I originally posted this in the Participant Questions & Support Forum but thought I would post it here as well because I have been struggling with Lesson 3 for a very long time. I have gone to Lessons 4 and 5 but never completed them and always returned to Lesson 3. My entry below was a huge success for me!



I had an eye-opening experience into my anxiety and panic disorder.

My husband gave me a voice activated, hand held tape recorder for Christmas because I complained about having trouble writing down my thoughts, especially during an attack. It is a little smaller than a cell phone so when I'm out and getting anxious I can record my thoughts and feelings as they occur and I look like I'm on the phone.

Wow, when I played a couple of them back I could HEAR the fear in my voice and the sudden change my voice takes when the fear is passing or subsiding. What a difference! No wonder I scare myself so badly.

I drove to the grocery store last week, by myself, and recorded myself on the way there. I went into the store and while I was walking back to my car I recorded myself again. When I got home and listened to both recordings I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I sounded like a scared little girl driving there and while walking towards the store. My voice was shaky and uncertain. After I came out of the store and recorded my accomplishment I sounded completely different. My voice was strong, proud, in control. What a difference!

Just hearing the change in how I was talking to myself and the confidence in my voice as opposed to the shaky voice I had driving there has given me a whole new outlook!

I have felt so much better since I started recording myself. I can't believe the changes I'm making.

I should mention that I haven't been anywhere by myself in the last four years so driving by myself is a really huge step for me and going into the store alone was incredible!

Take care all,
Serenetysister

That was a really great idea! Good luck with it.

Congrats on going to the store. I've been there. I know how it feels when you finally do it.

Hi Margief60. I feel like a big weight has been lifted off me. I know I can move ahead in the program now and not feel like I am missing something.

Thank you,
Serenety

Hi Serenety,

I'm also having a very rough time with Session 3. I've been writing down my negative thoughts and I've converted some to positive, but I'm just not "getting it." This is very difficult for me because I am majorly addicted to negative thinking.

I will have to try to tape record my negative thoughts - maybe that will help. I did start talking out loud to myself in a positive way today - yes, I'm even talking to myself now!
That seemed to help, just hearing my voice (although my voice did have a little shake to it because I was nervous). I will continue with that.

Thanks for the suggestions, Serenety!

Hugs,
Lisa

To "SERENITY" & all on lesson 3.... A voice activated recorder is a GREAT idea. (I've not been able to carry around & write down my thoughts as suggested.) And to Lisa GD.... I've also found myself talking TO MYSELF too. (I used to hear others doing it and thinking, "hmmm, kinda weird", but now I think (as I talk to myself) "at least someone who understands is listening!!" AND TO ALL ON LESSON 3....I too have had trouble with it (as a matter of fact I STOPPED the program after lesson 3, then months later went back to it & read in the workbook that for some reason MOST people seem to stop after 3. I have listened to that #3 tape over & over & over again and have FINALLY caught on to the "positive" self-dialogue & all of you who are "stuck" will POSITIVELY get it too eventually. STAY WITH IT, and Good Luck to US ALL !! --Debbie-

What a great idea!

I agree that talking out loud seems to help a lot - whenever I'm upset about something and I keep it in my head by thinking about it (or should I say obsessing about it) I always feel better if I go for a drive (especially if noone can see me - afterall, what would they think of me if I was talking to myself )and talk outloud about the problem - it makes it so I stop obsessing and I can actually feel my emotion instead of stuffing it. I haven't done that a lot lately - but it always feels better!

Good for you!!! I say whatever works do it. Where do you find the small recorder? It sounds like something that you could also use to distract yourself. Interesting isn't it.

Great idea! You can get those small tapeless recorders at walmart for about 30 bucks.
Take care and keep on keepen on!