Hey, ya'll! I need a little help on this lesson. I've realized I have ridiculously high expectations, but there are situations where I find it hard to use the skills and under-react to what's happening.
Example: Today I had to go to an eye doctor appointment an hour away from where I live. I've always had some anxiety with doctor's appointments 'cause I have difficulty telling which lens is worse, better, or about the same. The problem was that he had my eyes dilated and left me sitting in the office for about 45 minutes to an hour when he'd told me he'd be back in 5 minutes. I got frustrated because I couldn't see without my glasses and I expected the doctor to come back in the time period he said. I kept thinking, "Why'd he say five minutes if it was going to be longer?" and similar things. Guess being drowsy from drops in my eyes didn't help. Oh, well. Just needed to vent. Thanks for listening; maybe someone could give me a clue on handling these types of "waiting" situations better.

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Lynn
God is in control.
Footprints quote-"When you only see one pair of footprints in the sand, it was then that I carried you."
Remember you'll never walk alone.

Hi lynn,

I used to feel that way at the dentist office, like when my appointment is at 4:30 and I sit there until 5:30 waiting for them to come get me. I hate that.

What helps me is to try and understand that even though you are there and waiting during your appointment, that doctors normally take care of other patients at the same time. So, if he says "5 minutes" and isn't back in say 15 minutes, maybe he was hung up with another patient, or there was a complication with someone or something. I do feel that 45 minutes is a little to long to wait, especially if you were already into the appointment. I wouldn't sweat it, right now, unless you have to keep going back. Then I would suggest waiting and seeing if it happens again and mentioning something to him when he returns after 45 minutes, or whatever you consider to be too long. And try to remember that in this day and age, when someone, including doctors, say "5 minutes" it doesn't really mean 5 minutes. It could be 10 or 15. It's just like "I'll be back in a few", or "I'll see you in a bit", it is just a saying and, it really doesn't have a specific time frame attached to it. I realy think he was just held up with something, so don't sweat it.


Hope it helps,

Sincerly,

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Steve

YOu could always make it to the door and find out what is taking so long. I don't think they should let anyone sit there and wait for that long. I think it is rude. I know they may have an emergency but they can still let you know. Part of being assertive is not sitting somewhere and feelinglike a victim. Ask questions. It doesnt have be done in a rude way, just ask whats going on. My time is just as important as their time. But it is a good time to use humor toget thru it or practice patience. The thing we are trying to learn is how to deal with a situation without our allowing it to become stressful. I have certain expectations as well. THe expectation to be treated respectfully.
Reena

Hi, Steve L and Reena,
Thanks for responding. Steve, you're right about "I'll be back in five minutes" being just a saying. We all do it. And I did hear the eye doctor talking to other patients while I was waiting. Part of the reason I had to sit there was because my eyes were being dilated, and he had to check other things after they were completely dilated. I guess I've always had problems with doctor's appointments, but I realize now that if I'd used my breathing exercises or prayed a rosary or even just rested my eyes, I wouldn't have gotten so frustrated.
Reena, thanks for the reminder that we all deserve to be treated respectfully. I didn't even think to go ask someone going by what was taking so long. I mean, I was an hour away from home, and my dad was in the waiting area not knowing what was going on. My appointment was at 2pm; we got there around 2:20pm because we got started late. We didn't leave Alexandria until 5pm and got home til 6pm. Lately, I haven't been feeling physically well (possibly a sinus infection) and during those times it's harder for me to remember that my time is just as important as anyone else's. Thanks again for the reminder.
I am beginning to learn not to put such high expectations on my family. For example, I ordered a dresser from Lowe's and it came Thursday afternoon. I bugged my dad several times after he got home to put it together; he got started at 6pm, but had only got the frame and two drawers together when he left to get Mom from work around 8:30pm. Friday he slept until just before we left for my eye appointment, and then when we got home, he was not feeling well (fever over 100), so when Mom got home they went to the emergency room. They got home at 11pm; Dad has sinusitis. I finally realized that the dresser doesn't have to be finished "right away" especially when the person putting it together is sick. I've had sinusitis a million times, so I know what it's like. Last night, I told my dad I'm sorry for nagging him about the dresser. It can wait til he feels better since he's the only one around here who knows how to put it together.
Well, I guess I should quit rambling. Talk to ya'll later.

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Lynn
God is in control.
Footprints quote-"When you only see one pair of footprints in the sand, it was then that I carried you."
Remember you'll never walk alone.

MMP,

Waiting is just one of those things that is just part of life. Sometimes it can be quite tiresome, but what are we to do? Just live with it I guess. I hope your next visit is, well, less time consuming. I hope venting helped you feel better, sometimes it is all we can do.

take care
tulip

Hey, tulip!
Thanks for the reminder. I guess with certain things (like doctor's visits) it's harder for me to wait, but I'm beginning to learn. Taking something to read or work on helps. Going to the eye doctor is kind of hard 'cause I've been doing it almost every year since I was 7. Guess I have yet to accept that God made my eyes different and I need glasses to see, but thankfully they haven't changed much in the past few years. Maybe they'll start stabilizing; that'd be . Anyway, like you said, waiting is a part of life, and once you learn it for one area, you have to start learning it again for another area of your life. Talk to ya later.

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Lynn
God is in control.
Footprints quote-"When you only see one pair of footprints in the sand, it was then that I carried you."
Remember you'll never walk alone.