Hi everyone,

Lesson 4 is confusing. I feel like I am doing great pretending to expect less, but having trouble figuring out how to expect less for real. It's difficult to pretend. I'm hoping that if I pretend enough it will be really how I feel.
Can anyone explain?
Kris

Hi Kris,

I think you have to think about your expectations and wonder whether or not they are realistic. For instance,a day or housework. Think about what you expect and make an agenda of realistic expectations. If you can check of even a few of your expectations, consider your day a success.

Helen

Hi Helen,

Thanks for your post. I haven't made agendas before, mostly listed everything I needed to do and realistic or not completed the list. Listing priorities seems like a good idea. I have to try making agendas.

Mostly, I'm confused about expecting less from people. I feel like I am pretending not to expect, but in reality still expecting. I'm not sure how to relax enough so that things do not become so important to me. I like on the tape when Lucinda says, "Let people open like a book." I guess, I am reading the book before I open it. Also, it feels like expecting is a way of coping with things not going well, thinking positive. It helps before hand, but after causes depression.
Do you have any ideas?
Kris

Kris, if you're single, join a dating service like I did. You'll learn to lower your expectations right away !!

Hi JBean,

Haahaha, that's very funny! Dating is difficult. It would be great if there were a dating service with rules, like do not talk about the people in your life, but talk only about what is happening on the date. It could be "Live in the Now" dating.
I don't think that is too much to expect. I do think though if you go places were you find interest, like the movie you wanted to see or dinner, and completely focus on that, that way no matter how the other person is, at least you are having fun.
good luck,
Kris