Hi everyone,
I am having a hard time with my mom, she doesn't understand what I am going through. We are constantly fighting because she wants things to go back the way they use to but; I can't help feeling this way. Everyone we have an argument I feel defeated and helpless. My anxiety goes sky high. She keeps telling me that I won't get better if I can't get out there and do the things I use to do. But It's so hard, even though I am on lession three of the program my agraphobia stills exist I still fear going places and socializing. Why can't see understand that I cannot help this.

When you get to lesson 4, things may make alittle more sence. Getting people to understand is a difficult and anxiety producing task. For the most part, futile. "Why can't you just get in the car and drive?" I get that one alot. You are going through a journey; and when you do get through it, you will be stronger, wiser, and definitely more self assured. If a person has never had issues with anxiety and panic, then they will never understand the extreams that you are going through, even the one's that love you the most. As you proceed through the program, you will gain the tools to be more assertive and not feel guilty for what you are feeling. "I accept myself unconditionally, right now." Eventually, others will do the same. Try not to feel ashamed for how you feel. You are entitled to feel it all. That is part of the process. Feeling the fear will help you go through. Discover your core issues; they are out there somewhere. It will not happen overnight. Baby steps is the only way. Today, I did something I haven't done in a long time. I used to hike mountains by myself for hours; now my exercise consists of running around in my backyard. Today, I did that, but then walked to the end of my block and, then back, and down alittle further. It may not sound like much, but it is alot for me. Be proud of yourself for any accomplishement...no matter how small; they are all worthy; and so are you. There is an acronym for the word Fear; It is false evidence appearing real. Believe it or not, it is that false evidence that rules us. It is up to you to say, "NO MORE!" You will in your own time. Don't rush, it will come. Are you seeing a therapist, or taking any meds? Everyone will tell you a story about a friend they know, or so and so. The one thing you can gain from that, is that you are not alone. You are more the norm than you think. You will gain alot from this program, I know. You will start to go out and do things. Don't rush, it will happen. My best to you. I hope I do not sound to preachy, that is not my intention.I have my good days and my not so good; but I see the eyes of my children and I know that someday I will be ok. Your mom loves you. Know that when you are debating whatever issue that may arise. My best to you, Linda

Hi Linda,
thanks for your support. Before starting the program I was seeing a therapist but after a while I couldn't afford the almost 200 and hour sessions. I am currently not on meds; however I tried paxil and st.johns wort in the past and they both caused negatives side effects. At the moment I have decided to trust in God and the program and I think that's all I will need. I currently take long walks for exercise as I am not yet ready to join a gym. I wish you all the best in your recovery. Take care and once again thanks for your warm encouraging words.

I think that walking is a great form of exercise. It is a wonderful way to clear your head, and strengthen your cardiovascular system. Just getting some low weight free weights can help with your strength training without a gym. I am sorry that your therapy sessions were so expensive. That seems very high. May I ask what you do? Are you a student or do you work? Are there any community programs in your neighborhood? A strong faith is very important in our recovery; so trust in God and trust in yourself. My best to you. Linda

Hi I to struggle with a spouse that doesn't understand what we go thru on a daily basis. I will get easier I promise. God will only put on us what we can stand and no more, just remember that with every trial we go through we grow in faith. I to struggle when driving I am just now getting to where I can drive by myself again. Hang in there and if you need to talk just email me.

Thanks everone for so much support. Things are getting better. I pray to God every night to help me through this and I believe he will.

For me it's my husband. He blames me for being this way. Well yes it's me like Lucinda says, but there are external factors too and he is one! He says I am not happy unless I am miserable. He hates when I obsess about my health.

My question is can I do this course w/o his support? Will it still work? If he is part of my problem can I work around him anyway?

I really feel like a weight would be lifted if he would be compassionate and believe that this is real! I am hiding this course as he would have a fit. He would think it foolish to spend money on this as it is 'all in my head.' And of course I should snap out of it.

What would you guys do?
Janet

Hello JZ
I just wanted to let you now your not alone it's taken years for my family to realize that this is not completely in my control this depression, I've had to let down my beliefs about meds and therapy as well as realizing that this is my fight for my peace and happiness. I've dealt with alcoholism and have been sober for eight years and this is just another block in the road and I will persevere and be successful. I know it's difficult when you feel alone and especially if it's a spouse, try to patient with your spouse, we really don't understand why were like this so how can we expect for them to completely understand. We are stronger that we thinl we are, take care of yourself and hang in there.

Hi JZ and Future----for me it is my husband and his family and my family etc. i am up to the lesson on being assertive and now it seems like we do not even have a marrriage ----he has always been very controlling. now that i am believing in my self and making more progress he gets worse. being passive was destroying me and now i realize i have to keep going forward. once i was in a womens shelter because abuse developed over all this and now i am trying to keep working at it. not sure what will happen but i have to be who i am---that is when i am the happiest. thanku all for your posts on this subject. Keep up the good work everyone. it gets better!!!!!!!!!