This is the first thread I have started (I've been replying to some that I can relate to), I've made it to the 2'nd tape and it was suggested that I start facing some fears I have. I believe that my biggest fear is conversing in large groups of people. I do good in smaller crowds but a bunch of folks will (8 out of 10 times) make me shy and quiet. I like having friends (should have more) but sometimes I'm not the first one to start talking.
I go out and function in the world and I feel I'm a descent guy. It also said that we may need help doing the things we may not feel all excited to do (giving us the panic attacks). I've been using the skills to help with the other stressful things in my life (stopped drinking, and not letting things bother me so much). Anyone have any luck get over these things?



Lite

It's never too soon to start! I think the sooner you start facing your fears the easier it will become and the better you will feel later on. I can certainly relate to being in large groups of people...social anxiety was one of my fears, big time. I hated going anywhere where I didn't know people or heck I hated going anywhere with a large amount of people even if I did know them. I was very self conscious (sp?) of myself...couldn't even eat in front of people...I would literally sit there and starve rather than eat anything. Once I started facing this fear through the program and realized that the whole world isn't infact looking at me, I started to realize how silly the fear was. Like I'm the only one who fumbles over words or I'm the only one whose missed their mouth while eating...things I would ponder over obsessivly in my head to cause to not to want to go out. 99% of my fear was made up in my head...and the other 1%...the people I was with could care less. I go out all the time now...in fact I have a party to go to in the back room of a bar on friday for dinner and drinks and I'm looking forward to it. Keep at it...you'll do great!

Thanks for the reply Tammy, I did go out to do some more job searching today and there was a opening ceremony (public) near the shop I was going to . They where not open yet so I walked down to the event, there where many important people talking on the stage but it was mostly for the big-wigs who started the project. I felt some slight stress but it was not all that bad, it had been a while (a few weeks) since I’d been in a large group of people so I gave it a go.
I gave up drinking a few months ago so I must look to other forms of socializing that going to a bar (not that I think that is bad). I do think I will stay on coarse with the program as I do see some things that I didn’t before and it was suggested (not forced to) that I find some assistance with my anxiety.
I know I heard the advertisement on the radio about a million times and thought, "maybe I need more help". But remembered the way the drugs I was put on made me feel funny and some cases worse.


Lite

Lite,
Most of the human race has fear to some degree of conversing in large groups. Fear not, you're not alone. It's easy to chat one on one or with a small group of people. There's no "performance" expectation in those situations.This is generally self inflicted, but it exists anyway. Throw more and more people into the group and most people back away or just observe. Odd how we all think at one time or another that we should automatically feel comfortable speaking in front of an audience of sorts. Very few people do.
There are great books to help with this -
In The Spotlight"by J.E. Esposito
How To Speak So People Will Listen by Steve Brown,
Many, Many more books on this because there is a tremendous need for them.

Keep moving forward with the program and practice every chance you get. Even if it's just a few words or one word spoken in a group. Test it out. Take baby steps.
Hugs .

quote:

Posted August 01, 2007 05:41 PM Hide Post
Lite,
Most of the human race has fear to some degree of conversing in large groups. Fear not, you're not alone. It's easy to chat one on one or with a small group of people. There's no "performance" expectation in those situations.This is generally self inflicted, but it exists anyway. Throw more and more people into the group and most people back away or just observe. Odd how we all think at one time or another that we should automatically feel comfortable speaking in front of an audience of sorts. Very few people do.
There are great books to help with this -
In The Spotlight"by J.E. Esposito
How To Speak So People Will Listen by Steve Brown,
Many, Many more books on this because there is a tremendous need for them.

Keep moving forward with the program and practice every chance you get. Even if it's just a few words or one word spoken in a group. Test it out. Take baby steps.
Hugs .

Hey thanks for the reply Cindylou, I'm not much on reading books (more of a movie/documentary guy) but I will do some more research on it. I'm sure I can find something on the web on video disc/tape. I just finished tape 2 for the 3rd time (doing 3X a week on each session) and will start tape 3 on Saturday.

Thanks for the hug to it was very kind of you.
Lite