I have been on the program for 2 weeks and I have finished session 3 a few days ago. I felt that I have improved so much that I never thought I could achieve. Session 2 taught me how to calm myself and session 3 has changed my negative attitude. They were very useful.

When I start session 4 about expectation, I start to find a little bit contradiction with session 3. I realized that I was a negative person on session 3. I am a salesman. I would expect all my clients not buying my product after I introduce to them. After listening to session 3, I try to think in a more positive way. I would try to think that they are willing to listen to me and they would buy my product. This has make me more willing to call my clients. Although I don't always get the deal closed, I still think in a positive way after that.

In session 4, I learnt that we cannot control how others response and therefore we cannot have unreasonable expectation on them. As a result, I tried to change my expectation on my client. Before I call my client, I would think "We cannot have too high expectation on other people. Therefore, there is a possibility that they don't buy my product." This kind of thinking makes me unwilling to call my client. I really want to know how should I draw a line between the two opposite.

The same case happen when I try to call a girl I like. When I was in session 3, I would tell myself she should be happy to know a person like me and she would be happy to talk to me. Therefore, I have motivation to call her.

Now in session 4, I would say to myself that I cannot control how other people react. Therefore, it is possible that she doesn't want to talk to me. This has removed all my motivation.

What I experienced is when I expect less, I get less.

Please give me some advice.

Hi what I personally took from lesson four was the should of thinking that leads to the high expectations. I think you can still think that way about the client/friend, but have no expectations to the way they are reacting when you talk to them.
Ok what I mean is like when I call a friend about something that happens to me, I know how "I" feel they "should" react so before I call them I expect they will be just as angry, upset, happy, as I am. Then I would call her and she would say huh, and boom I was gone. Really upset, hurt, angry, and then finding myself even more worked up and then having anziety/panic issues. So now if something happens I still want to talk to my friend I just don't EXPECT her to react.
Also, for example if I am going to the store at first I would think,"Ok I'm on this program I SHOULD be able to just go and come back, like a so called normal person would. I literally fiqured ok I have the tools I'm fixed. YEAH right!!!! I had a horrible day. Now I know I can go down street, I just also expect I could possibly have a problem. That way my expectations are up but with in a good realm. I don't know about you but I am a TOTAL perfectionist, I have to be in total control, and when i'm not I'm screwed. So this lesson was very very hard for me. TO allow someone else to do it, and to stop the should of expectations in my life. Which I am still fighting by the way.. ME personally, I still hold high expectations, so that i stay motivated, I just changed my expectation of the outcome of that situation. So go ahead and think," Yes they love this product, and then want to buy it." That is fine, exspecially if it is your job, as long as you can handle when they don't, as long as that doesn't cause you anxiety.
As far as talking to the girl you like, I think that you should think that way, positive thinking is the most important thing in this course, I feel personally. I think what Linda is striveing for us to understand is putting the extra expectation into what we want. The "shoulds"
that cause us the problems.
I hope I made some sense, It's kind of hard to put the right words to something that is a fine line for each individual. Good luck and keep moving forward, you can do it.
Take Care,
Rayna