Hi, I'm new here and I am on week 2 of the program. I was wanting to know if anyone can relate to this: Sometimes I will feel GREAT, I mean almost ecstatic, thinking I must be mastering the techniques, and then an anxious episode(usually leading to full panic mode)comes out of nowhere. Sometimes, though it is vice versa; I will panic, and then, after about 20min I feel ecstatic! I don't get it! Why do I have these mood swings like this? Sometimes I feel I am bipolar or something! Its like someone else is manning the controls in my brain and is making me feel real happy, then depressed and anxious, all in a matter of 30 min!

Hi Cyberman,

Yes, I've had swings like that. Sometimes, when I'm ecstatic, I wonder how hard I'll fall.

Helen

I think there could be several reasons for this:

I find that I, too, sometimes am very, very elated after a panic attack has ended. I think that's very normal. I mean, an extremely distressing situation has passed. It feels good! So, some elation would make sense.

Also, I know that I tend to be, like Lucinda described, a "magical thinker." I have it in my head there certain days are "good" and others will be "bad." I also tend to think that if I feel "too" happy, that something bad is going to happen. So, sometimes, if my mood changes quickly from elated to sad or anxious, I think that's why: because *I* did it with my thoughts! I got so wrapped up in the fact that the "elation" was a sign that things were going to be getting bad very soon that I worked myself into a depressed or anxious state.

I know that I need to work on accepting that feelings are *always* changing. They always will. No feeling, good or bad, stays forever. We'll feel anxious, and it will pass; we'll feel happy, and it will pass; we'll feel depressed, and it will pass. I know that I get myself into trouble when I start forgetting that: when I obsess that my anxious or depressed feelings are NEVER going to go away (which is just not true), or when I worry that being happy is a sign of something bad to come (which also isn't true).

We're not going to be happy all of the time, even after the program. Yeah, part of me feels like that sucks. But, that's life, and I think that's what I'm trying to learn to deal with: that I can get up and function every day, even when things aren't feeling "ideal."

Hi Cyberman! I've gone through something like that this week, in fact. After spending quite a bit of time with Lesson 2, I experienced something close to ecstasy...i also had such am amazing success last Sunday(i've had severe panic for many years) so that i almost believed something fundamental in me had changed, i'd 'got it' and now i'd be free, free to go anywhere i'd like. Well, that's how it felt that day. And then i realized that just the day before, i'd had a miserable panic attack which happened much closer to home (i've been almost agoraphobic) so where and when i've been having them lately seems to be arbitary. What occured to me was what i have been told many,many times about this panic disorder. That is..... that it most likely won't happen that i'm suddenly free of it (after so long) just because i now understand that i'm the one causing it to happen. Knowing this can be very freeing inside, cause it means that i can also prevent them! Yeah!! It's so exciting to imagine getting my life back again. (also scary) I experienced panic just walking around my home today! That doesn't ever happen. I know it's because i am now facing a huge challenge, working this program and Anxiety is a part of it.....Of course i'm anxious!! I think having the attacks, after i'd imagined and hoped they would suddenly 'disappear' like magic.... is to show me that there is no way around it....i HAVE to practice, over and over, the steps. BECAUSE without doing this, let's say ihave a whole year of freedom from panic, and then suddenly, out of the blue, a huge one happens. Well, i wouldn't have any way of dealing with it, no tools, i would have learned nothing. And so that's my lesson here. I HAVE to go through the means to the end. I hope this is somehow relevant to what you posted. I also can experience feelings of being very high and also very low and i'm not manic or depressive. All that self-talk in lesson 3 can help you with ALL your feelings. I wish us both alot of good fortune....keep at it! Linda

------------------
Linda

WOW! I feel better now that I am not alone here! Thank you all SO much for responding, for a minute there I thought I was bipolar! You guys are all so wonderful in helping each other out here, I guess thats why they made this forum. I really can't wait to get to lesson 3 now (I'm on scedule to begin it Monday)the self talk. Because after a big attack, It will sometimes leave me feeling kind of "fuzzy" or just this very uneasy feeling. I guess on a scale of 1 to 10 Its like a constant 3 just lingering there, making me feel uneasy. Like a smoldering fire, that if I really concentrate on it, can bring on an attack. Will lesson 3 help me with this? I have had good experience with lesson 2, I am not as afraid of the panic attacks anymore, but this lingering uneasyness drives me NUTS!! Any thoughts?

Hey CyberMan,

I saw your message and I instantly thought phew! this guy is going through what I am ... Anyhow I posted something similar in the mood swings section of this forum... I have mood swings as well for the last few months ... I notice that I go from being down and within a few minuites feeling happy and up ... I obsessed that I was for sure Bipolar but my doctors told me "Hell No" ... sometimes Its hard to belive them because of the way I feel ... When I get down its nothing extreme in the sense I feel suicidal (defeinitley not) but just down and mellow and I feel panicky and anxious etc ... then 10 minuites later I will get restless and happy and energetic I will just have to do something like drive or walk or burn of that energy ... Feeling good scares me because I get afraid I will just loose control and start jumping off the walls or somthing but I have never felt that high lol ... both situations either feeling good or down make me anxious cause I get really restless while feeling good ... and irritable like I just wanna jump outta my skin or something ... its a nasty feeling ... anyhow I can relate my friend I have been experiencing it for a while ... How long have you had this issue? ... most say they experience it once in a while or for a few weeks mine has lasted a few months ... My Pdoc tells me that its anxiety and a part of my personality which I am only noticing now cause the anxiety makes us notice it ... If you look back before Panic hit ya you will see that you have had these ups and down .. everyone does ... you just didnt notice it or think twice about it back then and just floated with it or went with it ... with anxiety its a never ending circle that "Oh No" something is wrong ... when in fact its not ...Even though its hard to belive once you experience it ... it is the truth ... I guess anxiety can manifest itself in many ways ... I obsessed I was Bipolar or loosing my mind and developing something serious like BIpolar or schizo or something bad ... these irrational thoughts would not leave and they still dont but they are under control ... I anaylse almost every move I make to make sure its not abnormal and stuff ... I have become a pretty bad Hypochondriac ... I just feel more pyschological vulnerable to other things since panic hit me which again is not true according to the 10 doctors I have seen .. My situation is odd because I have had no Trauma in my life ... nobody from generations in my family ever had any sort of mental/emotional illness .... I come from a fairly wealthy family and my parents are super loving ... its odd how this hit me but it did ...
Anyhow let me know how these mood swings are going and how your handling them?

-Sachin
21 Year old Male / Toronto

PanicManSach,
Hey thanks for relating! I guess that before I got the panic attacks, i was pretty moody also, so that helped. Every time that I feel really good and excited, I think "I better enjoy this, because who knows when I will come crashing down." and that makes me mad, because of course I want to feel happy all the time! (yeah, I know....no one is happy all the time)I guess if I were to sum it up I would say that the worst part of being moody like this is that it REALLY, REALLY FEELS like I am not in control of my emotions, even though I know I am. They just seem to come and go as they please, taking me way up, and then in a matter of minutes, back down to earth. I deal with it by just going about my business and totally involving myself in the moment, and telling my self "it's no big deal". I am in the early stages of the program, so I am still learning.

Hi Cyberman and PanicManSach: Man, can I relate? I have never had such mood swings as I have had lately. They have been out of control. To know that I can control them is very comforting, I do find it mentally and emotionally and physically exhausting though.It makes you wonder whether everyone that is diagnosed with bipolar disorder first had GAD because that is what has happened to me my G.P. said that I had severe G.A.D. then now my other doctor thinks I have always been bipolar my whole life. I have all the symptoms and personality traits of G.A.D. and depression. We have to concentrate not on the condition but the hope that we are all getting better and we are on our way. God Bless Everyone big. We need Him to help us with our fight.