I just recently found out that my husband and I are expecting our second baby. I am really excited, but have been finding myself worrying about the delivery day already. I won't go into all the details of my first delivery, but lets just say it is not something I wish to repeat.

I have already had an eventful past few months, and now it is obvious that the next year is going to be eventful as well.

So here is the deal. I am quite frankly amazed at how I keep myself in this cycle of worry and what-if thinking. I wish I could get myself out of this rut quickly and move along to better thinking etc... (I have recovered before, but never 100%) unfortunately I feel like my mind is a record playing that has a deep scratch in it... play, scratch, repeat...

At this time in my life, I find myself wondering... How can I not have expectations? (about the birth, having another baby, living away from family etc.) What really stinks is that I had been on Paxil 20mg for about 3 months and got pregnant on it (not planned but still very much wanted)... so I am trying to not worry about that as well. I did visit my Psyciatrist and we discussed the Paxil and the effects it could have on the baby. She was very reassuring and said that because I did quit it (cold turkey too) and because I found out I was pregnant very early on, that there shouldn't be a problem. But if I had any concerns to discuss it with my OBGYN when I had my first appointment.

Unfortunately my first appointment is not until January 23rd. So I guess some of my questions and worries won't be addressed for another few weeks.

Anyways, sorry for my rambling. If you all would please keep me in your prayers, I would really appreciate it.

Carrie

Carrie,
Congratulations!!! I know the second one will be as precious as the first one. Of course you have expectations carrie, nothing wrong with that. But, worry isnt expectation, its stress. No two pregnancys are alike either. If you have questions i agree with your psych, talk to your obgyn. But,dont start worrying or anticipating till you have all the facts!!! remember?? Im so glad to see you post, havent seen you in awhile and think of you often, your in my prayers!! God Bless youNelly

Carrie,

First of all, congratulations on your pregnancy! I have a six-year-old son, an only child, and I truly regret not having had another one. My anxiety was the main reason we decided not to have any more, and now that I have learned how to control my fears, I wish we had just gone ahead and tried for a second child. My son begs almost daily for siblings, and it is heartbreaking to hear.

I took Prozac throughout my pregnancy, and my son turned out fine. I think with a lot of medications, the manufacturers simply don't know if it could harm a fetus or not, so they err on the side of caution when they tell us to avoid them; I'm sure it's all part of covering their you-know-whats.

As for worrying about the pregnancy and birth, I would recommend writing down your fears and countering them with positive statements. Worrying is not going to change a thing, so give yourself permission to stop those negative thoughts and start thinking positive. If a challenge crops up, deal with it then; but don't waste time worrying needlessly over something you can't control. Maybe your first labor & delivery weren't what you expected, but you got through it, didn't you? And you can do it again. Maybe your doctor will let you schedule a planned C-section, if this would make you feel more in control and eliminate your fear of a long labor and delivery.

Wishing you the best of luck!

Jen

One thing to remember about babies is that while they are in the womb, they are so well protected. There has to be something super extreme for it to affect the baby, because the placenta is so good at filtering most stuff out. I am speaking from personal experience. To make a long story short, I awoke in a condo full of carbon monoxide while I was in my first trimester of pregnancy. I almost didn't wake up, and was sent directly to the hospital, where I was on oxygen all day. They were frantically trying to hear a fetal heartbeat, and it was very difficult since it was so early on...but finally they did an ultrasound, and she was ok. Four years later, my daughter is perfectly fine and actually ahead developmentally. So just know your precious love is safe there in his/her little cocoon.

and congratulations!
rebecca

Hi CalebsMom,

I just wrote you this big, long post, then I hit the wrong key and POOF! It was gone.

The jist of it, though, was that being pregnant is one of the most wonderful times you will ever experience. Every day you think about the life growing inside of you. Don't worry too much about the baby - like becca said, the placenta is a remarkable barrier.

Just focus on the rest of your pregnancy, take your vitamins, try to keep your health up and RELAX - you're going to bring a beautiful child into this world, and there is NOTHING better than that.

Bless you and your baby -

TL

Thank you ladies so much for giving me specific examples of how your little ones ended up just fine. I appreciate that. It does give me some peace about everything right now.

I'll let you all know how the doctors appointment goes, see what the doctor says.

Thank you all so much for taking the time to respond!

Carrie

ps Nelly it was good to see you on here as well. Talk to you soon.

Ok, well I made it through the doctors appointment and the blood work alright. I of course worked myself up starting about 3 days away from my appointment though.

I really hate it when I do that. I get worried for nothing and then go to the appointment and am so nervous I can't pay attention to what the Mid-Wife is saying to me. Oh well. To me the 2nd worst part of this pregnancy is over. The intial exam. (I can't stand pap-smears and blood work)

Since I was so nervous I forgot to ask the doctor if he had any concerns about me being on the Paxil at the beginning of the pregnancy. But he saw it on my chart and didn't say too much about it, so I guess its not that big of a deal.

I am actually looking forward to my next appointment, I get to hear the baby's heartbeat. At least I know from my first pregnancy, that the appointments from here on out aren't too stressful.

If there are any other ladies on the forum who are pregnant, leave a post and maybe we can encourage each other together.

Carrie

I am not pregnant, but constantly think about it. I am an only child and I have one beautiful daughter. My husband comes from a family of 14, so has not idea what it is like to be an only child. He is fine with having just one. I, on the other hand, am constantly going back and forth on whether to have another one. This is causing me much anxiety because I'm 37 and time is running short. I do not know if I can handle it personally, with working full time and really not having a supportive husband, as far as child rearing goes. Can anyone give me any thoughts about what they were going thru when thinking about having another baby? If I can get past this, I feel some anxiety can leave my life. It's just so hard because when I had my daughter, I KNEW I wanted a baby. But now, hearing how wonderful it is to have more than one child, I don't KNOW if I want another. I feel like I'm fighting with time.

Michelle,

If you cannot go one way or another, just put it on the backburner for now. A child is an extremely LARGE responsibility, and if you are working full-time and the hubby is not very helpful, this can become a bigger issue than you just fighting with yourself about having another child. The pressures and stresses may be too much to handle with the added responsibility of another lil'one in the house.

I am 36, I cannot have children of my own. My husband is 43, and he has his own daughter, she is 19. We have decided to adopt. This is just another option if you are feeling the biological timer going and if you can in your heart accept adopting and raising a child you did not birth. I know people that have adopted and others that needed to have their own. Everyone feel differently, there is no right or wrong, it is a very personal decision. This is just a thought, maybe it can comfort you knowing there are alternative methods in becoming a parent to a child and the timer does not have to pressure you. Hope this helps. Whatever you choose, I wish you much happiness. LizB

Thanks, I appreciate the words and suggestions. You are right, I don't think my body could handle the stress. I'll just have to put it on the back burner for now and see what God has to offer me.

Hi there!

I just wanted to let you know that all the literature I've read has stated that it's perfectly fine to be on anti-depressants while pregnant. Ideally of course, I can understand not wanting to be on any medication, but the truth is, the evidence shows no adverse events on the fetus/baby.

Also, one of my closest friends is a psychiatrist and she scoffed at me once when I mentioned this as a concern. Apparently it's well understood in that community that it's okay to prescribe it to pregnant women.

I was just revisiting this post today and saw your reply Shal. Thank you for the encouraging words.

I had my second ultra sound on Wednesday and everything seems perfectly normal. I have about 7 weeks left now and I am getting pretty excited.

I just wanted to encourage the other pregnant moms that if they are on medication just believe that God is in control and he will take care of you and your baby. Also do your best to trust your Doctor's wisdom.

Do your best to focus on other things. Like the wonderful little one growing inside you. It's hard enough when you have anxiety about little things but when you have anxiety about the safety of medications and its possible effects on your little one I know first hand how hard it can be to push those worries out of your mind.

Believe that you will get through any pregnancy related anxiety or depression. The outcome is worth everything!!!

I wish all of you the best and hope everyone is enjoying their summer!

Carrie

Carrie,

That is great news! 7 weeks only! Where has the time gone!

I am so very happy that eveything has worked out for you. I am glad that you shared your experience. I know I would like some comforting words to ease my anxious mind. Yu sounds so very happy, extremely calm and ready to welcome your child with open, loving arms! I am so very happy for you! Please keep us posted on your progress and delivery.

Take care of you and the precious one to come. I hope you are enjoying your summer. God bless you! LizB

Carrie,
OMG!!! I didnt know you were pregnant again!! Congrats girl!! Im so glad you are doing so well. Its nice to see you post again in here. Ive missed you carrie very much. And i still love that picture of your little boy, what a great kid. Carrie, take care of yourself, let us know when the baby comes!!! Love you Nelly

Liz and Nelly,

You two are fantastic! I truly appreciate your encouraging words!

I've missed you too Nelly. I miss going to chat, but with watching Caleb during the day etc it has been harder for me to access the internet. He goes to preschool in August, so I might find a little more time to get online. Although the baby is due in August too... so who knows!

Liz, again thanks for the wonderful words and for responding to my topics and always being open to help! You're the best!

Take Care you two. I will update you as I get closer to the birth.

God Bless,
Carrie