I know I'm not the only one who has extreme expectations of themselves so I hope someone can help me. I never think I'm doing enough, I always do twice as much as others, but I have a hard time letting myself off the hook.

It's real hard for me to ask for help, that's of course one of those things I expect of myself, being self sufficient.

Can anyone help please!!

Hi Ramona
I have the same problem..sorry I can't provide an answer. I know what I should and need to do but I can't ask for the help- it feels like a sign of weakness. Can't wait to read some of the other replies..take care jen

RomonaIA & JenniferL,
I have high expectations to but I do ask for help, if needed. I guess you just have to realize that it's not a weakness. You can do it just try starting a little at a time. You can do it!! You need to believe in yourself that you can do it. Good luck! Let me know how you are doing. I would love to hear from you.

I also now how you feel. My husband gets on me all the time. He says it has something to do with mah pride....?

Ramona,
Wow , can I relate to this one! We all can, all of us who have experienced a great deal of anxiety, or still do.

Welcome to the club of control freaks! Please don't take that in the wrong way. Hugs.
With anxiety, we feel the need to control our immediate surroundings and it's really tough to let go of this. But you can and will. Slowly, but surely.
You'll find that quite a few of the sessions in the program refer to this in one way or another.

What comes into play here is expectations of yourself and others, low self esteem, lots of "what if" thinking, guilt, worry, and anger.
The anger is usually the kind we inflict on ourselves because of that ridiculous need to try to do everything "perfect" or just expecting way too much of ourselves.
Ever feel like you don't have the ability to "cut yourself some slack" ?
Feel like being "self sufficient" means that if you don't accomplish things like superwoman would that you haven't done enough?
That if you ask for help it's a sign of weakness or that maybe it won't be done exactly as you would have done it and then you just end up getting frustrated?
Think that it's too much to ask of someone else to help because they have so much to do already and besides you think you "should" do it?
Don't have the patience to wait for someone else to do it ( you know, a few minutes or maybe longer)because you feel that it needs to get done "right now" ? Or, oh my goodness it would be awful if someone else thought that you weren't the incredible, hard working, constantly reliable one of the bunch?

Believe it or not, as you start to think better of yourself and really love you, as an imperfect human being, but lovable and strong and capable anyway - these expectations and self imposed "shoulds" also start to diminish.
It just keeps getting better and better, the more you work hard at getting rid of all those nasty negatives, and learn these wonderful coping skills in the program.
I became disabled almost 8 years ago and my goodness, - what a frustration it was for me to physically not be able to be supermom any more. Add tons of panic attacks, lots of anxiety and some depression into the mixture.
Putting it mildly, I got to be a pro at beating myself up for not being able to run around at 90 miles an hour. Although, You'd be amazed at how much I could get done even through 4 major surgeries! But the pain I caused myself emotionally and physically was not worth it.

Thank God for this program. Now I'm a pro at delegating, and much happier and healthier.

I hope this helps some and oh my gosh, just realized I got sort of long winded there.
Life, always a learning experience.
God bless and hugs to you.

CindyLou, you are always an inspiration!! I know what I'm doing is just being a control freak, I have been trying real hard lately to cut myself some slack. I'll get there.

Everyone, thank you for your replies. You don't have to give me a solution to be of help, thank you.

I'm going to try real hard this weekend to make sure and take some 'me' time and not push myself to exhaustion like I ususally do on the weekends.

Everyone have a great weekend!!

Just a thought, reward yourself for trying. I bought a motorcycle when I decided to address the issue of an encounter with a man who wasn't very nice to me as a small kid. I took a motorcycle safety class upon the recommendation of my brother, passed, and I love it. Reward yourself for the effort, Peace, Nick

Hi, I have been in the program for 6 weeks now for panic while driving. I am from the San Francisco Bay Area and I am a fairly high achiever as are other members of my family. Doing everything and not wanting to ask anyone for help is more how I use to be until I really thought about it. As I have gotten older I ask myself, What am I trying to prove and to whom? What is all so important about "doing it ALL myself?" It is almost as if I am trying to prove to myself and others that Look I can do all this. I see younger women out here in the Bay Area and WOW WORKAHOLICS is an understatement. They want to achieve, achieve, achieve. There isn't anything wrong with wanting to do things, but one should enjoy the process and not always think that you are less than, or somehow weaker when needing help. Plus, some things might just be more fun with someone else helping out. That other person might gain something from the experience of helping you. Anyway, the control thing can also be harmful. What's the big deal in letting someone else take the reins? It is sometimes "refreshing" to do something you're not use to doing anyway. So try letting someone else help sometimes instead of trying to always do it all yourself. You don't have anything to lose. Good Luck!