I started listening to my inner dialog and writing down negative thoughts a couple of days ago. It's really amazing how many negative thoughts I have! Just watching TV, I've noticed that as thoughts drift in and out, the majority are negative. I've begun to see that this section (3) of the program really, really important.

The only problem is that this one negative thought repeats itself over and over. The thought is that this whole program and any positive result is "not of God". The weird thing is that while I do believe in God, He/it wasn't a huge part of my life. Now, everytime I listen to the relaxation tape, I hear the phrase (in my head) "this is not of God".

I know it's crazy. I know that God is supposed to be a loving God. But it seems I've picked out every negative thing about him and I'm using it to reinforce this idea I have. It plays like a mantra in my head and sends waves of anxiety through me. If I try to just stop it, I feel like I'm hiding or "stuffing" that thought. I was beginning to feel hope, and now... Can anyone relate?

No I can't relate exactly. But ever since my anxiety has increased I've been drawn closer to God and all his offerings.

I look at your experience as a positive.

God is in your mind because he's drawing you closer and wants you to explore all he has to offer you.

My favorite quotes to help me through my times of anxiety are as follows:

I can do all things through Christ who stengthens me!

God has not given me the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of SOUND MIND!

Maybe instead of reviewing your negative statements try these.

Hope this helps. Good luck

I have been very close to God the past few years, but when I started with depresion and anxiety about 3 months ago, I felt I was drifting away from Him. I love the verses that butterflymom43 gave you. Philippians 4:13 is my favorite. I agree with her, God is wanting you close, but because we are negative thinkers, we just always are negative. On tape 3 Ken says that when he started having negative thoughts, he would say "thoughts, just thoughts". I have done this and it works. Also finding scripture that you like and repeating it when you have a negative thought might help.
I am starting to feel closer to God. I think my problem was that I had a really bad panic attack at church, and it scared me.
I felt a little wierd listening to the relaxation tape for the first time. I thought it was new age type stuff, but I believe God led me to do this program and now I am more comfortable with it.
Good luck and keep smiling.

Hi Edge, oh yes can i relate! I was raised catholic...God was punishing, mean, and always watching (totally negative). I am an artist, so everything is very visual, and can be scary. To be honest it has only been about one year since I've been able to conceive a loving god/goddess/higher power. And I just started this program, on week 3, and i have more hope than I've ever had in my lifetime.

I have used my drawings, my writings and tape 3 to draw the love of a giving, respectful higher power. There are several books that have helped me also, and i am re-reading them now, "Conversations With God", and "God is No laughing Matter", which pokes fun at times at 'those very spirtual people',

It is so great the honesty on this forum, and i am getting great ideas, and i am fighting those negative thoughts, especially about GOD!

Thanks for your input, from one who now knows a loving higher power. A friend of mine gave me a beautiful brass table size ship, which states..."The Will of God will never lead you, where the grace of God cannot keep you". One year ago i would have left it in the box, today it sets on my dresser so it's the first thing i see upon waking, and the last going to bed.

YA know what, I Believe, and i have hope today... I have found so much support on this forum it's too awesome for me, and that is god working in my life.Even my husband is jealous he has nowhere to be honest and get so much love online,(i told him to register).

blessings aplenty epona

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While the others here have good suggestions for you to make work on your relationship to spirituality, I would also suggest reminding yourself that what you are thinking is just an obsessive, scary thought. That's all it is. You know that, and you have to remind yourself of that again and again. It's not the truth. It's just a scary thought.

It's funny, since it's such a small thing to do, but reminding yourself that that is all that it is helps a ton. For example, last night, I took a Xanax before bed. Then it seemed as if my heart was beating too fast. And I started to get scared: "What if the pharmacy put in one of the wrong pills and this is going to kill me?" Totally wacky, I know. But, it freaked me out. Luckily, thanks to the program (and I'm only on week 3--it works fast), I was able to say to myself, "Lori, this is just an obsessive, scary thought." And, just labelling and recognizing it for what it was helped me enormously and deflated a lot of my fear.

So, the next time that voice comes into your head, just remind yourself it is an obsessive thought. I used to get really ominous thoughts and phrases stuck in my head sometimes. It freaked me out. Now, though, if it happens, I say, "This is just an obsessive thought I'm scaring myself with, nothing more." And that distance helps me so much.

Hang in there,
Lori

Thank you so much for your reply. I have come to believe since that post, that I believe/believed in a very vengeful God. When I really sat down and thought about it, I realized that there was nothing I could do to please this image I have of God. My wife reminded me last night that the Relationship is a gift. God did not give me this spirit of fear (anxiety), the majority of it I did to myself (probably through negative thinking). My wife also told me that she had been praying for God to heal my wounded heart. I'm a lucky man!

Wow!! I was very glad that you posted that Edge because I was raised in a very extreme legalistic strict church background. Everything was hell, hell, hell, if you do this you are going to hell. This has made my anxiety even worse to deal with because instead of feeling comforted in praying and reading the Bible you feel condemned and guilty. I want to see Him as a loving Father that loves me unconditionally and that God wants everyone to be whole, and happy and live for Him with joy and peace in our hearts. I am having a hard time with the relaxation tape as well because everything is telling me this is not of God as well and it won't help me because it isn't spiritual. I want to get rid of this mindset but I feel like I have been brainwashed. I know God doesn't want me or anyone to live like this. I want to get rid of the extreme thinking. Love Mo

Dear Mo& Edge,

I have been right where you are! I know what it is like to have the scary, obsessive thoughts. You feel like you can't turn the thinking off! I know how frightening that can be. I was convinced that I was losing my mind! After I got the program (and my thoughts were so out of control that I started taking an anti-depressant)I started getting better. That sounds so easy but it took many months to find the right anti-depressant, I have a very sensitive system, like every other anxiety sufferer! Lucinda suggests a mild anti-depressant to help control the thoughts so you can apply the program. I am a christian, I have always attended church and I know God is a loving God and have had many prayers answered but when this kind of anxiety hits you, you begin to doubt everything. I had some strange things go thru my head when I was at my most severe level. I'm telling you, it's like all logic goes out the window. We obsess over the weirdest things. When I was doing this I would say I'm not gonna let this scare me, because that just makes it come more frequent and more intense.

I hope some of this is helpful. It does get better, but it does start with what we say to ourselves. That first time you take some of the punch out of the anxiety it's a wonderful feeling! It does get better in time. I'm living proof!

Take care,

Hope40

Hope40:

Thank you for your post! One of the things I always write in the "truth/comfort" column when I'm loggin my negative thoughts is - I will not give up!

Edge, Mo, and Hope40

thank you all so much for your postings. I was raised Catholic and know the guilt and fear of that upbringing. I now know God to be a loving, merciful and awesome God, but that doesn't stop some of the insane thoughts coming through. I believe God led me to this program, so it is of him, even if your mind tells it's not. I've just started week 3 today and look forward to it, although it seems my entire life has been nothing but negative thoughts and it's scary to think about changing. I want to, but it seems sometimes that the negativity almost has a life of it's own. Can anyone relate to that?

Jeanne

Since my original post, I've discovered something I wanted to pass on to you. The negative thoughts concerning the "not of God" issue have been replaced at least once by another "tape loop" negative thought. This time having to do with my teenage son and my/our difficulties relating to each other. While I obsessed about this new subject, I completely forgot about the "not of God" issue. This leads be to believe that these issues are not THE issue. THE issue seems to be the way I obsess, period. I'll let you know if this proves to be true as I go through the program. Thanks for all your words of encouragment.