I had a breakthrough that I wanted to share here:

I realized today that NOTHING can "give" me a panic attack. Only I can do that.

All of the things I'd been worried about--what if I take a Xanax and it GIVES me a panic attack?, what if the car breaks down and that GIVES me a panic attack?--are totally invalid. Because, NOTHING can "give" me a panic attack.

Yes, I could take a medication that might make my heart beat faster, or that might give me side effects. But, unless I choose to respond with fear to those feelings, it can't give me a panic attack. If I see them for what they are--side effects of a medication that will pass in time, if they do come--then there's no panic. I give me the panic attack, not the medication.

Same with the car. Yes, if my car broke down, it would be an anxiety-producing situation. My heart would beat faster, I might feel a little dizzy or disoriented--but that would be NORMAL! Most people would feel that way if their car broke down. It would only become a panic attack if I allowed those feelings to scare me. If I see them for what they are--a totally normal physical reaction to a stressful situation, which will soon pass--then there will be no panic. It's not the car breaking down that causes the panic attack, but me.

I don't know why all of this didn't occur to me sooner. But, I realize that I've been giving up a lot of my own responsibility in this by fearing that other things will "give" me panic attacks. But, NOTHING can give me a panic attack, except how I think. I mean, I was thinking about it: let's say the "worst" (for me) was to happen, and I DID have a heart attack. I could have a heart attack without having a panic attack! There's no reason, even if the WORST was happening, for me to make it worse with panic.

This has been a major revelation for me, and I know that some of you will understand.

You know that is very very true. Ive actually realized that earlier bc I read it in a book and it made sense. It helps me a little but Im a scary cat and even though I know the truth I give in to the fear and then I do get the panic attack. I guess with time it will sink in and Ill be able to put it to practice. It sure is good to know that we have control of the panics isnt it?

Very true We do this to ourselves...and now and than I slip back into my old way of thinking...negative, defeating, and scary self talk, and I find myself in the midst of a high anxiety attack...and now and again...a panic attack, and I tell myself I am causing this...and it passes.

I take OTC med's for my headaches as that is all that will work for me...I get severe tension headaches for about a week to a week and a half a month due to my hormones and stress...and the OTC's have 65mg's of caffeine in each tablet and I take two for pain relief...talk about feeling WIRED
WOW...I am not a coffee drinker, so caffeine makes me so dizzy, shaky, jittery, lightheaded, racing heart, etc., and if I didn't have these coping skills...I know I would go straight into a panic attack! Thank God for our coping skills! I sure can relate to this...



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~Angel

Yesterday I almost had my first panic attack since starting the program (I am on lesson 6). I was driving to meet a coworker for lunch. I had never been to this place before and was already anxious over not sleeping the night before due to hot flashes. Anyway, I was probably only a few seconds away from the full fledged attack when I put lesson two in my cassette player. I immediately started applying the skills and calmed myself down quickly. I ended up having a wonderful time. You are right Lori, we can give ourselves an attack BUT we can also change our mind and take it back . Thank God for this program. Sue

Sue and Angel,

You are so right, the great thing is that we can "take it back."

You know, I think my problem for a very long time has been that I saw the inital stress response as a sign of an inevitable panic attack. Something (a thought, an event, anything) would trigger my adreneline response, and my heart rate would go up, and I'd feel shaky and "strange", and I'd automatically go "Uh oh...here comes a panic attack." I didn't understand that I didn't have to have a panic attack, that the adreneline response was normal and I could choose to underreact to it. In fact, this is my second time listening to Tape 2 (I got through about four weeks of the program a few months ago, felt great, then stopped, had a bad relapse, and am now working on the program in earnest), and it was only this time through, as I listened and read the workbook and journalled and did the relaxation tapes that the full impact of it all came to me. So, I guess the "relapse" was a good thing, because it's brought me to this whole new understanding of panic attacks.

I've gone several days now without any panic or high anxiety, and I've done it without turning to others for support (no phone calls, no bothering my husband about it). Tomorrow, I'm going to drive my husband to the train station in the morning to start working on my limitations (I've been very nervous and reluctant to go out alone). I'm excited about my progress, and I am so glad to finally understand, after all of these years (and thinking I knew everything there was to know about panic attacks) what a panic attack really is. The distinction between external and internal anxiety is simply the BEST explanation of a panic attack I have ever read. Before the program, I didn't know the difference. I assumed that my feelings of externally generated anxiety were panic, and so that of course inevitably led to a panic attack. Now that I know that they are normal reactions to stress, and it is only by worrying about them that I'll cause a panic, I feel so much more free and in control.

Good luck everyone,
Lori