Hi guys,

Just reviewing my old skills again. I'm finding that I have changed for the better a lot. I am a much more positive thinker even when things are tough. There are some things that are a bit harder to catch though. So thought I'd share.

Remember Carolyn or someone saying the oldest habits and the most deep set ones would be the last to go? I think I'm getting to those.
I've decided that I need to change my mind about many things. I've lived far too long with faulty beliefs, mostly about myself. That I'm unattractive, that no one would want to be around me, that certain people will reject me and that I will never know how to deal with that. That being alone has to be a bad thing, that I 'can't handle' my workload, etc.etc.

All these things can be changed. I'm no supermodel, no, but I'm one of God's children, and he doesn't have ugly kids. If I look at other women my age, I don't see that they are that much different from me, yet I judge them much less harshly than myself. So it makes no sense that I'm less attractive than them.
It isn't so much other people rejecting me, as it is me expecting to see rejection, and leaving before it ever happens.
And if I end up spending a lot of time alone, I can either try to change it, and/or I can be patient and make the best of it.
A big thing with being alone...I like solitude, but in order to enjoy it, I need to slooowwwww down. I've decided to write a list every day of the things I do, and come back in a week and see what on that list really matters. I'm betting not a lot of it will.
I get so busy that I'm exhausted at night, and then have trouble sleeping because my mind is going. Also trying to quit working after 8 pm, and lately have been just sitting in front of the tv doing a puzzle. That works great. I sleep better that way.

Some of my scary negative thoughts have been getting pretty sneaky. They come in the form of sounds or pictures, so its hard to counteract them quickly. For example, I may think of the sound of choking. That makes me panicky. So how to counteract? Notice it, notice it, notice it. Then say its just a scary thought, you're not choking, you're just nervous about going to the dentist, it will be ok. Or I will visualize something, like an animal running in front of my car and getting hit, or remember hitting an animal in the past. Then I feel guilty and focus on that. Again, just a way of avoiding thinking about where I'm going.

Bottom line, recognize the thoughts, break up the thoughts, talk back to the thoughts.

Slow down, meditate, relax.

If the thoughts are scary obsessive thoughts, take comfort that they are just a distraction, and watch their power fade right in front of you.

Figure out what really matters to you, and keep working your way towards it.

Never give up.

Hello everyone,

I haven't been feeling very well the last couple of weeks. I have found myself falling into old behaviour patterns by allowing myself to continously speak negatively to myself. How do I break this habit and get back on the right track working through the program, I don't want to feel this way I'm afraid all day every day !

Hi Ben,
I too have been having a hard time. I found that if i read some of the other posts -no matter the subject- that small things they write about help. I also after reading a couple of posts decided to do a review of the program tapes(and I am only on week 4)- I went back to the intro tape and watched it all again. It seems to help on the second time around to listen to it again with a fresh filter. Hope this helps.
Cindy
ps I also bought some books to read to keep my mind busy on positive thins- I highly recommend Hal Urban's Positive Words, Powerful Results-the simple ways to honor, affirm, and celebrate life.

There is SO much truth behind your words, Deb! You really are on to something. It's all about liking yourself, no matter what. And it's all about knowing yourself. You know yourself well. Those scary thoughts you're having are merely a distraction. They distract you from what you really need to take care of or accomplish! You are right on, there.