Letting go of toxic relationships causes so much anxiety for me.I have tried to be friends with a previous boyfriend, and I cannot seem to let go.Is it a matter of discipline,not calling, and riding out the anxiety? I know that I need to walk away because he continues to beat me up emotionally, but for some reason I keep going back. Personally, I think he enjoys keeping me in his back pocket for when it is convenient for him.How sad is that? To watch me you would think that I had it all together.I am 41 years old with an awesome figure, and attractive face, and 3 precious children. Yes, I can do better,but I am stuck and desperately looking for some help!!!!

Anne,
Hugs to you. Been there.
NOT letting go causes you even more anxiety.
By not letting go of unhealthy relationships, we constantly send a message to ourselves, and it's not a good one.
It's like telling ourselves over and over again that we deserve the verbal abuse, without even realizing how we think.
It's insecurity and low self-esteem, and it's self destructive.

Think of the message that your children are getting by seeing their mom be attracted to men that are verbally abusive.

You CAN let go, you just haven't done it yet.

It's easier to stay stuck, but you'll get past that. You'll get to the point where you value yourself too much to be putting up with that kind of nonsense.

Allow yourself to feel beautiful on the inside and this guy will be just history. Nothing more. Just a bump in the road that you managed to get over and travel forward to a better place.

Keep moving forward with the program. Fairly soon you'll be able to look back and say "what the heck was I thinking?" when you have a passing thought of this guy.

Let go, take a deep breath, hug those kids and just do it - start loving yourself enough so that this will not be an issue.

God bless and hugs to you.

Anne,

Maybe you're not letting go of that toxic relationship because you don't feel deep down inside your worthy of anything else. It's easy to do when you suffer from anxiety. You think, yeah I look good and I'm pretty but if anyone knew I suffered from anxiety or depression they wouldn't want me. Is that possible? If you felt 100% and didn't suffer from anxiety or depression, would you still want him knowing he will treat you badly? Or do you just feel safe with him because he's knows and he still wants you? I'm only asking because I found I did that in my relationships too. If I met someone who had it all together, I would immediately think "but could he put up with my mood swings, etc.?"

Anne, I wish I had a real piece of insperational advice for you but I don't. It just breaks my heart to see good people let themselves be doormats. Be your own best friend. You wouldn't let some one treat your best friend like that would you ? NO I'll pray for you

often times, we stay in toxic relationships because we are afraid to be alone or think we can't do better. I left a toxic relationship a year ago and can say that I am better off alone. i still struggle with the aftermath but I am improving eveyrday. my self-esteem has taken a beating but i am rebuilding it. Trust me, you will have no self-esteem if you stay.