I've tried to explain to my boyfriend what anxiety is really like and what he can do to help me get through an anxiety attack. I had an anxiety attack a few nights ago when we were getting ready to go to bed. It wasn't a really bad one compared to others I have had..my body just kind of froze and i got this rush of anxiety and started to cry. I didn't know what had caused this attack and my boyfriend kept telling me to stop it. I know his intentions were good and he was just trying to help me feel better but it made me feel so much worse. After the attack passed i tried to tell him what he could do next time to make me feel better..i suggested to rub my back and just keep telling me that its going to be okay. His response was that it was a lot to ask of someone to sit there with you and not be able to help you. I felt very hurt by this comment and I felt very alone with my anxiety because the one person i need to be there for me isn't. Am i overreacting about this situation or has anyone else had problems trying to explain to others what happens to you when you get an anxiety attack?

You are not alone. My EX use to tell me to just get over it and he would make comments that "I was crazy" because of them. Least to say, we are no longer together.
My boyfriend now is great. He has gone through depression and mild anxiety, so he kind of understands. He does get frustrated at times because "he can't fix it." I keep telling him that it's not his job to fix me, just understand and love me...so he does.

I have been with my husband for 20 years, have had panic on and off the whole time................., and he does not get it. I am convinced that this is genetic and some people will never get it; no maatter what. I have tried everything to make him understand, and he doesn't. I wouldn't wish this on him but sometimes it would be nice to feel that they did understand. Good luck~

MARIE87, I SUGGEST FILLING OUT THE PERSONAL ASSESSMENT TOOL ON THE WEBSITE, PRINT OUT THE DATA THAT COMES AFTER YOU COMPLETE IT AND GIVE IT TO YOU BOYFRIEND TO READ. I DID THIS WITH MY HUSBAND LAST NIGHT BECAUSE I FELT ALONE AND NOT UNDERSTOOD. THE PROFILE PRETTY MUCH NAILED DOWN ME AND WHAT I WAS GOING THROUGH AND HOPEFULLY BY SHARING THAT INFORMATION IT WILL HELP THEM UNDERSTAND THE EMOTIONAL TORTURE WE FACE EVERYDAY. USUALLY WHEN YOUR DEALING WITH A GUY THE INFO IS PERCEIVED BETTER WHEN IT IS COMING FROM SOMEONE ELSE. TRY IT, I JUST TOLD MY HUSBAND TO PLEASE READ IT AND NOT SCAN IT BEACASUE I NEEDED HIM TO HEAR EVERY WORD AND HE DID. LET ME KNOW HOW IT GOES IF YOU DECIDE. GOOD LUCK

I wrote an interesting article on the OCD forum under "sexual obsessions... anyone else? Please read this article and maybe we will all understand that if you have not gone through something, you have not a clue to understand!! Marie87 please make your boyfriend read my article. If he doesn't get it after that, use your best judgement. I'm 36 and still single, and it's ok that I have not met my wife yet. I don't need to have someone just to have someone because I'm lonely! I'd rather be alone and lonely than have someone and be miserable and still be lonely! Maybe he just needs a wake up call, a little more patience from you and help to understand this anxiety stuff. Maybe he has had plenty of time and education on this matter and it's time for this wake up call to be goodbye. That's for you and only you to decide! Have a good week, ciao David

My husband WAS there to help, but he stated that is was alot for him to see me suffer as I did and him not being able to make it stop, to make it go away. He was there though and I know it hurt him to see me suffer. I remember when he had shingles several years back. He was only 42! This condition was very painful, even the act of driving, hitting small bumps was painful for him. I hated to see him suffer so and wanted to help, but all I could do is be there, watching him in pain. That hurt me alot, I could feel his pain; it hurt me to have him hurt. Maybe this is what your boyfriend meant. I hope you are feeling better.

Marie,
I am sorry to hear you feel so alone in this struggle of anxiety. You are NOT alone, you are in good company.
I am married to a great guy who sometimes was there for me during times of axiety and sometimes he wasn't.
In the program (I don't remember what session) Lucida talks about being our own "safe
person". I have found this to be so helpful. I would look to my husband for comfort, safety, and understanding during my anxiety attacks. It wasn't until I understood and accepted that he really could not make it better for me that I started to look to myself, and in turn began healing. Be careful of the expectations you have for your boyfriend. You have the power, with the help of this program to get yourself through this. You are a strong person... you have to be to go through the axiety! Keep working it!
Good luck to you,
Stacy D

I agree with Stacy D. I have a husband who has been a mountain of support to me over the years, but even his well can run dry at times. He's not there at every moment for me with the kind of comfort and understanding that I think I need. This program, with God's help, is letting me see the strength that can come from within our own souls. Our husband/boyfriend is not always available with answers, and as hard as they try, they're not going to fill the void that only we can decide to fill. I just started reading "The Confident Woman" by Joyce Meyer, and do I ever need it. Best wishes.
Karen