Hello there, I have been what I would call "casual friends" with a gal for about 5 years now, 1 of which she was in London. We hang out about once every 3 months or so.

Sadly her father passed away a couple of weeks ago. I sent her a facebook message a couple days after the fact to tell her I was sorry and would be avail for anything she needed. Today I bought her a card to send.

My knowledge source (that's what I have re-named my "self-doubt" in order to view it as more of a partner) suggested I call her also. I automatically thought "no I really don't feel like calling her" but then the in-head banter continued with "but you'd be a bad friend if you didn't call her and perhaps others would judge you."

In the end, I also feel that my main objective in reaching out to her is to let her know I am there for her as a friend if she needs me. Through 2 mediums, I have done that. She is a casual friend so I feel that is enough.

Part of me though is still beating myself up, because I feel I have catastrophized the act of calling her when really it isn't anything to catastrophize. Am I afraid to call Tamzen for some reason?

I feel like I am almost there in achieving an answer to this issue that makes sense for me but feel another persective out there may help me to find the piece of the puzzle I am missing.

Any thoughts out there are always appreciated

Angela