I have the most unreal expectations. I find myself back in school working on yet another degree (this time in nursing). At the moment I'm taking pre-req courses so I can apply to a nursing program. On the first day of class the instructor said, "If you get less than an A in this class, I would urge you to reconsider your decision to go into the medical field". Talk about pressure! I currently have a 95% b/t the lab and lecture (Anatomy and Physiology), but it's not good enough in my mind. I should say that the class average is a 72%, so I'm well up there. In spite of this, I kill myself each day striving for perfection. First, I do this b/c I want to get into a nursing program (as I'm told daily that the competition is fierce). And second, I just have it in mind that less than an A was a waste of my time. This ridiculous pressure is killing me.

Can anyone relate to this?

I can totally relate, as I think I must be PERFECT in everything I set out to do. A few years ago I got a grade of like 98% on a psych test and it all but killed me. I was so disappointed in myself because I knew I studied hard and did my very best. I even withdrew from the class. Pretty ridiculous, eh? I'm the same way with my art. Sometimes I think something is just crap, but you know, I've decided that my idea of crap is another's idea of Picasso, so who cares? As long as I know I did my best.

In the end it comes down to allow yourself to be human. No one is 100% 24-7. I dare say anyone is 100% 2 days out of the week. And it's OK not to be.

So I guess you could ask yourself, why is less than an A (especially if you're looking at a high B or A-)a waste of time? Is this some sort of unreal expectation you've imposed on yourself? Did ya get it from your folks? There is a difference between doing your best and creating torture out of performance.

I think you're on the right track and it sounds like you're going to do great. I have a good friend who is super smart and graduated from the RN program last year and she did NOT have a complete set of A's to go along with it. And I must say that she is a FABULOUS nurse!

If this is what you really desire, you'll make it. But don't burn yourself out in the meantime.

Mike you are reaching for something that is IMPOSSIBLE and with that I mean Perfection -- there is no such thing as being perfect so if you set your goals for something that is not possible you will make yourself feel like a failure-- because you will never feel like you are good enough.

You go out and do the best that you can do -- that is all that can be expected of anyone. If you get low score because you didn't bother to study for a test then yes you need to be aware of that and try harder and do better next time. But if you have put your all into it and done that best you can --- then that has got to be your sense of "perfection".

Best of Luck to you!

Mike,
I would just like to say, Any instructor that would tell you something like that, is a dumb ass!!
Most of the time the reason an instructor is an instructor is because, THEY THEMSELVES couldnt make the grade to do whatever it was they went to school for.

Stop beating yourself UP!!! There is no reason you should be worried, if you are 95%.
Thats an "A". Which is more than likely better than your instructor can do... Take care Nelly

quote:

I currently have a 95% b/t the lab and lecture (Anatomy and Physiology), but it's not good enough in my mind

Whether you have a 90 average or a 99 average between class and lab your grade at the end of the semester is going to be an A of which you will receive 4*3 = 12 points for that class. So, why would you reason that a 95 or a 90 is not good enough? And at what time did you assign a God like power to your professor, making him God, all seeing and all knowing? Just some thoughts to consider.

quote:

This ridiculous pressure is killing me.

Sounds like you are killing you. We need positive motivation within us to deal with the external pressure. Saying, "I MUST", "I HAVE TO" rather than "I WANT TO" are negative motivations which add internal stress to the external stress. No one "MUST" do anything. You need to reprogram your thinking so that you are trying to do your best, not seek perfection. The program can help with this if you can give it the time it requires to get your expectations lowered.

As Nelly has said,

quote:

Stop beating yourself UP!!!

Negative thoughts of fearing failure are eating at you. [negative motivation] This needs to be turned around so that you are believing you are capable of achieving your goal [positive motivation]. It makes all the difference in the world. One motivation is out of fear the other is out of a positive desire to achieve.

Dear Luckyme,

How do you feel when you think about not getting the oerfect mark or not getting into the nursing program ? I imagine that you are a very hard worker and have accomplished a lot.

I am not sure if this is your issue : but i just want to say that you matter , you are a worthwhile hman being...regardless of any degrees you hold or your accomplishments. Taking that out of the equation and going after something because you enjoy it or think that that nursing is your way of contributing your gifts to the world would allow you to enjoy life , and the path of getting to be a nurse. You are i suspect more than good enough !!

Cheers,
Maya2007

Luckyme, I just read your post and I think any teacher who puts a class under that kind of stress shouldn't be in the profession. But, from my own experience with certain professors, I can certainly relate. Maybe some students thrive under the pressure? I have yet to meet one Anyway, I wanted to say that yes you need to learn as much and as well as you can, but what really matters is the quality of your nursing once you're in the field. I guarantee you there are some C average students who went on to become wonderful nurses. You can be highly skilled in many ways and not be a great test-taker.( Sounds like you're managing just fine in that department though.) I killed myself to maintain a 4.0 in college, I was a psychology major, but didn't further my education because it just wasn't my "calling." I had a friend who struggled with essays and tests but had this gift of helping people through her gentle, empathetic nature. She was meant to be a therapist regardless of her report card dotted with C's. She may have not gotten into the graduate program of her dreams, but things worked out just the way they were supposed to and she's doing just fine, as will you.

I too have the "perfectionist gene" and when you think of the competition it seems overwhelming. (Other students are probably intimidated by you But I truly believe if nursing is your calling it will come to fruition. Try and enjoy the learning without focusing on the grade, I know it's not easy. And, remember your instructor is not God.

One book you might consider reading, "When Perfect Isn't Good Enough". Carolyn Dickman recommended this a while back. I have yet to acquire it but I will eventually. It's for perfectionists. Here's the link. You can read an excerpt.

http://www.amazon.com/When-Perfect-Isnt-Good-Enough/dp/...id=1180756604&sr=1-1

Lucky,


They do that to help you get the experience of being under pressure.Nursing is pressure almost all of the time.I've been a nurse for 16 years or more and am tired of all the compulsive behavior associated with the field as well as all the nurses being paranoid about law suites.If you are not yet ,I would do some nurses assistant work in the hospital to see if you like it.There are good things about nursing,but if I made a list of pro's and con's the con's side would win.I've spoke to very few nurses that are happy with the direction the field is going these days.Most I've spoken with are running to some out of practice related nursing tasks,meaning not hands on nursing.Myself I've had enough.Nursing school and the instructors as well a magazines only give the pretty side of a profession going down hill in my view.Being short staffed all the time is a hard way to work.There's not a shortage of nurses.They will not put out the money for ancillary staff and they tell you to work harder and it will get better.In nursing it never does.Talking from experience 3 nurses in the family.


Best to you!!

Ask your instructor to give 95 % on the floor of a hospital,see how he or she handles it !!!!!!

http://www.nurse.com/



Go to this web site above the chat room and see all the complaining going on.It's the same all over the country !!!!

Thanks for all your responses.

Sit-N-Spin, I'm not sure what to think now. I get the impression I'm training for a time bomb. To be honest though, I never really saw myself as a hands-on nurse. I'd like to use this training to get into medical device sales or device testing. Is this just as bad?

dont beat yourself up. you inspire me.

I'm not sure about that field sounds interesting,but most places of any type want to see 2 years clinical experience.That you can do at a hospital.You may have to get more than an 2 or 4 year degree,find out ok?Just would not like to see you get caught up in the hands on work and the institutions not give you the help you need and tell you to do the impossible.Frustrating!!!I would do some investigation into the field you are planning to go into.Search the web and even find someone doing the same type of work.See if the field is viable or not.Got to remember that these days all types of work are changing,some for the good and some for the worst.Changes in the market place.

Hope this helps