quote:

Originally posted by Tracy2:
Hi Nick,

I spent the first 35 years or so of my life trying to prove myself not only to my parents but to the world. I finally realized that I was just trying to overcompensate for low self-esteem; it really had nothing to do with my parents, or anyone else, at all. All my parents ever wanted for me was to be happy.

I eventually figured out that no one really cares what you do, how you do it, where you do it. All they really care about is how you make THEM feel. The only way people remember you is by how you treat them. And I think that good relationships are not about trying hard to please any one, but just trying "to be in the moment" with that person or persons. I learned a lot from the lesson about having expectations in this program. Have you been there yet?

My sister has had years of therapy and is still bitter because she feels our mother ignored her as a child. She is very externally-oriented and I am very internally-oriented. So our needs are quite different in regard to what we need from other people. As such, our experiences in childhood, and adulthood, have varied immensely. I think I have a range of perspectives I can share with you, but need to know a little more about your problem in order to be of any help.

What were you doing that caused you to become bitter and lose your spirit?

-Tracy