and I am just touching on a bit of it here to give you a different perspective.See what I found is that there are so many new coping skills in the program to learn so it takes time but if your awareness of what you are doing wrong with the thinking habits is there then you can learn to change your way of thinking. Best of luck on your journey to recovery-Timber

Peacewithin, thanks. I am encouraged to know that I am not alone in this placement puzzlement. I will be reviewing this session down the road and think it will be more applicable at that time. Timber, I agree that the lesson is primarily directed to examining belief systems, and I think your example of taking a trip as being symbolic of our life journey was good, The lessons learned in travel do apply to how we respond to expectations and disappointments in the course of our days. Again I will be working forward in the program and my confusion about the 'goals' part most likely will be addressed. Thanks again for taking the time to offer your views.