Sometimes my wife gets really mad at me over stuff that shouldn't be a big deal. When that happens I hear her angry voice in my head over and over. Then I get very depressed. How can I turn this into a credible positive thought?

I know I am having the same issues with my husband.. At times I feel he is more angry at me than understanding of my problem.. It is so hard when he gets angry and says hurtful things. Like this morning he told me that my mental problems are really starting to get to him. That hurt me so bad, because I am not mental it is a disorder and it just makes me so sad that he can't see what that does to me.. It's hard when your spouse has no clue what is going on with you, and that it is so hard to try and tell them how you are feeling.. I wish you all the best, and stay strong..

Maybe your wife needs to do he program too.

Your both right, your spouses dont understand anxiety, or the symptoms or your fears. Truthfully unless someone has experienced them, they dont understand.
A spouse sometimes thinks if they cant help you, or it doesnt just go away, then they are helpless in any efforts. Trust me, it does cause problems, but, if your willing to really work on the program with or without your spouse understanding, you will get better.
I used to tell my husband , IF you could just for one day crawl inside my skin, you would know how i was feeling!! But of course that cant happen.
First of all this isnt to me a mental disorder! But, i also knew it was going to take ONE person to overcome it, ME!!
I could of had a thousand people supporting me, who never experienced this and it would of done NO good.
This is a "Self Help" program. There are lots of people here who will support you, and help you, cause they have been in the very same situation you are in.
But the most effective way to get over anxiety, is the program, doing the cds, the workbook, the journaling, praying, meditating, giving yourself personal ME time, exercising, giving up caffiene, and to many sugars.
Most importantly, Loving yourself, and stop beating yourself up because you have anxiety. Now that you know what it is, You can defeat it!
Dont allow anything to get in the way of your doing and putting in the time it takes to do your program. Even bad attitudes!!! Nelly

Thanks Mello Nello for the words of wisdom, and support.. What you said really meant allot... It's nice to know we have people out there going through the same thing, and to know we aren't alone..

You know Ted, I had the same problem with my wife. But, whenever I started this program, it made me realize something. My wife has OCD, and I never really understood how that makes a person feel inside until I realized it through realizing my own issues that cause me to be anxious. Once I had a better understanding of that, I had a better understanding of how she feels sometimes. Now whenever she gets angry about something, I kind of just smile to myself, because I understand what is going on in her mind. We have to realize that what may appear to us as a small, insignificant thing, can be really huge in someone else's mind. Hope this is a help

Jim

This topic hits home for me. My husband just announced he has been seeing someone for the past 4 years. I am so wacked out by this I am barely functioning. I am starting my 4th session on the program. He announced he is taking a trip to France with some friends. when I asked who -he said no one that I know. I told him he was being cryptic and he told me he has been seeing another woman back in my home state were we moved from 4 years ago. I understand that living with me (we have been married for 22 years with two children 18 and 15) has been so hard on him. I has had this anxiety and depression for nearly my whole life. He thought he was marrying a bubbly smart, energetic fun loving woman. I feel like a fraud. I can not give him what he needs in terms of physical affection. I have pushed him away so many times I think he could not stand it any more.
So now here I am starting this program- living in another state where I just quit my job (another long story) with seemingly no support system here. I could really use some advice.
Cindy

All this really caught my attention. Im just about to start session 4, and I've been doing some deep introspection. I've been having problems with my husband ever since we got married... and most all of my issues started at the same time. Now, I know that no one else is supposed to be able to control your feelings and so forth... but I only really feel anxious around my husband because he is so critical and negative, and I only feel depressed when I think about my life with him... Is it possible that I could get over my issues, and find that he is the real problem?
Kelly

Kelly,
I just came back and read my post. It seems that it was weeks ago but it hasn't even been a week. I don't know the answer as to whether you will find it is your husband that is negative and you might but what you will find out about yourself and your strength will be well worth it. I do know that I had quite a break though after he left for France. I was so ready for this program when I started that nothing was going to keep me from working it so I kept on listening to the tapes and using the relaxation tape 3-4 times a day. I went back and listened to the introduction again. I had given my husband the "I'll be there for you tape" and he said he had listened to it. I'm not really sure what happened but somewhere in the middle of negative talk I realized that I was the one doing the negative talk about him. I had my mother and other people's shoulda's running my thoughts. I looked at my expectations of my marriage and realized that most of them were not mine. I was letting my fear of what I thought others might think about him drive my feeling for him. I was constantly trying to control him, to have him be who I thought he should be and in doing so lost sight of how much I really do love him. He is a very positive person when I am not trying to convince him that he is wrong. I don't know what your exact situation is but I would say just keep working the program, let things float. You have 15 weeks worth of work to do. I found as soon as I worked really hard on what I needed to do and just got busy with my stuff it all fell into place. Best of luck and hang in there.
Cindy

I know how all oaf you are feeling. I obsess about what my wife is going to say if i do this, or i dont like it when she treats me like that, and then you get yourself into the what if thinking, and then the anticipatory anxiety. Mine is a really stressful situation because we are new parents of twins (13 months old), and i just switched medications. I keep myself looking at it logically. 1) I am human and so is my wife, no one is perfect. 2) This too, like everything else, shall pass. 3)I accept my flaws and my wifes flaws, and the fact that we both get irritable and anxious. Also, here is a little thing i read to myself everyday:

"Attitude is everything.
Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
Live simply.
Love generously.
Care Deeply.
Speak Kindly.
Leave the rest to God."

Yes, my wife takes her insecurities out on me, as i have done to her in the past. I am working hard to get beyond it, and she knows i am. As long as we communicate, and dont assume anything of each other, we will continue to grow in life and love.

I hope this helps.