I have just started the third part of the program on Self Esteem and I am struggling. I not only have I refined my own negative self talk, I tend to take on others negative attitudes as well. Does anyone have suggestions on how to deal with your own negative self image when living in the midst of a negative society? My experiences have been that others thrive on bringing down others.

free,

That can be challenging. When I do my breathing exercises I initiate a little mantra that basically says "I'm a good person", "I am appreciated", etc. Make up whatever you want, but the point being is that it will help change the negative perceptions about yourself.

I have this problem too. I have several relationships in which the other person either speaks negatively of my comments or life, or of others, or in general. Sometimes it gets to the point that it really feels as if its weighing on me. I have tried the positive self talk, but it doesnt really work when its not my comments or thoughts. I just try to tell myself that they are not happy with their own lives etc...I have often thought of ending relationships with people of this type. You are right...society in general is full of negativity. I hope someone posts with some solutions to this problem!

Yes it it very hard being around negative people especially when you're working hard to change yourself into being more positive. Crazygrl78 has a point about ending relationships with such types of negative people, altho it doesn't always work when they're family. My mother tends to be very negative but now I'm seeing she's not so much meaning to be as she is a worrier. She'd never be open to this program or even thinking she has anxiety so what I've been doing lately is trying to look for the good. She's a good cook, she has a generous heart. Take what you like, and leave the rests. If it's negative friends, or other relationships examine whether you really do need that relationship. When you find a positive person that makes you feel good try to kindle that relationship. Most of all realize the positive feedback you get on here. We're all here to support one another. As you do this program more, you will believe in yourself more and your positive self talk will become reality.

Well, maybe you could reconsider if you want to spend time with negative people such a friends or look for new friends who can be more positive. I have a friend who talk negative ALL the times.. I spend a lot of time being positive to that friend. It seem not helping at all. So I decide what is the best for me is to fading away from that kind of negative friend. I do not need negative friends that can make me feel lousy and falling into negative society or people. I have to make the decision which is more important to myself stay in negative or change my own path seeking for positive. But remember everyone have negatives in their life but it all depends on how much they focus on negative if they talk negative once in a while thats okay. Comparing to someone who is so negative all the time worth your time and energy and emotion to be with that person or place or society or whatever. Or change your own path for the better for yourself.

Well said Barb! Very helpful thoughts. I have a hard time being around my momm as well, she always says stuff like " are you ok sugarbear (my childhood nickname), you just don't seeem yourself, I can tell something is worong" On And on she goes, but for someone with anxiety that doesn't help me...it makes me start worrying and second gusessing myself and how I am coming across to people. She to is a worrier and thinks she is helping me. I believe she has anxiety, but realtes it all to her health issues instead of realizong what it really is. Anxiety runs on my mom's side of the family strongly. She would have me believe she is strong and it hasn't gotten a hold of her (skipped a generation and went straight to me) but the more I have learned through this program I can see it very well went through her and into me. A lotof time negative people are just unaware of how they are, and a lot of time atleast with the people closest to me they feel they are trying to help. It is good to recognize what people make you feel good, and souround yourself more with those types. Once you get stronger and learn more tools the other types might be easier to be around. I am hoping to get to that point. I pray you get there! I pray we all do!

God bLes,
Ivy