I need some good advice and I need it quick!

My kids are going to be off of school all of next week, and I get really bad panic attacks when they are home. Especially in the morning. I get really afraid that something terrible will happen to me in front of them. Which of course produces tremendos anxiety then comes the panic attack and then the vicous cycle begins. I know my fears are irrational but of course knowing that doesn't help much.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated-HELP!

Mellie

[This message has been edited by mellie (edited 03-27-2001).]

Mellie:

Write out in much detail the worst scenario you can imagine that you are afraid might happen. Then write a more realistic dialogue of what probably will happen.

Also, this helped me and I heard it from another place. Not really sure where. Anyway, today write down what you're afraid of, e.g., "I'm afraid to go to the grocery because I am afraid I will panic or pass out in front of everyone and be really embarrassed. Or I might even die right there in the check out lane." Then after I get back from the grocery I write what REALLY happened.

That type of writing has been very good for me, especially this past summer when my panic got a lot worse after moving.

Then you just tear up the pages and throw them away. It is similar to the spiral notebook assignment.


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Always Hopeful, Betsy H.
Marietta, GA (East Cobb)

[This message has been edited by EastCobbGABetsyH (edited 03-27-2001).]

Mellie: Me again. How old are your children? I know that when my children were home when they were younger was very hard. I was always worried they would get kidnapped or hit by a car, etc.

Besides that I was just panicky and disorganized all the time.

What appeared to be almost anal to my family was something that really helped. I drew out a calendar for the week and marked what we would be doing every day. Children do better when they know what to expect. They say Mom can we.....? And you say, just a minute let me think about it for a minute. Let me look at our schedule for today and see. Don't ever answer them immediately. Tell them to be quiet and not to beg and you will think about it. Stay off of the phone. That really is stressful with kids around.


Here's an example of what I would put on the refrigerator when they were younger.
8AM - Eat breakfast
9AM - Clean our rooms
9:30 - Go to the grocery.
10AM - Fold laundry together,
11AM - If everyone has been helpful and following directins, we'll go to McDonalds.
12Noon - Go to the library and read quietly.
1-3PM - Everyone plays quietly. Rent some videos and video games.
3PM - Start dinner.
4-5PM - No one bothers Mommy while she sits and watches Oprah. (and during this time if they ask you a question, you ignore them). Only tell them on commercials that at 5Pm they can talk to you.


ETC.

Dear Betsy,

Thank you so much for the great advice! I especially like the one about the calander on the refridgerator, all though both of them seem as if they would help a great deal. I hadn't thought about doing either one of those things.

I am so glad for this forum. I am fairly new to it and all ready people like you have helped me a great deal. I only hope that my advice will be just as benificail to others.

By the way my daughter is 10 and my son is 14 but he is mentally retarded. And I can definatly relate to the "kidnaping" thing. when my kids are outside I barely even sit down. I'm allways looking out the window for fear they will be taken.

Thanks again Betsy, I really appreciate it!

Mellie

P.S. I'll let you know how it goes.

[This message has been edited by mellie (edited 03-27-2001).]