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Stress Center Community Forums "Attacking Anxiety & Depression" Program Session 2 - Six Steps Designed to Put an End to Panic Attacks Help, why is this happening to me??|
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I'm sitting here crying and feeling like a failure. I'm currently going through the coaching program, I wasn't having any success on my own, so I needed the additional help that the Midwest Center offered me. I am currently working on Session 7 Assertive Behavior. I was absolutely on cloud nine, I've been exercising, making dietary changes and taking vitamins, gotten a complete physical and feeling like I was never going to get a panic attack again with my new skills.
I left for work this morning and I was actually feeling very relaxed and well. I have been taking my tapes with me to work and playing them in my ear throughout the day/relaxtion along with my current learning session and some of the earlier tapes, especially 6 Ways to Put an end to Panic Attacks. I began my day as usual....when all of a sudden, I felt a couple of pains in my mid-section, then thought about the those same pains I had yesterday, and ended up with a full blown panic. What did I do? I ran home, I actually left work and have called out sick. I'm feeling like I've had a major set back, I've been so good for almost a month, what's happending to me?? I can't seem to get a grip of myself. I'm journaling, playing my tapes and all that keeps coming back in my mind, I keep thinking that this is not a panic attack, I think I may have something very seriously wrong, because I have a grip on my panic so there must be something wrong. I'm still having a few pains and I keep adding to my fears that something is wrong, I'm trying everything to STOP this thinking. I know I'm doing it to myself, why can't I stop it this time. I'm so scared, I can't imagine this thing coming back again. Has this ever happened to any of you? What did you do??? I can not tell you how helpless I'm feeling right now, much less a failure at this program. I intend on talking to my sponser tonight also, but I wanted to check in to see if I'm all alone in this thing. Of course my husband says go to the doctor, which is re-enforcing my mind that something is wrong. I'm caught in a vicious cycle and I can't get out. Looking for any and all the help I can get. While I wait, I'm practicing my breathing and I'm listening to my tapes. I looked through all the other posted notifications and responses and I'm feeling just about all that and then some. Thank you so much for any sharing or suggestions you may have!! Waiting patiently and panicky in New Jersey!! |
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Hi! I'm in NJ, too, so I'm sure today's lousy weather isn't helping your mood any! All I can say is, hang in there--you are going to be fine
 .Don't beat yourself up about this--you're not a failure. You just feel into some old, negative thinking patterns, it sounds like to me. You said that you are worried that it's not just a panic attack and that that proverbial and always-ominous something is wrong. Well, that's probably why you are having trouble calming down. Until you can fully accept that, even after all this time, it is still anxiety, and just anxiety, it probably won't totally pass. Hopefully you're already feeling better, since it's been a while. Don't let the feeling ruin your day!  |
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Thanks for your reply, I am still struggling a little. I was actually thinking of exercising. I think in the next couple of hours I may just try it. I think after I'll listen to a couple more tapes, especially the relation one. I'm still having this helpless feeling and am puzzled how this panic seemed to come out of the blue. I was feeling great, on cloud nine.
Thanks so much for your words of encouragement. I do know that I am falling into the old thinking, which I thought I was passed, but apparently I need some more work. I began journaling after I sent the email and I'm finding I'm feeling a little stressed over a couple a of things at work and with my son. So I guess in retrospect it really did not come out of the blue. I guess I was just so disappointed when I didn't properly apply my new skills. I think I need to fast forward to the What if thinking tape. I'm going to wait to see if my coach has any words of wisdom tonight on our phone appointment. Thanks so much again and I'm not going to let this ruin my day. It's really nice to know there are people out there who can relate and care what I'm going through!! Thanks so much again!!
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Although not always possible, when I feel like a panic attack coming on, I exercise. The last time I just went out for a brisk walk. When I came back, I was still sad and upset but felt more in control of the feelings which came over me.
Exercise does help me a lot. It was given me a lot of confidence, to say the least. Try it... I also got a dog which forces me to have to go out in all kinds of weather to exercise her. |
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Thanks for the words of encouragement. I did just that, I put on my aerobic tape and went to town.
I'm feeling better this evening. I'm trying to stop myself from getting anxious about what tomorrow brings. Thanks so much again!!
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*Lindi* |
Hi there! It touched me so much reading what you wrote, and what you've been through today. This is in no way..unfamiliar to me. Especially when you feel that something fundamental has changed, and then you get 'zapped' with a full-fledged attack! It can be so discouraging and despairing. It happened that way for a reason. Please try to talk to yourself with alot of compassion, respect and understanding right now. If i had stomach pains two days in a row, and i thought there might be something 'wrong', my habitual reaction would be to panic. Of course, the ideal way would have been to be able to immediately use all the tools we are learning. But, we have to accept that this is the Ideal. You said you later discovered there were things bothering around work, etc.. And i thought, "oboy, we really have to be applying these lessons to EVERYTHING, all the time, in order to not let things slip out of our awareness. Cause when we don't deal with them as they are happening, out they can come....in their old familiar way...panic. Sounds like quite a job to do this!!! But i am sure that after a while, it becomes second nature to automatically deal with things on the spot. If you are now adding secondary fear thoughts like (oh no, what if this happens again!!) then please use lessons 2 and 3 right now, to calm yourself. By the way, i would certainly make an appt. at the doctor's, just to get the pain checked out. Why not? That's not a neurotic thing to do...it makes sense. I truly feel for you and let's keep working at this, cause...as corny as it sounds...we really ARE worth all the effort. Regards, Linda
------------------ Linda |
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Hi Fourchestnut: Please don't give up. You are not a failure. Set-backs are normal. You have to talk yourself back up. Whatever you do don't do anything rash and float through it. It definitely will pass. Say This too shall pass. I was numb and was feeling soooooooo down yesterday, forced myself to go out with friends, we all prayed and now I feel great again and I have the fight back. Keep up the good work and Never Give Up. You are on the right track. I have to talk to myself like this all the time. Force yourself to do something you usually enjoy to do like exercise.
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Thanks for responding. I had had thoughts of not going to work today because I feared, the another attack. This website inspired me so with all the caring people, I actually got off line and began my exercise program.
I came to the conclusion that I've avoided exercising so long that the pains in my middle section who from the exercising I've been doing. While I was exercising I was trying to focus on where the exercises were targeting and low and below, right in my mid-section. Twisting, bending and the fact it's been so long my muscles are probably crying out for mercy. I did have a better day a work, I had a coupld of moments, but I started tape 8 today and that was pretty inspiring. Plus Tape 7 proved to be difficult for me, because I'm the kind of person that has a tag on that says walk all over me, I can take it, take advantange of me I can take it. So my coach and I felt that perhaps coming to grips with the fact this could be a part of my anxiety, therefore I will feel anxious. I floated through my little anxiety episodes today. I play my tapes all day at work (I have ear plugs). It's proving to be helpful. I'm not even going to look back at yesterday other then to say, what happened "NOTHING!!" I was ok, it was a panic attack and I should have stayed and faced it head on. Thanks for your kind words, I do appreciate the support. I'm so glad this website is here. Just reading what others had to say about their panic/anxiety and depression was moving and inspiring. Thanks so much for taking the time. I really appreciate it!! I think the days I exercised I was feeling so good I over did it!! Take care and thanks, thanks, thanks!!!
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Hi,
Thanks!! I haven't given up. I understand by continuing to read through these forums and working with my coach that setbacks are normal. I must not run away from my attacks and there's what bothered me the most. What I ended up doing was reading a few of the different sites on this web and then I was inspired to exercise of all things. Being afraid of dying of a heart attack and turning around to exercise, well I'm feeling a little proud of myself right now. I also did some journaling. Plus I was working on Tape 7 when this happened and this is very tough section for me. I have signs on my back that say, "WAY ALL OVER", "TAKE ADVANTAGE" of, so the Tape Seven Sessions proved to be a very emotional one. But yesterday is gone and today was another day and it was darn good. I had a couple of moments, but forced myself to float through them, self-talk, etc.. When I got home from work, I exercised again. I also noticed those pains in my mid-section seem to be the muscles that are being targeted through portions of my exercise program. Too bad I didn't think of that yesterday. Well thanks for taking time to help me out. You words are very encouraging!! It's so nice to know all of the people on here. I found this website an absolutely positive experience. Thanks again!!! I do appreciate it very much!!!
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Stress Center Community Forums "Attacking Anxiety & Depression" Program Session 2 - Six Steps Designed to Put an End to Panic Attacks Help, why is this happening to me??
