I just finished listening to Less 4 for the second time and doing my workbook. As I was listening to some of the expectations and extremely high standards we set for ourselves and others I just had to share some that came to my mind about myself.

After my girls make their beds in the a.m. I remake them after they go to school. After my husband makes our bed, I remake it and accuse him of doing a bad job so he isn't asked to help again. After my family puts away the groceries, I go into the pantry and rearrange everything into categories. The list goes on and on. No wonder I am a anxious person with that kind of pressure on myself!

Anyway, I liked the ideas of this lesson but am feeling a little more anxious this week. Seem to have more time to think and some of my negative thoughts start to creep in, like why am I breathing so hard or so fast, or why is my heart beating so fast. I try to step in and do the positive self talk but find I'm not catching myself as early as I was last week. Is this unusual to kind of take a step back? Or am I just overanalyzing? Hard to believe I would do that! lol

Thanks for any advice! Carrie

Dear sleepyby9,
The way you are feeling is not unusual at all!
Recovery is always "one step forward, two steps back."

Keep that tablet handy to write down those negative thoughts AND replace them with a positive one! What helps me is the second I start thinking negative, I put up the STOP sign and breath.

You're doing great!
2-4,
Diane Forgive me for being so tired when I first replied and had the recovery steps wrong


[This message has been edited by dl (edited 11-30-2001).]

I'm feeling more anxious this week too...I thought I was going so great after week 3 and this week 4 is going so badly I think I'm going to start over. I too feel like I took a huge step back. I'm worrying a lot this week about something I have to deal with next week. I've ruined this week by worrying! I got a horrible migraine yesterday and I know it's from some new additional stressors I have right now. I've listened to the tape 3 times but haven't started my lesson in the workbook yet. I feel like I've lost my motivation. I'm not catching myself as well as I was last week as well.

Makes me wonder if this is a "normal" place to be during this weeks lesson.

Brie, Maybe this is the week Lucinda talks about in her book when her anxiety actually got worse before it got better. We are beginning to understand it so much more, so maybe it manifests itself in other ways as well as being more intense? Just an idea. Yesterday was not good but we had to take my husband to a neurology appt. an hour away. Today it seems more manageable. I also started reading the book The Power of Positive Thinking. That gave me some good ideas. Hope your week gets better. I did review tape 2 and that seemed to remind me of what I need to keep doing as far as recognizing the early stressors and negative self talk. Let's keep each other posted since we seem to have so much in common!

God Bless You,
Carrie

You know, I listened to tape 2 again as well as tape 3 again. Seemed to remind me as well as give me more motivation. I finished the lesson in the book. I'm reading Lucinda's book, "From Panic to Power" and a book by Stormie Omartian called, "Just enough light for the step I'm On". I read a lot of Christian books and the next one in line is one by Dr. Cloud, "Changes that Heal". I have another of his books, "Boundries", but I can never seem to get through it. Boundries are really hard for me.

I'm kind of stressed about the appointments I have to go to tomorrow for Workman's Comp. They send you to "their" doctors and the appointment is 2 1/2 hours away and I have to go over the mountain pass. What stresses me about that is the fact that there was snow and ice up there last week and another big storm system is coming in today. I've been praying for rain only! I have a hard enough time going over that pass, but no way do I drive on snow and ice! Plus I have to leave at 7am, but if there is snow I'd have to leave much earlier. It's been eating at me all week and I've been so mad at myself for stressing over something I can't change and basically ruining my whole week by worrying. I know better, but when too much stress is happening at once I have a hard time with the worrying. I do feel a bit better today. I just want to get it over with and get there and back safely.

I'm going to start lesson 5 on Monday. Yuck! That's gonna be a hard one for me! When are you starting lesson 5?

Well, thanks for writing back. It's nice to know I'm not alone in this!

Love, Brie.

Brie, I'm starting Lesson 5 on Monday, too. We must be on the same schedule. My anxiety is definitely worse today though I still did the things I wanted to do - went to church, grocery shopping and to Harry Potter. I am now totally drained! I'm wondering if some of my increase in symptoms is also from lack of sunshine. We haven't had sun in almost two weeks. Makes me think. I also read Lucinda's book, Panic to Power. I am now reading The Power of Positive Thinking (can't hurt). I also just finished Your Erroneous Zones. Sometimes I wonder if you can overdo it? Take care of yourself and I'll be praying for no snow for you!
Carrie

Thanks for the prayer! Snow mixture started on my way home, but the roads were still clear! I was sooooo full of anxiety yesterday and then I made the mistake of calling my dad for his birthday. He got very abusive towards me and I was crying so hard by the time I got off the phone. None of the other kids bother with him on his birthday...but stupid me. It just really increased the anxiety I had anyway. I have a major problem with boundries...especially when it comes to him.

The appointments today were horrible and I'm just so very thankful that the day is over. I just listened to tape 5. I was almost totally weaned off of coffee and then I had a new medication added that made me so tired, so I've gradually been drinking more coffee. I'm up to half & half. Plus I put sugar in it. And I smoke. This is definitely going to be a difficult weeks lesson! No wonder I feel so crummy. I don't eat all day until dinner. I live on coffee and cigarettes. And I developed irritable bowel syndrome several months ago. I guess I'll start with weaning myself back off the coffee. I have battled the smoking for years and there is always some excuse. I've got to quit, however. I'm 40 and have smoked since I was 17. I'm up to two packs/day. I just finished a class at our hospital for quitting smoking and I didn't quit when we were supposed to. I've been dreading today for so long and now that it's over I think I'll be brave and put on a smoking patch on Saturday. I quit that way once before and I stayed stopped for 9 months. That has been the hardest thing for me to change in my life.

I only recently started exercising (when the program first brought it up) and that's going to take awhile for me to get in a real habit of doing. I'm too lazy and tired all the time. Do you exercise?

Well, thanks for writing back. It's nice to be on the same schedule as someone else. Brie.