I just wanted to put this down in writing and see if anybody else can identify. My biggest problem seems to be self doubt and an unbelievable fear of failure. I have a great wife and family, we are all healthy, I have a good job and a good financial situation. However, I can't help but worry constantly that I will do something to screw it all up and make it all go down the drain. For instance, we are thinking of buying our first home. I worry constantly that once we spend the money and buy it, I will flip out and lose my job and the house and become a big failure to my wife and my family. My wife does not ever put this pressure on me - she is a God send! But - this fear is so frustrating because it always holds me back from taking chances and living life and making my life and my wife's better. This sucks...Any help would sure be appreciated.

Rip12:

There's an old counseling trick that might help you. Without sharing it with anyone, write out COMPLETELY and in as much detail as you can what your afraid of - - - write out what the very worst scenerio of your life would be. Ramble all you want and don't worry about grammar, etc. Don't hold back.

You might be surprised at how FEW things are really worrying you; it's just that those few things keep going round and round on the worry treadmill in your brain.

Once you face the fears you will be surprised at how they lose their steam.

When I have a worry (and write it in my Spiral Notebook that you will learn about in two weeks) I throw it away. It kinda goes from my head through my hand onto paper and then into the waste basket. I've read on this forum where some people burn their spiral pages.

GOOD LUCK! Betsy

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Always Hopeful, Betsy H.
Marietta, GA (East Cobb)

Rip12

You posted a while ago, but I hope you see this. I'm always afraid I'm gonna mess up my life somehow, that I'll do something so drastic that I'll lose everything. I haven't gotten to the spiral notebook thing yet, but I know that if we look at the reality of our lives, you have a job, home, etc. you got those things once, you can get them again. A friend of mine always says, play it to the end, meaning say to yourself, what if I did lose my job, then what? Id'd get another, what if I did this or that, take it to the extreme and you'll find that it is just the anxiety doihg it's number. Hope this made sense. And remember, you are not your anxiety.

Jeanne

Hi there! I wish i had more time to write just now....so for the meantime, i want to say that a very big 'core' issue with alot of us, IS this lack of confidence, and it is a big reason why we have anxiety and panic in the first place! If we had more confidence, then we wouldn't think as we do. So, what's so great and effective about this recovery program is that it addresses this very thing. By practicing Lesson 3 and all the subsequent ones, i bet you will begin to actually FEEL less doubtful. Our minds doubt, because we don't TRUST. And that began when we were quite little, i am sure. You'll find that at a certain point in working these lessons, you will trust more and doubt less. This is happening for me. I wish you all the best, Linda

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Linda

Linda,

I just had to respond. You are so right about the trust. I've never trusted, in myself or anything else in life working out. It's amazing. Thanks for letting me know this will change. I'm just finishing up week 1. Was doing good with it, excited and ready to go, now today I'm filled with fear and scared about the whole thing. I keep telling myself it's just anxiety about changing my life. But, I know myself, and I've sabotaged myself before, so I'm scard of doing that again. Any suggestions?

Jeanne

Hi Rip, Jeanne, and Linda!
I FEEL THAT WAY!! I feel like everyone thinks I'm so incompetant to do just about anything. "Did you turn the oven off?" "Are you SURE you took those movies back?" "The door is open-did you turn the heat off?" "Did you wash this before you cooked it?" On and on and on..... Anyway, I use to get angry (and still do) but I just try to keep my mouth shut. However I believe this is only making things worse. Now I am full of thoughts and feelins that I dare not express. Sorry, I'm not much help. Thanks for letting me vent! Ing