ok i am starting all over i got this program a year ago in nov 08 and within two weeks got off all meds and i have nothad an attack or had to take anything. My grandmother who pretty much raised me passed away from cancer last month i made it through everything ok with no meds....but now wow its hitting me hard the panic is eating at me and im so sad crying all the time started when i was affraid to drive an hour away with out my hubby because i was starting to avoid things like that again and it was my sons first field trip so i forced my self lost the bus got lost and paniced the whole time there and back and now its not going away i know how to stop it but it seems to not help now i dont want to be alone never been through this im begging my husband to stay home with me and ofcourse he cant.. the dr gave me xanax and lexirpo but i wanted to beat it with out and i am scared of taking meds yes thats one of my fear things. anyway im feeling very lost and let down that this is happening now i have done so well ....any advice???

TN26,
COULD IT BE THAT YOUR SAFE PLACE WAS YOUR GRANDMA?I EXPERIENCED THE EXACT SAME FEELINGS WHEN MY MOM DIED AT 45YRS OLD 17 YRS AGO.I FELT COMPLETELY LOST AND ALONE.REMEMBER YOU ARE YOUR SAFE PLACE.ITS OK TO GRIEVE AS LONG AS YOU NEED TO.ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR FEELINGS OF LOSS AND IF YOU NEED SOMETHING TO HELP YOU SLEEP OR RELAX THATS OK.EVEN "NORMAL" PEOPLE SUFFER ANXIETY & DEPRESSION OVER A LOSS.HOPE IT HELPS YOU FEEL BETTER.CHAR-LEE

Of course you are feeling these feelings, you just lost your Grandma. Remember that when we have tough times it is when those old feelings start coming back. Now is the time to pick up the program and brush up on it again...or begin if you never finished it last time. Remember that those feelings are temporary....they won't last forever.

I know exactly how you feel it is very frustrating to do so great and then fall in to anxiety and depression again. I also feel the same way that i do not want to go on drugs again and I want to fight it! Staying connected on hear and listening to the tapes again should help you. Good Luck! Hope you are feeling better soon.