To: Carolyn Dickman
Subject: You wrote...re: MWC Forum



You once wrote in a response that someone needed to stop the desperation in trying to figure out what's wrong and why they do what they do and feel the way they feel.
I'm finding a huge block for me is the desperation and frustration that I can't "fix it". How does one "accept" and "fight" it at the same time? How do I "feel it" when I get so upset that I feel it in the first place?

Response:

Thank you for the great question...You are a good student-you ask a good question. First: Don't fight "it" Fighting causes stress/anxiety. With acceptance -even of feelings that are uncomfortable- we don't Add to the stress...make sense? When one accepts, one "floats" while beginning to manage the uncomfortable feelings. For example: I'm driving and I have a scary thought=body symptoms...if I 'fight' I INcrease the body symptoms...if I accept/see the sensations for what they are (just a side effect of a thought)--then I can make the Choice to proceed with the rest of the 6 steps...Breathe, Speak the truth in a comforting way/encourage myself, distract myself from the scary/negative thought, and finally let some time pass.

Bottom line--take control instead of asking "why" and in effect 'running' from the feeling. I hope that is helpful-let me know how you put it into your recovery process. I care-been there. Carolyn

quote:

Reply

What a great response Carolyn.
I have come SO far but I find myself soemtimes asking WHy alot too...
Yesterday on a flight I did that.
"Why do I still soemtimes do this?"
"Why me"
Why, Why, Why?"
Sometimes WHY is a terrible word!
Float and move on always helps, even when it is hard.
An hour later I was at home, grcery shopping, laughing with my mom, and moving on!
Lisa