"I hate this journal!"

That's what I wrote in my last entry and it's true. I not only hate the journal but I'm afraid of it. I'm afraid of reading back through past fears and re-awakening them. I think I'm even afraid of chasing down my fears because, lately, defining them seems to be given them more power - making them more real, if you will.

i hate it too lena, but do it anyway. i quit doing it because i was lazy,but gonna start again . it will get better. exposing yourself to it makes it go away. good luck ,kp

K guys this might sound kind of wierd and a little kiddish but i guess pooh is just a kid at heart. Heres what I did. I went and bought different colored markers and stickers and all sorts of things and made it a fun journal not just hard stuff. I am also sort of an artist so I like to draw in mine. It can be whatever you want!!!

well, i suppose it would be kinda ok for a little while. but but but it gives me nervous tension

Writin in your journal you can also include those positive attributes that you hold. I will write my bad feelings and thoughts and I have found that when I respond to my negative thoughts with positive truths, I actually feel a healing come over me. I am very good at negative self talk. As you are jounaling, try following up your journaling with a couple of positive truths. More than a couple if you can. See how you feel.

We are shaped by our past, yet we have the ability to shape our future. We are not defined by our past. You may fill that journal and never return to it if it makes you feel bad to return to your thoughts, but may the future hold journals you will treasure as your healing takes hold. Always try to finish with positive truths.

Lavender

How about this, how about change the style of your journaling how about do journal that focus on anything thats positive. Any little positive you did for the day or positive thoughts that you made or you found positive quotes/affirmation ... Maybe it will help you not feel fear or feel you are write too much negative all the time? How about this.. Also you can look back see how much you success and those positive stuff

Write how you conquered each issue. Make your journal fun...buy stickers colorful markers...doodle, make faces...One day you will look back and see how far you have come.

Keep 2 journals.

Write good things in 1.

Write bad things in the other, do not look back at those writing though!

I skip so many days it will take me 20 yrs to fill my journal

me too leatherwulf

I am glad that there is a topic on this I am not good at journaling either. In Fact I HATE IT! I try with the best intentions and cant seem to be consistant in it. But yall have some pretty good ideas so far. I might be able to do somthing if I have colors and stickers to help induce creativity. I will try again!

hey there yoyo, how ya doin? i know it is like donig homework then ya get a headache then i gotta get on here. and if i am depressed, no way hugs to u yoyo,kp

I have a question. If you don't face the fears, i.e. negative thoughts, by writing them down and then seeing distortions in the thoughts and come up with more compassionate, loving, and realistic thoughts to write down after them.........then how do you get over your fears or negative thoughts?

It is scary, agreed. But if you never figure out how to counter them, then how the heck do you recover? Osmosis? Magical thinking? How?

Once you begin to learn how to counter the negative with truth and compassion, you begin to see that there is another way to view and perceive things. Once you learn that you begin to break free of the negative and the prison these negative thoughts have held you in. When that happens you've found the keys that release you from prison, you walk out, and you're free! Because you no longer believe the negative, but the new, compassionate, truthful thought.

There may be times you have to rework through the same scary thought again, but if you've done it once you can do it again.

Distorted thinking results in panic and depression, abnormal emotions. Realistic thinking results in healthy emotions which allow you to function normally. Work at seeing the distortions and lies in your thoughts. Find other materials, other books to help with this. Or post them here for others to help you with them.

If they become too overwhelming it's time to take a break from them and journaling. Wait until you are feeling strong again to try again.

Thanks for all the good ideas out there. Stickers ARE fun... but time consuming and my journal-phobia is to the point now that I want to see as little of that thing as possible. But there I go again.

In response to Don's question, I really just speak of morning when anxiety is at its worst and journaling only seems to make it worse. I have had more success journaling during a later time of day but I still feel a lot of negativity towards the writing process and the journal itself. (Don't get me wrong, I love writing. I've written a book too!) But I hate being so personal and direct in my writing and admitting everything that is wrong with my pattern of thinking because, of course, I don't want the thoughts to be there in the first place. Not to justify anything, Don. You are totally right about needing the journal in order to face my fears and recover. It's just hard... just hard.

It is hard, I agree. It is scary, at least it was and is for me. But, by journaling the negative, I was eventually able to find loving, compassionate and truthful thoughts which replaced the negative. When this happens your mind stops thinking the negative ones. It's all a cognitive process of learning how to change how we think.

The avitar you use is your personal business, not mine. But, do you see the image your other avitar projected? It said you are a worm or less than a worm. That is very self destructive thinking and behavior. It can only make a person emotionally sick. It can not help you get better. If that is how you view yourself, and I don't know that it is, then my guess is you have all kinds of critical thoughts about yourself, perhaps condemning thoughts. Who wouldn't be emotionally sick with such thoughts?

I was very sick. I couldn't work and was in bed a lot of the time, didn't bathe, didn't brush my teeth. by working with the program over an extended period of time I was able to pull out of that and journaling was a big part of it. After getting good at it, just writing down the negative thoughts seemed to magically release them and I could let go of them effortlessly it seemed. As the program says, "There is magic in writing". I found that to be true for myself.

It may be time for you to stop the journaling for a while until you feel stronger emotionally. Then go back and take it one step at a time. Don't overwhelm yourself. Be easy on yourself. You've probably been your own worst enemy for way too long. It's okay to be sick of journaling. Just keep working the program and believing in yourself and you'll get better. Hope you week end goes well for you Lena. Be good to you.