Ok, here it goes...I have had anxiety for nearly 20 years and for awhile i was on meds. After i had my daughter 6 yrs ago i began to have scary thoughts about hurting her so bad where i was scared to be in the house alone with her.(this began after i had seen the Yates woman on the news and a few other woman killing there kids) i got on meds and things seemed to get a little better, or should i say i just learned to Cope with it. After awhile I began to drink alcohol alot, basically how i used to before i found out i was pregnant, which was a few times a week and basically binge drinking. My anxiety got super bad the day after i would drink and i would get those scary thoughts that i was going to loose my mind and hurt my little girl or myself or anyone around basically. I would never harm a fly let alone my baby or ANYONE! So i have been on meds and drinking for the past 5 years. A few months ago i found out i was pregnant again, kind of unexpected but we are very happy about it. I completely stopped drinking and stopped taking the meds (lexapro by the way) thinking i was going to be so happy, finally! No drinking, no meds, an awesome 6 yr old, amazing boyfriend, new house, secure jobs and now a bundle of joy on the way. I thought for sure the scary thoughts would go away and for awhile they did for the most part but it seems lately when i realize how happy my life finally is and how things are going so smoothly i have been getting those god aweful thoughts AGAIN! Basically for no reason! So of course now i am totally obsessed over Why?. Any words of any kind would be amazing. Thanks. Teasha!!

teasha,

I too had scary thoughts that started right around the time the Yates story was on the news. That was around the same time of Sept.11th too I think.

I had scary thoughts REAL bad. The same thoughts you had. If you have the obsessive scary thought tape, then I would highly suggest you listen to it over and over again.

Try not to push thoughts out of your head, it will only make them push back harder. The thoughts are a result of a tired mind!!! They are nothing but the product of anxiety - your mind thinks all sorts of random thoughts. Everyone gets them.... only not everyone dwells on them and picks them apart like anxiety people do.

What you need to do tell yourself the truth....
and also repicture your scary thoughts to more truthful thoughts.

The FACT is.... if you were really losing your mind, it wouldn't bother you. You are freaked out because you are too sensitive to your thoughts. It's a scientific fact that you can change your brain chemistry by what you tell yourself. So if you are off your meds and not using alcohol, I would highly encourage you to use the program and focus 100% on telling yourself the truth.

The mind/body connection is so connected. The body feels what the mind tells it and when the body FEELS fear, it reinforces those beliefs.
In order to be healthy, you need to bring your mind and body into balance with eachother.
Therefore, do things with your body that will induce relaxation ( vigorous exercise, hot baths, massage....) and with your mind you also do things that induce relaxation such as positive thought replacement, medidation, Progressive muscle relaxation exercises.

Keep working hard at being healthy and stop focusing so much on the "why?".....

Thank you! I actually wrote u a very long reply and it did not post??? I have thought about taking a yoga class or getting a massage to ease my mind and the tension. I also do have the tapes, i bought them back in 2000 and the ossesive scarey thought tape is so warped from listening to it so much i can't even understand it!! lol Thanks again for ur words it always helps to be able to open up to people without being judged. Have a good night! Teasha

Teasha,
Bummer about your tapes!!! When I ordered my tapes almost 6 years ago.... I had my husband convert them into MP3 files for my computer.
I was not about to spend all that money and have them not work anymore. Tapes are just not as reliable. Maybe the Stresscenter would consider replacing that tape for you if you mailed it to them? It might be worth contacting them to see! Wish you well !