Hi everyone!
My main reason for being here is to learn new ways of coping with and overcoming the depression that has consumed my life for so many years now. I am learning more about how anxiety fuels depression. Looking back at the last 20yrs or so I would say I have had several panic attacks. They have been few and far between thank goodness.
Until yesterday-that is. I have never had one that progressed as this one did. Of course I was in a public setting with my ex-boyfriend and our son. They have planned a trip to South America this summer and I needed to sign my permission and get the document notarized. I started out calmly filling out the papers when I started feeling sick in my stomach, short of breath, like my head was swimming and then I felt that wave of dread consume me. I ended up getting real nervous and shaky. I could no longer write or get it together. I'm not sure who this episode scared the most-probably me. My ex has never seen me like that and probably thinks I'm certifiable. My son was confused.
Finally I asked if I could sit down for a while. The lady at the bank got me some water and a peppermint candy. I distracted myself with small talk-all the while flooding my head with positive self talk. After about 10 or 15 min. I calmed somewhat and was able to sign-still a little shaky. It was over and I was so relieved.
After I finally got home I broke out into hives
itching all over. I took 2 benadryl and after about an hour I was able to nap. I woke up feeling relief and exhaustion.
Just when I thought OK, this is all behind me I developed other completely different symptoms. I cooked dinner but I couldn't eat. I got real sick in my stomach again and had to run to the bathroom repeatedly with ugh-diarrhea. I listened to the relaxation tape which helped me calm down. The aftermath of this completely awful experience I would describe as complete exhaustion. I tried to sleep-but it was like a combination of exhaustion what I am learning that I never knew before-the adrenaline rush.
I guess that I am hoping someone can read this post and say that they can relate and understand this. It was truly scary and really took a toll on me mentally and physically.
The good thing that came from this is that by the grace of God and what I am learning through the program-I got through this. I guess it's sort of like the light at the end of the tunnel.
It's just so lonely when your family and friends don't understand you. I am so glad that I found the program-for the first time in my life I feel like people get me. Well, I pray that we all have a blessed day.

Boy I've been there that's for sure. My first really bad panic attack like that happened to me several years ago while I was in St. Martin snorkeling. Talk about the worst place to have one. Mine happened exactly as you said..started off feeling a bit odd then a huge wave of fear and dread, followed by nausea. I had to break away from the group and swim back to the boat by myself. All I knew is that I needed to get out of there and fast. Could you imagine me getting sick in the water? Thats all I could think of...at least on the boat it wouldn't float to my group. Once I got on the boat I was ok...they got me some water but I was afraid to drink it (you know strange water). It was awful...my poor friend was upset by it because I think I scared her. Back then I didn't know it was a panic attack...this was way before I bought the program. I have also broken out in hives because of stress...I actually keep benedryl with me at all times. But anyway yes I can definitely relate...and are not alone.

Hi Tammy!
Thanks so much for your reply. It is so good to know that you relate and that I am not alone. The last panic attack I had prior to this one occured in the DMV. I begged my fiance to please just take me home-and we returned home with him shaking his head. Thank goodness for benadryl-I have to have it with me always too.
Take care!

Don't beat yourself up Jenn. I know how terrible these are. It is now in the past and get up and going again!

God bless!

Thank you so much Steven. Yes it is in the past and I will strive forward. You are always so kind compassionate in your posts. I thank God for meeting you and the other great people in the program.

Hi Tammy
ur really not alone that's for sure....
I get every now and then N it's bad everytime inside to me...But yes it does pass..Reading ur forum is a reassurance to me...It does help 2 know that sum1 else knows what ur goin through...