hello: i am on lesson 3, but am having a real problem with recording my negative thoughts. for some reason, it's so hard for me to actually sit down & write them (i think i'm thinking too much about it) & then it's even harder to write a positive thought that makes sense.

is anyone else this lost about it? i am trying to be nice to myself & not get so upset over it, but its hard b/c i know i'm having negative thoughts but keep avoiding writing them down. maybe i'm scared of what im actually thinking? who knows. i think i will be on this lesson for a while b/c i feel completely anxious & lost right now.

thanks in advance for any insight.

You said it "avoid writing them down".
Why? They are scary and sometimes it feels like that if you write them down it will give them life they aren't "locked up" anymore, but the opposite is true. There is something about writing things down that gives the thoughts less power. Once they are on paper you are able to actually see what they are. Even Oprah keeps a journal which helps her with her wieght.
there is scientific proof of the benefits of writing things down.
Write, write, write. Don't worry about coming up with a positive thought right away it will come. Just get those thoughts out of your head.
Sherra

thank you so much for your response sherra. it really hit home & i thought about it & i finally sat myself down & wrote them out, then went back & added the positive. i felt a little bit better when i was done.
i guess i'm confused also as to how long we have to do this. is it for one day like it says in the homework, or is it the whole time we're on this lesson? im sorry to sound so confused, but i can't think straight even when i read the homework & listen to the tapes. im having a really hard time this week with lots & lots of anxiety & its hard to concentrate. i wonder if im the only one having such a hard time on this lesson?

thanks again for your help.

Hi lyds,

The reason for writing down the negative thoughts is to become aware of what you are thinking about negatively on a regular basis. Its not for one week, but for however long it takes for you to be able to identify what it is that is bothering you. Once you identify the problem you can begin to develop solutions to the problem. If you aren't aware of the problem, i.e. the negative thoughts, you can't develop solutions for it. The solution is ofcourse to develop more compassionate thoughts that replace the old, negative ones. You are in the process of developing habits which will identify the negative thoughts and change them or restructure them to more loving, compassionate, and truthful thoughts.

Forgiveness is also a part of this, forgiving yourself and others. All of this is a process, it takes time and work on a regular basis, not just one week, or even 15 weeks. Don't overwhelm yourself with information or work, just do what you can when you can and see how it goes.

We want change instantly, but it doesn't happen that way. It tooks years to get this way and it will take time to work out of bad habits and into good habits. You are just beginning a path which can help you recover and perhaps before the 15 weeks is up you will feel much better, some light bulbs will be turned on inside your thinking process. But it may take longer. It took me over 3 years to be fully functional again. A book that helped me understand the process a little better was "Feeling Good, the New Mood Therapy" by Dr. David Burns. There are examples of negative thinking, restructuring the thoughts and other helpful tools as well.

The important thing is that you've taken action and are trying to change. That is wonderful and to be commended. It's a big step and can be scary at times. it's okay, we've all been scared and come through it. Be good to yourself, love yourself unconditonally and try not to beat yourself up. You can recover. Just be patient and seek to learn as each day and week progresses. Don't put pressure on yourself thinking you aren't progressing fast enough. WE all progress at different rates. Be sure to reward yourself for trying and good luck.

don:
thank you for your kind, uplifting words & wisdom. i decided that except for the journal entries & relax. tape this week, i am taking a week off of the program.
i thought about what you said, how we all have to go at our own pace, & you are soooooo right.
i tend to take on way too much at once & the program is one of those things. i really, really want to do this right & be on my way to recovery ASAP, but i also want to go at my own pace so i can completely understand it all without feeling rushed.
anyway, thanks again for taking the time to respond & know that your words really stick with me. have a great night.