When I start taking care of myself, I find I am less prone to get that from others.

Kathleen- I, too am a dental hygienist, and I totally understand what you mean. I sometimes feel like our job is to try to get the pt to like us, afterall most of them don't want to be there!!! I try to remind myself not to try so hard, and while some people will love you, some will not, just depends on their mood, their own personality etc. I also remind myself not to be such a people pleaser, I can tell since I've been a hygienist, that I can easily fall into trying to please everyone! I'm glad to see I'm not the only hygienist feeling this way sometimes!

I can totally relate to what everyone is saying here. Reading this, and remembering what someone told me once, made me realize that we do assume others are judging us - but in reality,we are just thinking that ourselves and projecting our own feelings onto them, thinking that our thoughts are theirs. Wow - that makes sense now...

when I was younger (and I still struggle with this) I thought everyone thought I was boring and stupid. In reality, I must think those things and I'm assuming everyone else thinks it. Also, my exboyfriend used to say to me "you think I'm a jerk" and "I'm not a bad person" - in reality, I didn't think he was - but he must have thought that about himself. Wow - huge lightbulb - thanks everyone!

by the way...has anyone read "The disease to please" by Harriet Braiker? It is excellent!

I feel the same way you do...but I am coming to realize something since I asked some people to describe my attitude when I am around them or in a group. They said that I am the one that step back on everybody, and that I am the one that looks that I am judging everything in my mind... so, go figure, I think is us judging that people don't like us and therefore creates that outside...you know like "the secret" thing..but well, I am glad I am not the only one and this is just something that we can work out..Hugs

Others around us are so wrapped up n their feelings and needs, they do not see us. Even our parents were so busy getting their needs met, they never saw ours. They never heard us when we tried to tell them. There are a very precious few (mainly people like us) that do take the time. And the others home in on us and suck us emotionally dry.

GRanny
In your heart you are a very beautiful person. Just think of it as their loss. When you try to relate to family members and they don't respond in love....we can choose to humble ourselves and walk on and love life anyway. It is not our ressolve to change ther attitude just our own. I choose love with peace and a calm body. How about you? I have a sister thats 3 hours away and she has volunteered to allow me to stay 1 hour to visit her for Christmas. I have done absolutely nothing accept to be a sweet loving sister,

I'm not feeling very well today, So i decided to take off from work today. But then I think what if my mom gets mad at me? What if I get fired? I always told myself i can pick up an extra day next week to make up for it, but the fear of what my mom thinks of me is making me feel anxious. Any advice to cope? thanks...

Noelle,
It is hard to get through the day when we are the way we are. I am also caught up in what people think, or approve of me, the way I look, act, talk, or thinge I do. What I'm about to say is hard to hear and do, but FORGET IT! Worry about what you think of you and your actions. If you have a good reason for not going to work, then that is that. You answer to yourself and are responsible to yourself, nobody else. Nobody is perfect....including you. You can only do what you can do. You did what you did. Stop feeling guilty. If it bothers you, then go the extra day next week. Think if this is important enough to spend time on worrying about. Go easy on yourself and stick by your decision no matter what people around you think or feel. Enjoy your day off, or sit and relax. Tommorrow will be better if you do that instead of beating yourself up. We all need a break sometimes. Enjoy yours.

All your advice does make sense. Maybe I should let it go and say, "Okay I wasn't perfect today but I will learn from it. I will change my diet, think more positively, get back on track and this will change my mood to succeed next time. It is possible others at work will get mad at me, but who cares what they think? I will make an effort to do better next time. We all have our days." Thanks for your advice

This message has been edited. Last edited by: ~Noelle~,