I have had my worst attack ever. Although this time, I was watching what I was doing when it happened. I have had this fear of going to the doctor for a physical. I am 41 years old and have not visited the doctor much in my lifetime. I went last year and the doctor gave me what amounted to a decent physical but the stress was something else. I do believe it is because I feel I have no control of the situation if there was a "What if I had something?" question. Anyway, I have gone through the third tape in the series. I faced my fear and made an appointment. Today, I saw the doctor on a preliminary visit and my blood pressure was high. I have monitored my blood pressure at home but it was not high like it was in the office. I explained my anxiety and they're going to check my thyroid but what was affecting me more than anything else is how much the panic attack grabbed me. I felt like everything I have gone through in the program was for nought or I lost something in the translation. I encouraged myself, I exercised, I tried to be compassionate to myself but that badgering voice of "what if" and "what would the doctor think" kept nagging at me all day. I am better now but any support would be greatly appreciated. I'm sure I'm going to be fine physically. Last year, there was nothing wrong with me in my last physical (other than the stress and blood pressure in the doc's office.

Cineruss,

your story really touched me. I can't offer any great suggestions or wonderful words of wisdom except to just let you know you're not alone. this disorder can be so immobilizing and so frustrating. Hang in there. I have terrible "what-if" thinking. I just started the program and am only on week 2, but am so grateful to have found this program and forum.

Jeanne

Cineruss,
Boy oh boy! I can relate! My doctor put me through many tests. I'm only 34 but everytime they saw me my blood pressure was off the charts. It only confirmed my thoughts that I was dying. Anyway, as Jeanne said, I don't have any advice-YET. But I'm hoping we'll all be able to help each other. You count on me-and I'll count on you. Deal?
I'll be writing. Ing

It is good to hear that there are those out there that understand. Thanks. I'll hang in there too. Keep up the good work. I am more determined now than ever to continue. I am not going to give up!

Cineruss,

your story really touched me. I can't offer any great suggestions or wonderful words of wisdom except to just let you know you're not alone. this disorder can be so immobilizing and so frustrating. Hang in there. I have terrible "what-if" thinking. I just started the program and am only on week 2, but am so grateful to have found this program and forum.

Jeanne[/QUOTE]



[This message has been edited by cineruss (edited 03-30-2001).]

Cineruss,
I'm scheduled to have a physical on Monday, and of course I'm nervous like hell. To top it off I get terrible IBS when going to doctors of any kind.

The only thing that is making me go is my child. You see my greatest fear is that if something happens to me, she'll be left to fend for herself and I don't want that. I want to set a good example for her. I also want to be able to stay healthy so that I can be of use to her.

This physical is also for me. The 'what ifs' are getting to me so much that I just want to know for sure if something is wrong.

So, I'm going to go and get checked- up. I went last year too but believe me, it doesn't get easier. Not yet, anyway.


[This message has been edited by cutufa (edited 03-30-2001).]

Let me know how it goes. I'm in your corner. BTW, I had some blood taken today as part of my physical. I don't mind getting stuck with the needles but I must admit, as soon as I walked in the doctor's office, I felt the attack coming. I tried to do what the book and tapes have said about panic attacks. It worked to some extent although my pressure was still high. It helped when the nurse started talking to me about other things. It is interesting to note that no one in the office brought that attack on but me. I am still trying to figure out why I have them. I guess I should just accept them.

quote:

Originally posted by cutufa:
Cineruss,
I'm scheduled to have a physical on Monday, and of course I'm nervous like hell. To top it off I get terrible IBS when going to doctors of any kind.

The only thing that is making me go is my child. You see my greatest fear is that if something happens to me, she'll be left to fend for herself and I don't want that. I want to set a good example for her. I also want to be able to stay healthy so that I can be of use to her.

This physical is also for me. The 'what ifs' are getting to me so much that I just want to know for sure if something is wrong.

So, I'm going to go and get checked- up. I went last year too but believe me, it doesn't get easier. Not yet, anyway.


[This message has been edited by cutufa (edited 03-30-2001).]

Cineruss, I'm so sorry that you had such a miserable experience at the doctor. I only have a couple of things to offer. First, take your "what-if" thoughts all the way out to conclusions. What if you had the worst panic attack in your entire life right there in the doctor's office? How bad could that be? After all, he or she is a doctor, trained to deal with all types of problems. Your doctor could surely understand the problem and offer you some assistance. At some point in time you will be able to say "So what if I have a panic attack!" It just takes time.

That takes me to my second point -- be compassionate with yourself. I remember feeling as if I had gone back to square one last summer because I was having problems with anxiety and had another panic attack after a long period without suffering any attacks. Try to change your perception of the event. Its okay to be nervous about going to the doctor. Lots of people who don't suffer from problems with anxiety and panic are nervous when they go into the doctor's office. Also, recovery is a process. Its not an "all or nothing" proposition. I've done that "two steps forward, one step back" dance for a while now. You have to give yourself credit for every little positive step you take. Good for you -- you went to the doctor. Many people would avoid the situation all together. Give yourself time and be patient with yourself. Counter that badgering "what-if" voice every chance you get. What if you went to the doctor and felt comfortable? What if you went to the doctor and were told that you were in great health? Wouldn't that be great? Hang in there -- it will get better!

Mountaingirl is right. It's 2 steps forward, 1 step back my friend. It will get easier. My friend actually passed out twice when she went to the doctor. She felt mortified, but the doctor told her, please don't feel bad at all, I've seen this happen hundreds of times! So, if that's the worst that could happen, then it's really not so bad, right? Try to remember that, draw out your what if's to their worst conclusion and then say "so what, it's no big deal!" at the end. Also try to get your other senses involved. Try to notice smells in the room, touch things and notice how they feel, walk around, talk to people. Stay in the present moment.

Cineruss: I did it!

I went to the doctors to get my annual physical. I used a lot of positive self talk to get through it. My stomach wasn't acting up for the first time in years. I didn't have to go to the bathroom at all. I was still nervous. Perhaps the fact that I couldn't eat anything because of lab test, helped me a little too.

I was so proud of myself. When I felt my heart beat faster I increase my self talk and rationalized everything. I even told her for the first time that coming to her office gives me anxiety.

What worked for me was treating my doctor as a regular person. I said to myself "she also has to go for pap test and get checked up/ I wonder if she has to go cook dinner after she is done with me?/" And so I went.

Hopefully I wont have to see her for another year. Now, I just have to wait for my test results.

Congratulations to you too :-) YOU DID IT!!!

Thank you Jbean64, mountaingirl, and cutufa for your help. It is so wonderful to have a support group. I am proud of all of you and your accomplishments. Your stories give me encouragement during this time in my life. I have to go back to the doctor for the rest of my physical in about twoo weeks. I will do my best to STAY IN THE PRESENT MOMENT.

Congratulations Cutufa on your visit to the doctor. You're way of seeing the doctor is really helpful. I think part of the fear is the embarassment of the procedure but understanding that we're all human (what else would we be <g> ) goes a long way.

2 steps forward 1 step back is also something I need to remember. So what if I had an attack, at least I went to the doctors office, I should be proud of that.

THANKS ALL OF YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR ENCOURAGEMENT!

quote:

Originally posted by cutufa:
Cineruss: I did it!

I went to the doctors to get my annual physical. I used a lot of positive self talk to get through it. My stomach wasn't acting up for the first time in years. I didn't have to go to the bathroom at all. I was still nervous. Perhaps the fact that I couldn't eat anything because of lab test, helped me a little too.

I was so proud of myself. When I felt my heart beat faster I increase my self talk and rationalized everything. I even told her for the first time that coming to her office gives me anxiety.

What worked for me was treating my doctor as a regular person. I said to myself "she also has to go for pap test and get checked up/ I wonder if she has to go cook dinner after she is done with me?/" And so I went.

Hopefully I wont have to see her for another year. Now, I just have to wait for my test results.

Congratulations to you too :-) YOU DID IT!!!

I took your advice to heart today. I normally get up with those badgering "what if" questions starting to eat at me. Well, this morning, after reading your message, I took a long walk and thought about what all the years of "what if" thinking have done for me. I came up with one answer, NOTHING. It was at that time that I starting seeing that way of thinking as the enemy to me. So, all day I literraly forced myself into thinking good thooughts. You know, I like it. I admit it is hard but I am starting to catch myself when I turn negative and switch it around to a positive. As a result, I felt less stressed today and more at ease.

I have to go back for the rest of my physical on April 19th. I am going to keep on working at thinking as positive as I can. Keep me in your thoughts.

As a little side note, I am also starting to see others differently through this process (more positively).

Thanks again for your encouragement.

quote:

Originally posted by mountaingirl:
Cineruss, I'm so sorry that you had such a miserable experience at the doctor. I only have a couple of things to offer. First, take your "what-if" thoughts all the way out to conclusions. What if you had the worst panic attack in your entire life right there in the doctor's office? How bad could that be? After all, he or she is a doctor, trained to deal with all types of problems. Your doctor could surely understand the problem and offer you some assistance. At some point in time you will be able to say "So what if I have a panic attack!" It just takes time.

That takes me to my second point -- be compassionate with yourself. I remember feeling as if I had gone back to square one last summer because I was having problems with anxiety and had another panic attack after a long period without suffering any attacks. Try to change your perception of the event. Its okay to be nervous about going to the doctor. Lots of people who don't suffer from problems with anxiety and panic are nervous when they go into the doctor's office. Also, recovery is a process. Its not an "all or nothing" proposition. I've done that "two steps forward, one step back" dance for a while now. You have to give yourself credit for every little positive step you take. Good for you -- you went to the doctor. Many people would avoid the situation all together. Give yourself time and be patient with yourself. Counter that badgering "what-if" voice every chance you get. What if you went to the doctor and felt comfortable? What if you went to the doctor and were told that you were in great health? Wouldn't that be great? Hang in there -- it will get better!

Cineruss,

I totally have been there and done what you have many times before. Early on in the program, I had made an appointment and just as I got out of the car to walk to the office I began to have an attack like no other attack, I tried everything, as I was signing in my eyes were blurry, my heart raced and every step I took felt like my last. I no sooner signed the book and they called me in, I was wishing I had more time to get it together. Of course when the nurse came in she took my blood pressure and said oh my it's pretty high. She wrote it down and with her words came another wave of panic, well I thought I'm a goner now, it's all over. I'm picturing them taking me our on a crash cart and on and on I went. When the doctor came in he said how are you and I just blurted out, I'm nervous and I have panic attacks. He talked to me and asked me what was going on in my life, I of course began to give him song and verse, a couple waves of panic, then all of a sudden I was feeling more at ease that I had shared this problem with him, he asked if he could take my blood pressure again and I said ok and he said don't worry it's already coming down. I then told him about the program and they want me to exercise but I was afrais and on and on I went and he assured me that exercise would be the best thing for me and the anxiety.

So I guess I said all that to say, that I would suggest that you share with your doctor about your anxiety. It's amazing how many people like us they see every year. I even told my dentist, now I don't feel that panicky when I go. I think it's the fact they know. Don't get me wrong, sometimes I'll still get that wave of fear, but I remember that time I didn't think I was going to make it out and I try and remember after I left the office a total calm came over me.

I also wanted to tell you, shortly after that horrifying visit I find myself from time to time worrying that my blood pressure is always up, so much so, that one day I thought I could feel the blood rushing to my head, I was sure it was going to pop, I worked myself up into such a panic that I drove myself up to the local pharmacy and took my blood pressure and while my pulse was up to around 100 because I was panicking, do you know that my blood pressure was 110/74, instantly I calmed down, my heart slowed down almost immediately.

What this shows all of us is just how powerful our minds are. Just remember too that we've been in training for these panic attacks for so long, we just need to continue to work harder to train ourselves to react differently to the fear that we feel sometimes.

I hope it helps to know I DO UNDERSTAND!! Try and relax, practice relaxation and do get exercising in some way. Walking is even good. Don't worry about your blood pressure and next nice just share with your doctor that you have panic attacks, it really seemed to help me. The more you share, the more you find you're not alone. Just look at this web site!!!

Have a great day and relax!!!

quote:

Originally posted by cineruss:
I have had my worst attack ever. Although this time, I was watching what I was doing when it happened. I have had this fear of going to the doctor for a physical. I am 41 years old and have not visited the doctor much in my lifetime. I went last year and the doctor gave me what amounted to a decent physical but the stress was something else. I do believe it is because I feel I have no control of the situation if there was a "What if I had something?" question. Anyway, I have gone through the third tape in the series. I faced my fear and made an appointment. Today, I saw the doctor on a preliminary visit and my blood pressure was high. I have monitored my blood pressure at home but it was not high like it was in the office. I explained my anxiety and they're going to check my thyroid but what was affecting me more than anything else is how much the panic attack grabbed me. I felt like everything I have gone through in the program was for nought or I lost something in the translation. I encouraged myself, I exercised, I tried to be compassionate to myself but that badgering voice of "what if" and "what would the doctor think" kept nagging at me all day. I am better now but any support would be greatly appreciated. I'm sure I'm going to be fine physically. Last year, there was nothing wrong with me in my last physical (other than the stress and blood pressure in the doc's office.