Hi I just wanted to let you all know that before i got the program i had no idea about my shoulds and other peoples shoulds.
I have just realized that one major should that i did with my life was not my should. It was others should. People told me to be a teacher. I got a teaching degree ( i had to drink to get through getting up in front of my peers) ( i didnt realize i had panic disorder)............anyway i did get a teaching degree........It was not my should and i am realizing this the only thing i ever did with my degree was sub once right after i got it and in 1996 (i couldnt drink then but adults intimidated me more then kids)
I did however have a panic attack one of the last days that i taught and i didnt renew my teaching certificate
I have felt badly that i couldnt seem to teach because i thought it was all because of my panic and anxiety. YES That was part of it .................However
The real reason is i hated school i never did want to be a teacher I barely understand my kids homework now and I never wanted to be one but had to be something so i did it cause others told me i should......
Its a relief that i realized it was my should cause i was thinking if i really mastered panic (which i usually only get in front of groups now).....then i could teach SH*& I dont want to teach and never did. I dont even know my subject well enough to teach and dont want to anyway LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLL what a relief
I would like to feel comfortable to be able to not feel embarassed in front of a group and that is really the only time i do have panic attacks or like at meetings for my sons ect.
Anyway i shoulded on myself big time LOLLLLLLL
Lori

I can relate to this, Lori. As you know, playing 8th grade football was my coaches should for me, going steady with my girlfriend in college was her should for me, staying in R.O.T.C. and two years active duty was others should for me. Wish I had understood all of this back then.

I wish i would have known before about this should thing don LOL Im tired of shoulding on myself LOL hehe i love to say that
Lori