Hey guys it's been awhile eh? I've recently been discharged after admitting myself to a hospital (center for mental health and addictions) for a few diffrent reasons and I've been working very very hard on the CBT mainly with the help of 2 books I have and I didn't realize the importance of one of the suggested activities but now i'm noticing big changes in my mood after starting to utilize them...bigger than what i've noticed from doing the CBT from the last 5 years!!!

First of all I'd like to mention that it is very important to really understand the cognitive distortions...if you can understand which thoughts fit into which distortion you can be better equiped to expose the lies in them and thus make yourself feel better. One particular distortion I've found to work amazingly is the Label distortion (or in the program they call it overgeneralization but you could say it's a sub category because you can have overgeneralized thoughts that aren't labels). Working on this has been taking away my fear of judgement (not completely but it improves each time i work on a label), fear of mistakes, fear of having anxiety and fear of getting to sleep too late. It is definately worth checking out!

Labels are what keep us from trying, after all what is the point of putting the limited ammount of energy we have on feeling better if we've condemned ourselves by saying we are bad? The label tells us that no matter what we do we are doomed to feel this way or be a certain way forever, it is like a death sentence. On top of that these LABELS DO NOT EXSIST. They don't exsist because we aren't static beings, we all have the ability to change and grow at any moment and it is impossible to be stupid or dumb or worthless 100% of the time.

Instead of explaining how to do this I would like a few volunteers to help show how this works. What I need you to do is give me a label you are constantly struggling with and define it for me. You can do this here in this thread in order to help multiple people all at once but if you absolutely feel too afraid then PM me. What i will do is question it to the point that it doesn't make sense and thus has less of a hold.


Mike


Mike aka Ninjafrodo

Mike -

I'm not sure if I'm doing this right, but I'll give it a try:

1) FAILURE: I keep trying every day, but I'm still struggling with panic and anxiety. I don't feel like I'm getting better fast enough. I'm FAILING at healing.

2) LAZY: I should be spending every waking moment working on my anxiety disorder. There are times that I take "time off" to watch TV or socialize. That's wasted time that could be used to work on healing. I'm not trying hard enough.

3) HOPELESS: There's no way out of this mess. My life is in shambles and I just don't see how it will ever be rectified.

Is this what you're looking for? I could probably come up with some more, but I'm not sure where to go with this.

Jamie

These are good as long as you are calling yourself a failure, a lazy person and hopeless.

I'm not going to attempt to pick at all 3 at the same time but the one that jumps out at me the most is the lazy one so lets start with that.

Ok so you say a lazy person is someone who has anxiety and doesn't work on it every waking moment and wastes time doing other things like watching TV or socializing.

Wouldn't this make everybody with anxiety lazy then? Is it realistic to expect another sufferer to work on it every waking moment? Would you expect me to be working on it every waking moment?


Mike

The label/name I call myself that I just can't shake is stupid. Something silly happens and it's right there--you're so stupid, I can't believe you just did that. The thought is there and often times I say it out loud. I'm really hard on myself and that's where it comes from. I expect myself to do it right and there's no allowance for slip-ups.

How do I stop it?

New_nana i'm glad you brought this up...it is a big one for myself as well. My family constantly said things were stupid or don't do stupid things or this person is stupid or that person is stupid. It kinda makes you afraid to do things because they might seem stupid.

Define what a stupid person is and then we can start to work on this.

Mike

I've used stupid on myself and annoying on outside things (people, situations). I tend to label things too, and focusing on dropping that habit.

Hi Mike
Yeah it's me again from chat. I am going to
get in on that one with the ladies. The word
"stupid" is a biggie for me. How could I be so stupid, why am I so stupid, why can't I be smart like my brothers, blah blah blah.
So whatcha got?

Jill~

quote:

Originally posted by NinjaFrodo:
These are good as long as you are calling yourself a failure, a lazy person and hopeless.

Thanks, Mike. I'll work on being a failure, lazy, and hopeless! Just kidding - I just got a kick on how you worded your first line to my response, LOL.

In all seriousness, I get your point and think it's a good one. Labels are generally a bad idea since the set false boundaries and give encourage black and white thinking. But, like most of us, I tend to fall into the same thinking patterns and label myself and my achievements, or lack there of.

I'll keep an eye on this post to see how it develops. I'm curious what other people are saying to themselves and how we can combat our own negative thought behaviors.

Be well,
Jamie

SeaRunner You didn't even answer the questions i had out there for ya...I can't help you with your definition unless you answer the questions.


As for everybody else....It sounds like stupid would be a great one to start with.

Someone needs to define it for me though.


Mike

Hey Mike,

Glad you're back! i don't know if this is a label, but most of my life i always refered to myself as not being like anyone else. I think this led into labels like i'm not good enough, or i can't do that because i'm not like that! I guess what i'm saying is that i think i found the source of this labeling, at least with myself anyway. I also call my self stupid, not so much anymore, but i still do ocasionally. I think the strongest feeling i still have, is that i still feel like an outsider. Like no one around me understands me. Thankfully, i have this web-site, it really eases that feeling. I just realized, Outsider is a label!!!

Bill

Labeling yourself as stupid could mean that you are telling yourself that you never do anything right, that you always make mistakes, that you can't understand or comprehend anything. Exposing this in your response could be "How ridiculous, just last week I fixed a complicated computer program glitch and did it right." "I don't always make mistakes- yesterday I put together a bookcase without one mistake and balanced my check book down to the penny. "I may do some dumb things now and then but this does not make me stupid." (according to my definition)

Stupid can cover alot of things,but for me I view people as stupid if they don't think before they act. Because usually a little forethought can prevent mistakes. The embarassment issue is wrapped up in it too. People who don't think usually end up embarassed, and I don't like being embarassed or mocked. Standard operating procedure in my home growing up was to find a person's weakness and then call everyone's attention to it and make fun of them--loudly. Being sensitive, this usually brought me to tears, which in turn was mocked also.

So I know that's a complex definition, but that's what stupid is to me.

Ok i'm going to give an example before answering some of the responses. I just did this today.


-A Lazy person is someone who isn't constantly productive
-> Then nobody can be lazy because any activity that's being done produces something. Playing videogames can give someone a sense of accomplishment and thus increase confidence, meditation can help decrease stress, spending time on msn can help establish connection with other people, watching tv can help to relax, even doing nothing like lying down in bed resting or sleeping gives the body the chances to rest up and heal. Any activity we do is productive.


Mike

liberal1964...i'm not even sure what one to work with...you gave me a few labels and i'm actually feeling a little overwhelmed by it. Hmm ok lets work with the outsider one

Is it safe to say that an outsider is someone who isn't like anybody else and isn't understood by others?

Mike

Mary

Ok so a stupid person is someone that never does anything right and always makes mistakes and can't understand or comprehend anything.

Yes those are good responses. You cannot be a stupid person because you comprehended a computer program glitch fixed it, didn't make a mistake putting a bookcase without one mistake and balance your check book.

One thing I'd like to suggest is to look at all the everyday things you do that goes against this belief..ie you can tie your shoes right, you can walk, shower, brush your teeth and you can comprehend enough to conversate on this website and enough to go through this attacking anxiety and depression program.

How do you feel after reading this post? If you still feel like you are stupid then you may want to redefine stupid and try again.

Mike