I am blown away at how hard lesson 3 has been for me..I beat myself down all day long. Positive self talk has been very hard for me.
Im a stay at home Mom of 3 little ones, and of course Im going to get worn out, but it's just never that simple. I always feel I need to be Super human, and always be doing something..If I don't have enough energy, then Im a loser.. If I want to lay down with the baby in the afternoon, then Im a loser, If my house isn't spotless, Im a loser, and It goes on and on..It takes so much out of me to be nice to myself. I don't know how...... sometimes I feel like Im kidding myself....

I can totally relate to where you are coming from. I beat myself up over everything. Although I'm starting to change that because I'm so exhausted from the negative thinking. I'm glad it's exhausting to me and I'm finally changing it. I also have recently noticed that I worry so much more about what others think and I never used to be that way. I've really started to pay attention to this and I'm changing it slowly, but surely. I tried to be super woman - I have 2 year old twins - for 2 years and I'm finally tired. I'm so tired that I realize I can't worry about that little stuff anymore. It's just not worth it.
You're in my thoughts!!
Angela

Thank you very much for sharing with me. Negative thinking does get old quick. It just scares me that, that's all I seem to know. Giving myself a break is so hard. I guess i need to really grasp the fact, that if I have a slow day, the world will not end.. I guess i have my work cut out for me..
Anyways, thanks again :-)

Isn't it interesting how we beat ourselves up (I am a terrible offender of this - which is where I think most of my anxiety and depression comes from) - but are so forgiving and understanding of others? I started the bad habit of thinking I had to be perfect when I was a child and am realizing how totally unrealistic that is - and how damaging it is as well. I grew up in a very critical home so I have internalized that critical voice. Now I want to learn how to be more nurturing and respectful to myself.

I am new to this website. Reading your comments about always worrying and feeling inadequate. That is exactly the way I feel. Like I am never good enough. I never do anything right. The man I love more than anything just left me withour warning for someone else. I keep thinking over and over...what is so wrong with me? I thought I was doing everything right, and as usual, I must have done something wrong.

That's what I thought when my boyfriend and I broke up - and everyone told me I was beating myself up, and maybe I was (and still do) as a protective mechanism because if I can become "perfect" then noone will leave again. I don't think that works - and because I was beating myself up so bad, my anxiety and depression got worse. I think that's why it's so important to do the notebook with the negative thought and the replacement thought - it really seems to help - as long as you keep up on it because it takes a long time to make that a habit rather than that strong critic inside that likes to take over...

I just ordered the program and have not received it yet. I really hope that it helps. I have always had anxiety and self esteem issues, but now they seem so much worse. I am having a really hard time just functioning.

I can relate - I have the same problem. and when my job ended and my relationship ended about the same time, I went into a tailspin of anxiety and depression - so w hen I started my new job I wanted to really do well and pushed myself too hard and now I am still recovering from it - I have just started the self esteem part of the program and I can tell it helps already.

I can't wait to get started. I really hope it helps. I can hardly make myself go anywhere in town. Everything reminds me of when we were together. I am so afraid I will see him and his kids with her. I feel like she took my whole life away from me. I think if I seen them I will totally fall apart. I have cried everyday for almost 3 months. Will it ever get easier?

Yes - in time - it takes a while and it goes through stages (it's been 10 months for me - now the hardest part is feeling lonely and wanting to meet someone and I still miss my ex sometimes) ...you'll be ok for a while and then you won't - but the feelings of being ok start to be longer. It helps to start replacing your memories with other good memories and if you don't exercise now, it helps to go for long walks and get that oxygen.

I used to walk everyday. I have not been since we broke up. I just can't seem to get motivated to do anything other than go home and sit in front of the tv. I know you are right, it just takes time. I get so mad at myself. I know he is not the man I thought he was. How can I still love him so much. It makes me feel pretty pathetic....Thanks for talking with me. I have not been able to really tell anyone how I am feeling.

I know exactly how you feel - when my exboyfriend and I first broke up, I started a new job and worked alot of hours so I wouldn't think about it - but then WHAM! it hit me hard a couple months later - I didn't feel like doing anything I was so depressed and anxious. I felt stupid because I felt like my friends didn't like him and because he took me on a rollercoaster ride - it hit my self esteem pretty hard. I am only starting to feel better (after putting on about 30 pounds!) because I went on a light dose of Lexapro, have been going for walks, got rid of the caffeine and trying to eat right - but the biggest thing is realizing that I've been beating myself up (and it sounds like you are too because you are mad at yourself).

anyway- of course you miss him - that's totally normal - and I totally understand...it's been nice talking about this with you as well.

You're ex sounds like mine. I know he took advantage of me. I let him get by with things that I never thought I would. I honestly don't understand the hold he has on me. I know part of it is his kids. I really love them and it hurts not to be in their lives anymore. Although from what I hear, the new woman has stepped right into my place. She has 2 kids and he has 2. They are quite the family. I have 2 cats. They are my "kids". I am sorry....I don't mean to go on and on. I am glad you are starting to feel better. I will include you in my prayers. A friend gave me this quote...
" When God takes something from your grasp he is not punishing you, merely freeing your hands for something greater."

I like that quote. One good thing is that if both of our exes were so great - we are in store for something even greater - including a guy who actually knows what he wants - and that would be us!

Thanks for the prayers - I'll keep you in mind as well.

Monalea - I typed wrong "mind" is supposed to say "mine"