As a few of you know, I've been spending some time learning more about self-help in other sources. I'm also doing meditation, chanting and I'm doing the one thing that gives me the most pleasure and that's singing.

I've recently learned how to motivate myself to do things in a way that instead of slowly declining in motivation...it is actually growing stronger and stronger everyday and I'm realizing more and more that my life can be so much better. Myself and every one of you people out there have soooooooooo much potential. I have spent the last almost 5 years now with this program and put effort into getting better but still somewhat letting myself get satisfied with having a life that was just "ok" and not "good" or "great" or "Amazing" even. I'M SERIOUS NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

What i'm sick of is letting myself be controlled with this anxiety and just cutting myself off of the rest of the world and "waiting" for a day where I feel better. This is absolute crap and I REFUSE to continue living this way. I REFUSE to live my life in fear, I REFUSE to not be healthy and to let my goals rot like something that just recently died. I keep telling myself that I can't do this and I can't do that and I'll never overcome this....BS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm going to do what I believe to be my purpose on this earth and that is to help people to the best of my extent. So Things definately have to change.

I'm WILL be more deligent with making my food, I just joined a gym and just signed up for a personal trainner, I'm working on becoming better at singing and working on enjoying life. I deserve to have a good life, just like anybody else, Just like all you guys too.

NO MATTER HOW LONG IT IS GOING TO TAKE, I WILL KEEP TRYING UNTIL I GET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Mike

You just echoed how I felt after my episode at the bank today. I've been angry and depressed most of the day from it. I can take anxiety, but the ibs thing I experience is just terrible. Sometimes I think it's just an automatic response that I have no control over, that just seems to pop out of nowhere unexpectedly.

Good for you I say. Sometimes you just have to get angry at it and say enough is enough. You are certainly on your way to recovery Mike. God bless you!

Great Job Mike....when I got to the point you are now at my life changed....being sick and tired of being sick and tired...finally seeing that if I did not take control and change panic anxiety and self medicating were going to decide my life for me....and it was not going to be good...

Keep up the good work...fight the good fight...I can't wait to see what grand changes that are on the way for you....keep us posted...Congrats.

YOU GO MIKE!!!!!!

gosh, reading your post just pushes my motivation further...

i think a lot of MY anxiety has a lot to do with letting what "i believe" people are thinking or saying about me - which is total crap - control me which leads to my negative issues....i think this stops me from being more social, getting more involved, taking the lead and you all know eveything else that we hope we could do more of....

everything begins and ends with ourselves...i love that your sick and tired of limiting yourself and as you've mentioned in your post, we all are and we all deserve so much more than what we allow ourselves.....push forward with your new attitude, continue to realize your self worth (i'm working on this myself) and when saying to yourself, "who cares what they're thinking, i'm going for it anyway," don't say it calmly....shout it to yourself with gusto..."WHO CARES WHAT THEY'RE THINKING...I KNOW MY SELF-WORTH AND I'M GONNA DO IT BECAUSE I CAN!!"

....then go ahead and do it, whatever you're gonna do!!!

Hi Mike - Applause to you. I feel like we are going through this journey together, we always seem to be on this site at the same time.

I was at a really bad place last year at this time and was just sick and tired of being sick and tired when I got this Program. I worked it like a full time job, started therapy, started meditation, started eating right and started to work out every single day.

Your posts are very inspiring - I read them everytime I come to MWC site.

Good luck to you with all of your endeavors and know that your friends on this site are supporting you 100% and are going through this journey with you, too.

Lisa

Great job Mike!!

This is the attitude that wins the battle!! Keep up your hard work and determination. I did the same thing you are doing now..... stirring up the gift that is within you to be better, stronger....

Stay strong and don't look back unless it's to remember where you've been.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: sunset34,

Hey Mike. Great post. Once again I am inspired and challenged to move out of my comfort zone. Not to settle for less than what I have the potential to become.

Before I read your post, I was having a difficult moment guilting over a mistake I made in the past,20 years ago. Worrying over something I did, not having used the best judgement. Like worrying and beating myself up was going to change anything? Then I found your post and it gave me the kick in the pants that I needed.

I am so sick of beating myself up. I am so sick of feeling like I never measure up to this idea I have of myself. I am so sick of the negative voices that seem to be screaming at me that I am never good enough and that I should have known better. I am so sick of living in the past and obessessing over mistakes. I am sick of feeling like crap.

It reminds of the song: "We're not gonna take it, we're not gonna take, we're not gonna take it anymore!

I think I'm going to go sing for awhile. Thanks. Take care and God Bless.

Thank you all for your supportive words. Recently I've come to learn that the negative emotions that we have are messages to change our perception or procedure.

-Fear tells us that we need to get prepared

-Hurt feelings tell us that some expectations of ours have not been met.

-Anger feelings tell us that someone has violated one of our rules


-Frustration tells us that our approach isn't working so we need to change it.

-Dissapointment tells us that the expectation we have is probabbly not going to happen unless we change our expectation & make it more appropriate for the situation at hand. Make the goal more appropriate for where you are right now! It's also a major part of anxiety. Ask yourself this...Did you plan to have something in too short a time?

-Guilt/Regret tells us that we've violated one of our own standards and we need to make sure that we do not violate it again.



-Inadequacy tells us that we need to work to grow in whatever field we're looking at right now. Sometimes this can be taken too far though so it is good to ask yourself, Am I really Inadequate or am I having rediculous expectations? Are my rules too harsh?

Finally -Overloaded feelings tell us that we're expecting too much in too short of time. We're expecting everything to be perfect overnight and in that case you need to sit down and write out all the things that are most important to accomplish and put them in order of priority. Take the first thing and do something about it. Then move onto the second. You don't have to do these things all in one day. Spread them out over a couple days or even weeks if you need to.



If you ignore these feelings then they grow more intense. Wouldn't you say? For instance, If you had to write a paper for a class and you had originally had 1 month to write it and then it got down to 2 weeks and you started to get fear but didn't do anything about it...how would you feel if you let it go until the night before you had to hand it in? Would you feel less afraid or more afraid? Would you feel less certain that you can manage that or more certain? Would you have less anxiety or more?

All of these feelings you could be having may not even be realistic at all. In this case you need to ask yourself,what is it that I need to believe in order to feel the way I am now. Is this reasonable for where I am right now? If it isn't then maybe what you need to do is change your perception on things. Maybe your procedure or behavior needs to change.



Part of my frustration with how I'm feeling with always feeling tired, lethargic and having anxiety is that I'm always just "enduring" these emotions or ignoring them and regardless of how intense they are right now, I'm going to work with them. I want my life back!


Mike

Mike ...good words!

"Fear tells us that we need to get prepared"

Fear helps us determine what area we need to work on. It is a reminder that it's time to challenge something by confronting the situation while reminding ourselves the truth.

Take time each day to just close your eyes and "let go". Visualize yourself with no more struggles, no more fears...release your muscles and become as limp as possible. Imagine not having to think about this anymore.... just accepting life for what it is. Then take the time to focus on something outside of yourself. Practice being in the "here and now"...whether it is someone you are talking to, a meal you are eating, a movie you are watching....give your full attention to these things. It really helps to give your introspection a break!

Hey sunset thank you. I'm glad to see many of the Veterans are still around.

That let go exercise you mention sounds really rewarding and stress reducing. I actually schedual a time in the day where I do my own personal time to me, I do some chanting, some meditation and visualizing and this would be a perfect addition.

I actually just got fired this morning and so I don't have to think about doing that old job that I hate anymore or the struggles involved and that feeling gives me hope. If I could feel this everytime I meditated on the letting go, I would be very happy

You also mentioned about accept life for what it is. What is your perception on acceptance?


Mike

Mike,
Thank you for you posts. I'm going to print out the last one about what are emotions are trying to tell us and put in on my fridge. I will use it as a reminder, a call to action when I'm having a 'negative' feeling instead of using those feelings as an excuse to do nothing. I love it! Thanks!!

I am realizing that my moods and fears come in cycles where sometimes I feel very brave, confident and untouchable while other times I'm feeling insecure, vulnerable and weak. I think many things come into play with it:

1) My diet - I'll be careful with what I eat and when I'm feeling very in control sometimes I'll eat a lot of what I shouldn't (sweets, grains, etc.) that tend to trigger my issues.

2) My hormones - as a woman there are certain times of the month that my hormones play a huge part in the way I can handle myself in certain situations. I think this is true of men, as I have heard that testosterone levels fluctuate monthly in a very similar way.

3) The weather - I think the lack of sun or extreme cold has a big effect on my feelings - when it is cloudy I'm not getting the benefits of positive mood from the light, even if I am indoors.

4) Movement/exercise - when I am exercising regularly I am displacing a lot of that nervous energy, it really does work. Over the holidays I miss out on that a lot which usually results in my issues being more dominant.

So during these cycles, when I have had my weak moments I say "enough is enough!" and start eating better, exercising, etc. which always helps. But then when I am in control and confident I tend to get lax in the way I take care of myself. Then things will start spiraling down and I get mad and take matters into my hands again. With the hormones and weather, of course we have no control over, but we do with our thoughts, food and fitness.

So the key to this is, for me at least, is to always be consistent.

quote:

You also mentioned about accept life for what it is. What is your perception on acceptance?

My perception of accepting is to accept the things you cannot change and when there is something you can change- to do your best and accept your own imperfections along the way.

I also think that at times, anxiety is acceptable under certain circumstances but by no means do I think that we are to live according to our feelings but rather the truths that are set before us.

goodwillchic
You're welcome. Like i said it did come from an outside source and I found it very helpful. I didn't think about this either but I think i'll put this on my fridge as well. Thanks for the idea.

Shifrah
Yes you're right, that we have these cycles and it is unfortunate but when we get to a place where things aren't as hectic, we take less time and effort to work on those things. In the Tao Shiatsu classes I take we learned alot of things but one of the most important things is that, we need to be greatful for what we have and feel good for our accomplishments but not stay satisfied with where we are. There is a saying, If we aren't growing then we're dying.

sunset34

quote:

My perception of accepting is to accept the things you cannot change and when there is something you can change- to do your best and accept your own imperfections along the way.

I get confused with this. I mean in any situation you can do something to change it. Praying for it is even something that can bring a change.


My idea of acceptance is that we accept who and where we are in life, right now. We accept why we have the things (physical, mental, emotional) and the whole reality of it. It means not fighting it but not letting it rule our lives.

I think alot of people (I've been there too), have thought acceptance was to accept that whatever we have is what we have to live with forever and is unchangeable.

Mike

quote:

I get confused with this. I mean in any situation you can do something to change it. Praying for it is even something that can bring a change.

You can't change reality like when someone dies in your family or someone suddenly gets sick with a disease. That is basically what I am talking about.

We CAN, however, change our perspective or our reaction to life but we can't control everything that happens all the time.

Kind of like "when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade".

I don't find this confusing at all. To accept what we can, accept what we can't and make a decision to react in a more positive way.

We always have the choice to change what we don't like by the reaction we choose.

I agree-praying can bring change!