I am having a hard time keeping up with my journaling. I don't know if it is because I am just lazy or if I don't want to face what I am writing about. Has anyone else had this problem and have any advice?

Hi there! You're wondering if you're lazy or if you don't want to face what you're writing about. First of all, i don't think anyone is lazy! 'Lazy' is just a symptom for something else. If you tell yourself you're "just lazy" you'll only end up feeling badly about yourself. The term 'lazy' is kinda like 'bored'. These are symtoms. What i mean is, that it 'seems' like we're lazy when we don't want to attend to something, but there is a REASON for that! And when i'm 'bored', it isn't cause there is nothing to do, it's because i'm 'down' or don't have motivation to attend to much of anything. Try to look honestly at the underlying reason, without judging yourself. Inside of you, i would bet there is a vibrant, very-much-alive, curious, interested in life...human being! Sometimes i am amazed that i, again, have forgotten to attend to such'n such a thing. But it's not forgetting, not usually. At this time, i actually WANT to write in my journal, even a few minutes a day...often much longer. But believe me, for a long time i did not want to put in that time. I had my underlying reasons, just as you may have yours. So, you can gently ask yourself a few things, like: "what if i wrote in my journal every day, how would that feel?" or "What don't i want to look at right now?" Or "how does journal writing feel for me?" You might discover the WHY that you are wondering about. It doesn't matter if what comes up is 'negative'....this isn't to be judged! It will simply give you some insight and from there, you can work with it, you can use some of Lesson 3 to help your own attitude, to comfort you. Maybe you'll end up starting with 2 minutes as day! You need to give yourself understanding, cause only when you get that...will you be willing to do the writing, or whatever else holds you back. I personally understand what you're saying very well. I hope this all wasn't to much to read. I hope you can use it in some way. God bless. Linda

------------------
Linda

Lestat,
I have been journaling since 1/25/01. That was before I got the program. I find that I have "no-one" to confide in. Part of that is my fear of what they will think of me. So I started to journal.

When I first started journaling I was in the midst of panic, anxiety and depression and I had a lot to write about. I have found that in the last month or so (I have had the program for 5 weeks) I don't have much to talk about anymore. I am not panic'd, the anxiety is almost gone...I still make a point to write something about each day.

It is hard for me to keep the discipline since I am not as upset as I used to be...but I have satisfaction when I write a little and I look back to the pages I used to write just a couple of months ago. I can see the results of all that I am doing to make myself better.

I can see that the program is working..(I am on meds and in therapy as well). I know that I am on the right track.

My advice is just keep trying. If you don't manage to write...don't beat yourself up about it. Tomorrow is a new beginning.

Good luck to you ~Flutterby