I just started lesson 4 today and I guess I assumed I would be better after lesson 1. Boy was I wrong. I think I have more anxiety and panic since I started the program. Is this normal. I have been going step by step and constantly worrying if I am doing it right and questioning everything for example: If I am doing it right how come I still feel this way. What if I am the only person that can't get this program right. I have days that I am really positive and know that I will get better, then there are days that I wonder if I ever will. I think for me the physical symptoms are what bothers me the most. For instance, the last few days I have felt off balance and dizzy, felt as if I am in a dream and can't come out of it. I guess that would be the bewilderment and numbness and tingling in my arms. These are feelings that I haven't felt in a long time. So why after I start the program am I having these feelings. I have worked on the program so hard to make sure I do everything right (that's the perfectionist in me) that I sometimes feel like a robot. I have to do this like this or think like this or eat like this or exercise like this. I am constantly thinking and wondering if I am thinking negative or positive and when I am thinking negative did I replace it with a positive correctly. I know the positive self talk is the major thing in recovery. What if I can't get it right. I know it's not because I haven't tried. I think I spend more time on this program than anything else during the day. Maybe that I why it's causing more anxiety. Has anyone else felt this way after working on this for 3 weeks and when should I start to feel an improvement. Please Help!!!

Hang in there. I'm like you I wish it would go away just like that but I know I've been having negative thoughts for a while now that create the anxiety so it will take time to break the habit. The breathing techniques and letting time pass help me get through rough patches.
Take care.

My advice is to listen to the relaxation cd's over and over again. Also, realize that it is going to take some time to retrain your mind. It's like what my Dr. told me when I was frustrated about losing pregnancy weight. She said "It took you 9 months to get here..." Remember that you have been "doing this" for awhile, and that it is a habit, so it is going to take some time to "undo it".

Halcyon:

I have days that I tell myself to be patient (something that I don't have much of) that I will get better in time. I do understand that it has taken me a long time to get here and I guess I just want it to be better overnight and that isn't going to happen. That just isn't realistic. That goes into the expectation lesson that I am on now. I do enjoy the relaxation cd's. I listen to them twice a day. Sometimes when I listen to them at night, it just about puts me to sleep. I guess that is good. That means that I am relaxed. I'm determined not to give up. I have come to far and have let this take away so much of my life. I have so much to live for. I just look forward to not having to live with anxiety. I am so tired of all of the physical symptoms. Thanks for your advice. Take care!

Carol

I had a LOT more anxiety once I got to lessons 3 & 4. A LOT, so I can totally relate. I actually felt like I wasn't being *me* by always trying to turn around my negative thoughts into postive ones...kinda "Polyanna-ish". I think it was annoying me which caused me anxiety as well as the fact of discovering I had so many negative thoughts and was being asked to focus on them enough to write them down and turn them around. Once I got beyond lesson 5, and now am on 6, I am starting to feel less anxiety. Actually since starting lesson 6, I realize how much anger I harbor, but am actually relieved to discover it and start working on that. I think you will find your emotions waxing and waning through the program and I am sure this is normal. We are all different and are going to respond differently!

Keeping the Faith:

Thanks so much for your response. It helps so much to hear from people that are going through the same thing and having the same feelings as you are. I have been trying so hard I guess to do it PERFECTLY. Imagine that! I am determined to get through this program and get better. I am so tired of living like this. I am trying not to let the constant worry of every single thought that I have consume me. I was letting it stress me so much. I haven't had as many as I did when I first started writing them down. I don't know if I am getting more aware of them and trying to turn them into positive or what. I don't want the program to stress me out even more, so I am trying to remain positive and that is easy to do on good days. On the bad days everything seems negative. If my physical symptoms would improve I think I would improve mentally as well. It will come in time. I have to work on those EXPECTATIONS. Thanks for your support and I wish you the best. Keep in touch and let me know how you are progressing!

Carol

carol,
I feel ecactly like you. Your entry is exactly like I feel, and it's good to see I'm not alone once again. I think the program makes it get worse before it gets better, like it's stirring up all those anxious feelings., Something that is helping me, is that when I have an anxiety attack I tell who ever I'm around and seems to be helping go away. It's amazing. I'm telling everyone. If I'm at home and no one is home, I tell the dog, Ha, Ha! Just know that we are going to be ok one day.

Kristy 951-737-2108

Thanks Kristy and Carol..it really is good to know you're not in it alone! I'm going through this as well, and as I said, it's reassuring to hear that others have this challenge.

Hi everyone. I just read all of your posts and it is a big relief for me to see that I'm not the only one who feels this way. I am on lesson four and have been having a pretty high level of anxiety. What if? What if? What if? Wow are we good at that. I do the EXACT same thing as you CarolW in wondering if I ever will get better. And what if I am the only person this program does not work for? It really sucks. But just to let you know and to hopefully lift both of our spirits (and everyone else's here) that I am feeling the same ways as you. Thanks for the relief.

P.S. I don't know if any of you are spiritual or religious at all, but my dad said this to me and I found it helpful and sensible..."God gave us mountains so we'd learn how to climb."

I've been through the program before and feeling worse is normal. I didn't start to feel better until lesson 8 or so...so don't feel like it should have gone already, its normal to still have anxiety or more anxiety at this point in the program. Just keep going along, it does get better.

In previous groups I've heard that the anxiety gets worse for several reasons. Mainly it's because this is a hudge deal to you and of course you want to "get it right". That can add on some pressure which can make things worse in the short run. You may also be worried, like I am, about what other people would think if they knew you were doing this. For me, I'm worried that it might expose my greatest fear, that I'm screwed-up, and now everyone will know. Luckily it's not true to your friends and family who care about you and support whatever you try to make things better.

I can really relate. The tapes said that most people felt better after just a couple of lessons. My son did not feel better and then assumed he never would. He has had much more benefit from the coaching videos than from the tapes themselves. Some days it's like everything clicks for him, then he'll have another bad day. I am really trying to stress to him the breathing and counting technique. I hope that works for him.

Carol I'm about to start to start session 5 tomorrow..... your post, and i am being completly honest here, is EVERYTHING word for word i feel!!!

so you are not alone!
it is almost scary how it feels like you wrote those words from my moth and thoughts!

hang in there and good luck!!

I have really been having expectations about getting over this too. I was doing great after Lesson 4. Now I'm on lesson 10 and having a hard time again. I had some stress in my life that really set me back and brought alot of anxiety back. So, I guess what I'm saying is that alot of what it is about is lowering our expectations of when we will be over this. It is true that there is an up and down. I found that when I lowered my idea of what was better, I ended up feeling better. So rather than compare myself to how I used to be a year ago, I just decided any litttle step was better than how I was feeling. This worked for about 2 months, but like I said, I had some stress and forgot what worked for me. Now I'm going back and reviewing.

Hang in there, lower the expectations of when you will be over this, and lower the expectations of what is "better."

I just wanted to stop in and let you know that I too am having more anxiety now that I've started the program. It is my belief that the program exasperates the anxiety because it exposes the problem. I believe this is a good thing. We have been walking around this world wondering what's wrong with us for some time now, and all of a sudden we are now aware of the actual problem and the symptoms. We are now aware! Look at the increase in anxiety as a good thing, cause now you're learning the skills to overcome it. Keep up the good work.