so this might sound ridiculous but im 5'9 and 129.5 ilbs and completely insecure about it, only its not the normal wanting to lose weight, its wanting to GAIN weight. I have sort of developed this phobia now that when I eat, i think what if i lose more weight? its kind of a vicious cycle that i am continually battling with myself. i realize that some people would LOVE to have this problem but I am terrified about becoming any smaller. At my highest last sept. I was up to 170 if you can believe it! It was because of those ridiculous meds but now I am getting all the comments, wow your so thin etc. That makes it worse!!! Has anyone been in a similar situation or have suggestions how to gain and get over this issue?

I'd imagine eating disorders can span all degrees of the spectrum, and your fear of losing weight is actually along the same lines of anyone fearing they'll gain weight. It's all about the negative dialogue in our head.

The next time you sit down to eat realize that your mind has automatically started fear based on habit. In order to break that habit, write your fears down on paper (journal), and then counter them with positive, affirming thoughts.

If you think, "What if I lose weight?", then you can counter with, "It's okay if I will lose a little, but the truth is, if I eat healthy there's no fear. I'll stay at a weight that's consistent and healthy for me."

Somebody just pointed me to this website www.sparkpeople.com and I think it's awesome. It works for gaining weight as well as losing it. You just sign up (it's all free) and give them your present height/weight/etc. Then you give them a goal weight and goal date and they work up menus for you with a determined number of daily calories. You can switch menus around or change things as you wish. I've been working with it for a few days now and I can see where I've been lacking. I need more carbs but I guess most people who want to gain will need that. So go check it out. I'm very pleased with it. (Now if I could just stick with it! )

I know what you mean about it being a self esteem issue. It's the way I feel too.

I had issues with eating about 18 years ago (I'm 36 now) where all I ate were raw veggies maybe once a day and weighed like less than 120 and am 5'8". Then after having stomach issues and an appendectomy, I was down to like 105. I really wanted to gain weight so didn't really worry about what I ate or didn't eat and slowly got back up to about 125/130. When I started on the meds, I got up to 160, but have been able to get back down to about 140 and still beat myself up about feeling "fat". I think it's all about accepting ourselves as not being perfect and that we have to do what's comfortable and healthy. Truth of the matter is, I feel more healthy at this weight which is by no means overweight. You have to go with what makes you feel your best. If you just eat and eat healthy and get at least about 30 min of excercise several times a week, you MAY loose a bit of weight at first, but if anything you will stabalize your weight, maintain and feel better about yourself.

Wow! Thanks for the website...i Need something to force me to keep track of all that stuff! I can already tell that this is going to help!

let me know how its working for you! it really helps to know that people are having similar issues.

Visit a GNC or other health food store. They have all these sure weight gainers, all protien shakes. My male friend was a rail, 5'10" and 135 lbs. He did 3 weight gainer shakes per day, 1 was breafast, 1 mid morning snack and 1 mid-afternoon snack. He would eat a regular lunch and dinner. He put weight on in several months and looked great. Good luck.